Vampire Assassins (Fullscreen) product details page

Vampire Assassins (Fullscreen)

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Jeremy WheelerFor anyone and everyone who has been waiting for a cheesy Blade rip-off flick, look no further Vampire Assassins is here and, boy, is it a hoot and a holler of a great campy time at the movies. The film stars a lifeless lead who's proficient in kung fu but lacking in looks and attitude; the Blade-wannabe actor tries his best, but fails hilariously time after time. Never mind the evil villain Vampire Slovak, played in straight-up New York goomba style by Mel Novak, whose eyeliner is more terrifying than his bite. Add in Rudy Ray Moore and kung fu veteran Gerald Okamura as bootleg Whistler rip-offs, plus acres of bottom-of-the-barrel computer graphics and a leading lady whose dubbing defies all logic known to B-cinema, and you basically have the film in a stale nutshell. Add in a few points for a screenplay that actually dares to rip-off Star Wars, as well as an inevitable future lawsuit from New Line over the use of one of Blade's weapons on the cover of the DVD, and Vampire Assassins cements itself at the top of the ranks of Hollywood rip-offs from heaven. Jeremy Wheeler, All Movie Guide