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What did the manager do when the pitch became flooded?
He sent on his subs.
God and the devil were having an argument, and Satan proposed a football game between heaven and hell to resolve the dispute.
God, in his eternal goodness, pointed out that it wouldn't be a fair match because all the 'good' players go to heaven.
The devil smiled, replying, "Yes, but we've got all the refs."
Football is obviously very serious business— like when that disallowed goal was 'never off-side', and that was 'totally a dive' but it's a funny old game really. This compendium of hilarious jokes will help you see the lighter side when your team is showing you up, and give your mates a good chuckle at the celebrations when they win.