You Have to Say I'm Pretty, You're My Mother - by Stephanie Pierson & Phyllis Cohen (Hardcover)

About the Book

With a mix of wisdom, insight, empathy, and practical advice, this resource examines and explains a wide range of body image issues--from eating disorders and depression to piercings and sexual behavior. It gives mothers the guidance, direction, and perspective they want and the tools they need.

Book Synopsis

This book is the collaboration between the mother of a beautiful 17-year-old with an eating disorder and a New York psychotherapist who has worked with adolescents for over 25 years. The goal of the book is to help mothers help their daughters feel good about who they are, by helping them with their body image issues- everything from feeling fat to eating disorders to sex to depression. The better a mother understands her daughter and the more familiar she is with body image issues, the easier it becomes for her to protect her daughter from potential problems, solve existing ones, and exert a strong, positive influence on the bumpy passage from childhood to adulthood. Not to mention, get a good night's sleep occasionally. In Reviving Ophelia, Mary Pipher brilliantly laid out the issues and problems facing adolescent girls today. What she didn't do was go on from there to provide real suggestions or straightforward practical advice. As insightful as a case history or a story may be, it doesn't help a mother with her own daughter's problems. This is the book that starts up where Reviving Ophelia, leaves off. Body image issues are complex, mysterious, confusing, scary. Mothers of adolescent girls are looking for words, direction, guidance, and clarity. They want answers to the universal mother questions "But what do I do now?", "What can I say to her?", and "How can I help her with that?" Without oversimplifying issues, this book provides much needed information, insight, perspective, helpful reality checks, and pragmatic advice.

Review Quotes

Renée Fleming Mother of two pre-teenage girls, and in her spare time, opera star We all know that girls are sorely troubled by body-related issues, and we may even understand why, but how many of us have a clue about how to handle the problem? What parent hasn't wondered when and how to intervene when a beloved child seems to be recklessly veering toward self-destructive and/or self-sabotaging behavior. This book fills the void. Keep it under your mattress -- I will!

Andrea Marks, M.D. Adolescent medicine specialist and coauthor of Healthy Teens, Body and Soul: A Parent's Complete Guide With humor and empathy, a mother (Stephanie Pierson) and a psychotherapist (Phyllis Cohen) write forthrightly to moms (and dads) about separation from and connection with adolescent daughters; how to model for and speak with them to preserve and foster their self-esteem.

Dr. Gail Saltz Psychoanalyst, The New York Psychoanalytic Institute, and mental health contributor to the Today show A clear, direct, yet humorous book on how to navigate the minefield of raising an adolescent daughter. Pierson, having lived through the pain of her own daughter's suffering an eating disorder, really understands the vulnerabilities of teenage girls and how parents need to be attuned to their struggles. And Cohen's expertise results in smart, specific advice.

Sheila Reindl, Ed.D. Psychologist, Harvard University, and author of Sensing the Self: Women's Recovery from Bulimia You Have to Say I'm Pretty, You're My Mother offers practical wisdom, clarity, hope, and plain talk to mothers (and fathers) concerned about how to help their daughters develop and sustain a healthy regard for themselves and their bodies. With grace and good humor, Pierson and Cohen show empathy and respect for mothers (and daughters); their appreciation for the complexities of mothering a daughter make this gem of a book particularly useful. I am grateful that it exists, and will recommend it to many a parent.

Kate Burton Actress Offstage, my most important role is as a mother. I see how many challenges and hurdles our daughters face and am so relieved to have found a book that is so completely tuned in and so totally helpful. Everyone should read it.

Dr. Jana Klauer Research fellow, New York Obesity Research Institute, St. Luke's-Roosevelt Hospital A gifted writer and an insightful psychotherapist examine the developing image of teenage girls. What they capture will resonate with mothers (and daughters) everywhere. Their wise advice benefits us all.