Becoming Baba - by Aymann Ismail (Paperback)

Book Synopsis

From Slate staff writer Aymann Ismail comes an exquisite memoir about fatherhood, religion, and the search for identity in an ever-shifting world.

"Aymann Ismail is one of the most insightful reporters of his generation. In this beautiful memoir, he uses his powers of perception to examine his own life...What does it mean to be American? What does it mean to be a good person? What does it mean to have faith? Ismail--funny, tender-hearted, and relentlessly honest--makes finding the answers a total pleasure." --Suzy Hansen, author of Notes on a Foreign Country: An American Abroad in a Post-American World

The son of Egyptian immigrants, Aymann Ismail came of age in the shadow of 9/11, tracking the barrage of predatory headlines pervading the media and influencing the popular consciousness about Muslims. After a series of bomb threats were directed at his Islamic school in Teaneck, New Jersey, just a few miles from downtown Manhattan, his parents--anxious that it was no longer safe to be so explicitly Muslim--enrolled him in public school, where he was the only Muslim his new friends had ever met. In the privacy of their home, they turned to their faith for guidance on how to live, adhering to traditional notions about gender roles, and avoiding the putative American dangers of alcohol, sex, and rebellion.

And yet, Aymann is undeniably an American teenager, negotiating his place in multiple worlds while chafing against the structures of his upbringing. He eventually embarks on a career in political journalism, in part to establish his own version of things. In time, though, he also gains a deeper understanding and appreciation for his parents' values and sacrifices--his father's grueling work ethic as a town car driver, and his mother's adeptness at managing their itinerant family.

When Aymann meets and falls in love with Mira, a woman with her own ideas about the modern Muslim family, his world shifts yet again. After Mira gets pregnant with their first child, Aymann begins to reckon with his past, future, and the beliefs that have shaped his life. What does it mean to be a Muslim man? More still, what does it mean to be any man--and a father to a baby boy and girl? And how best to honor one's cultural heritage while holding space for change and discovery?

In lucid, confident prose, Aymann Ismail questions the sturdy frameworks of religion and family, the legacies of his childhood, and what will become his children's ethical and intellectual inheritance. To reckon unflinchingly with these questions offers him a road map for his young Muslim children on how to navigate the singular journey into adulthood.

Review Quotes

One of the Washington Post's 10 Noteworthy Books of July and August - One of Lit Hub's Most Anticipated Books of 2025 - One of BookRiot's Best Nonfiction Books of July

"Guaranteed to steal your heart, Becoming Baba is a profound meditation on what it means to build a self and a family in an often unwelcoming land. Ismail has written an American Odyssey." --Junot Díaz, Pulitzer Prize winner and author of This Is How You Lose Her

"Aymann Ismail is one of the most insightful reporters of his generation. In this beautiful memoir, he uses his powers of perception to examine his own life--as a Muslim growing up in the United States, and as son, husband and father struggling to be as true to his loved ones as he is to himself. Few books deliver on their promise to introduce you to a new world, but Becoming Baba does so on every page, making old questions new again: What does it mean to be American? What does it mean to be a good person? What does it mean to have faith? Ismail --funny, tender-hearted, and relentlessly honest--makes finding the answers a total pleasure." --Suzy Hansen, author of Notes on a Foreign Country: An American Abroad in a Post-American World

"A soulful and entertaining love letter to Ismail's hometown--now I get why he is so obsessed with Newark." --Nicolas Heller (@newyorknico)

"A delight, told with great candor and wisdom...feels universal....At times, I found myself chuckling and then, later, nodding in agreement as Aymann brilliantly chronicles the challenges of finding your faith and finding your footing as a parent." --Asma Khalid, White House correspondent for NPR and co-host of the NPR Politics Podcast

"An uncommonly honest and moving book about family life and fatherhood. Aymann Ismail deeply considers what kind of father he wants to be, and chronicles his attempts to enact that vision, his failures, and his successes. Becoming Baba beautifully lays out crucial questions about manhood, parenting, and faith, and helps readers understand why those questions are important to everyone." --Dan Kois, award-winning journalist and author of How To Be a Family and Hampton Heights

"[Ismail's] memoir thoughtfully examines the challenges of preserving faith....His storytelling balances humor with reflection....A warm and insightful exploration of how faith sustains and evolves across generations." --Kirkus Reviews

"Tender....Lucid and openhearted, this inquiry into what makes a good life will resonate with readers of all faiths." --Publishers Weekly

"Candid, with moments of humor, poignancy, and soul-searching depth, Becoming Baba is an engaging memoir about a man's winding path to maturity, enlightenment, and self-discovery." --Booklist

"Written with humor and affection, Becoming Baba gives the reader a unique insight into the struggle facing many Muslim Americans as they reconcile their faith with American culture.... Ismail has a refreshing humility....It is this humility and his desire to be a good husband and baba that enable Ismail to forgive himself, his mother and, especially, his father." --BookPage

"A Muslim American's search for love, faith, and family, Aymann Ismail's Becoming Baba will grab your heart and feed your soul." --Moustafa Bayoumi

"Aymann charts new territory with his brilliant and vulnerable insight into Becoming Baba. More than just becoming a dad--Becoming Baba is a rare look into the journey of coming into the enigma of our fathers. Aymann is a professional Truth Teller. Becoming Baba is his most honest work yet." --Noor Tagouri, journalist, founder: At Your Service

"Aymann delivers an unflinchingly honest coming-of-age memoir that is equal parts personal and universal. He tells a story of family, identity, and the messy--but beautiful--journey that is learning to make peace with where you come from, all the while widening the lens on what it means to a young, American, Muslim father today." --Malika Bilal, senior presenter at Al Jazeera

"An absolute pleasure to read. What does it mean to be a Muslim man in America today? In the face of rising Islamophobia and an era of increased isolation among men, how does one find and build lasting community and genuine connection? In Becoming Baba, Ismail thoughtfully interrogates his relationship with masculinity, faith, and culture, taking us on a journey as friend, son, husband, and father with both compassion and vulnerability." --Prachi Gupta, author of They Called Us Exceptional

"Becoming Baba is a beautiful, poignant, and timely read. Aymann Ismail elegantly captures the nuances of being a Muslim, an immigrant, and a father in America. This is a critical book for our time." --Zainab Salbi, humanitarian and author of Between Two Worlds: Escape From Tyranny: Growing Up in the Shadow of Saddam and Freedom Is an Inside Job

"A love letter to the American dream--complete with all its frustrations, pains and joys. Ayman shares the push and pull that so many immigrant families face between settling in the United States while still honoring family and religious traditions, and he so with honesty and wit...an entertaining journey to becoming Baba." --Dean Obeidallah, host of Sirius XM's The Dean Obeidallah Show

"This book had me craving my mom's cooking from the moment I picked it up. A unique and inspired journey through a man's life as he finds himself in the people closest to him." --Kareem Rahma, host of SubwayTakes and a founder of Nameless Network

"Stories are what heal us and give meaning to our experiences. Never has it been more important to learn about each other's lives and find the ways our joy, safety, and growth are all interconnected. Aymann's story isn't just about faith and family-- it's about what it means to be fully human, here and now. In a time of apathy, destruction, and dehumanization, Becoming Baba will soothe your soul and remind you that it is a beautiful act of resilience to stay alive." -- Jezz Chung, author of This Way to Change

About the Author

AYMANN ISMAIL is an award-winning Slate magazine staff writer whose journalism focuses on identity and religion. He is the creator of the Slate video series "Who's Afraid of Aymann Ismail?," in which he offers an intimate portrayal of American Muslims. Ismail also hosts "Man Up"--a podcast exploring men, relationships, family, race, and sex--which seeks to provide a blueprint for navigating discussions of masculinity. In addition to Slate, his work has been featured on CNN, The New York Times, NPR, GQ, The Atlantic, Columbia Journalism Review, and The Huffington Post. Ismail's writing has been nominated for the National Magazine Award in reporting and he has won a Writers Guild Award. He lives in Newark, New Jersey with his family.