Defy - by Sah (Paperback)

Book Synopsis

NATIONAL BESTSELLER - Imagine living the life you want to lead, not the one you're willing to accept. This profound but practical book offers clear steps to stop people pleasing and start living your truth.

"A powerful book. If you've ever compromised your principles to please others, Defy will give you the will--and skill--to stand up for yourself."--Adam Grant, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Think Again

In a moment when many of us are anxious and unsure what to do--whether we're confronting injustice on a social scale or facing something closer to home--award-winning researcher Dr. Sunita Sah offers simple strategies to activate your values.

How many times have you wanted to object, disagree, or opt out of something but ended up swallowing your words, shaking your head, and just going along? Featuring groundbreaking research, gripping stories, and easy everyday strategies, Defy reveals how to show up for yourself and others personally, professionally, and beyond. Dr. Sah's data-driven approach shows why everyone needs the power of defiance and how to build this essential skill.

Learn how to:
- Take simple steps to practice defying in low-stakes situations
- Decode your body's signals that it's time to defy
- Activate the superpower of taking responsibility for yourself and others
- Rehearse for challenging situations; get comfortable being uncomfortable
- Teach kids the difference between being "good" or obedient and doing the right thing, even when it's unpopular
- Spark a domino effect: defiance can be contagious.

Compliance is a constant, corrosive force in our society. But while it's pervasive, it's also preventable.

Review Quotes

"While we like to believe we will stand firm in the face of wrongdoing, more often than not we hesitate, freeze or fail to act in line with our values . . . Sah challenges the assumption that defiance must be dramatic or 'superhuman'. Instead, quieter acts of resistance--saying no when we mean it, and speaking up when it matters--can have a profound impact."--Financial Times

"Sah reveals why people need to develop more agency in their lives and change the world they live in."--The Cornell Chronicle

"We've all been there. We've all caved in. Thank goodness for Sunita Sah's spirited book, Defy: The Power of No in a World that Demands Yes, which unpacks the act--and art--of refusal."--The Guardian

"This book is a powerful, transformative read for anyone who's ever felt the tension between doing what's expected and doing what's right."--Daniel H. Pink, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Power of Regret

"Dr. Sah shows us that defiance isn't just for protests; it's just as vital at the kitchen table. Even though I'm someone who is dedicated to challenging the system, Defy showed me how often I let others' beliefs eclipse my own and how the ability to defy is essential for true liberation. . . . A must-read for anyone committed to justice."--LaTosha Brown, co-founder of Black Voters Matter

"Dr. Sah is leading the charge on the science of compliance and defiance. Defy changes our understanding about true consent and true dissent, a real yes and a real no. . . . A must-read for all."--Dr. Robert B. Cialdini, New York Times bestselling author of Influence

"Dr. Sah's Defy is the answer we need for all those regret-filled moments when we stay silent and close our eyes."--Dr. Mona Hanna, author of What the Eyes Don't See

"We navigate the world by choosing what we will or will not accept but Dr. Sunita Sah is delivering, for the first time, the science behind those choices . . ."--Annie Duke, bestselling author of Quit

"Defy will surely become a culture-shifting manifesto for all of us 'moral mavericks' who hope to use conscientious resistance to make the world a better place."--Jonah Berger, bestselling author of Contagious

"Dr. Sah's work... is a must-read for any parent, woman, or professional."--Tina Payne Bryson, New York Times bestselling co-author of The Whole-Brain Child

"Defy answers one of the most pressing questions raised by the pandemic, protests, and the presidential election: why do people behave in ways that ignore science, oppose equity, and undercut their own self-interest? . . . It's an engaging explanation of why defiance is the exception and obedience is the rule..."--Kerry Ann Rockquemore, founder of the National Center for Faculty Development & Diversity

"[A]n important, timely book written by an expert who has studied and lived the central questions in her book: when should you speak up, and how do you empower people at home, work, and play to speak up when staying silent is the easier option?"--Adam Alter, New York Times bestselling author of Irresistible

About the Author

Dr. Sunita Sah is an award-winning professor at Cornell University and an expert in organizational psychology. Dr. Sah is a sought-after international speaker and consultant, advisor to government agencies, and former Commissioner of the National Commission on Forensic Science. Her multidisciplinary research and analyses have been widely published in leading academic journals and media entities including The New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Harvard Business Review, and Scientific American. She lives with her husband and son in New York.