For Real - by Alexander Kopelman (Paperback)

Book Synopsis

Help children thrive by embracing authenticity - starting with yourself.

To provide youth with a genuine sense of self-worth and belonging, parents, educators, and other caregivers must show up authentically in the world. In For Real, Alexander Kopelman, co-founder and CEO of Children's Arts Guild in New York, lays out a creative, compassionate pathway for guiding children to explore their true selves, so that they flourish in the art of growing up.

The process starts with you. Kopelman examines how, through socialization, we learn to begin to suppress parts of ourselves--whether because we like the color purple or felt shamed when we cried. He explores crucial questions that influence development, such as what are "boys' toys" and "girls' toys," and who gets to decide? What is identity and how do individuals express it? With original research, conversations with the country's most respected psychologists and experts on childhood, and interviews with the kids themselves, For Real presents a framework for unpacking these messages and discovering what authenticity means to you. Through Kopelman's unique, child-centered approach, you learn how you and the children in your sphere can dynamically engage with art, poetry, and journaling prompts as a path to self-discovery. How to make a celestial map of your inner universe, and how to get to know yourself better by taking a selfie, are two of many creative tools that help adults and children alike author their own stories.

In the post-pandemic world, being able to read and follow an inner compass has never been more vital, nor has supporting kids in discovering who they are and growing into the people they want to be. In For Real, Kopelman offers a hopeful, inspiring roadmap for guiding the next generation toward self-understanding, genuine belonging, and authenticity--and reminds us that we, as caregivers and educators, are essential parts of that journey.

Review Quotes

"Alexander Kopelman has written a profound exploration of what it means to live a life of authenticity and its resounding positive impact on early childhood development. From start to finish, For Real is an engaging must-read for anyone who wishes to pursue a deeper sense of belonging and pay it forward to future generations." --Danny Meyer, founder of the Union Square Hospitality Group

"As someone still recovering from the bias I encountered during my debilitating attempts at socialization as a child, I believe this book is a boon to anyone who wants to provide better childhoods for their children and students." --Gary Shteyngart, author of Vera, or Faith and Super Sad True Love Story

"As a new grandma, without the everyday anxieties of parenting, I have a do-over opportunity to be more mindful and more present with my grandchildren. I read For Real not to redo my past but to understand it with gentler (wiser?) eyes--as a guidebook for me to help the children I love by doing less suppressing, less molding, less pressuring, and more listening, nurturing, and allowing. Crafting is my love language, and the creative activity suggestions provide opportunities to bring authenticity themes to life in a memorable way." --Susan A. Buffett, chair of the Sherwood Foundation

"For Real is a must-read book for any adult who wishes to engage hon-estly with children--their own or not--helping them spread their wings to discover myriad talents and, in so doing, simultaneously encouraging deep reflection and dissection of one's own abilities and authenticity." --Avantika Akerkar, actor, advocate, and communications consultant

About the Author

Alexander Kopelman is a writer, social entrepreneur, advocate, and coach who has devoted 40 years to advancing social justice and personal empowerment. His lifelong interest in identity, self-determination, and the power of narrative has fueled his commitment to supporting young people in overcoming the limiting effects of outmoded societal stereotypes on individual development. As founding President and CEO of Children's Arts Guild, Kopelman helped create and grow a nonprofit organization that supports children in exploring and developing their authentic selves. Prior to founding Children's Arts Guild, Kopelman served as Director of Marketing for Girls Inc., the premier girls' empowerment organization in the US and Canada, for over 12 years. Kopelman has authored and co-authored 10 books. He lives in New York City with his wife, daughter, and very small dog.