Lines That Work - by Amy N Kaplan (Paperback)

About the Book

Book Synopsis

Kirk James has used every line in this book. Some of them worked. Most of them worked better than they had any right to. At least one of them started something that three legal teams across two star systems still cannot fully explain. He regrets nothing.

Lines That Work is the definitive romantic field guide from the smoothest pilot in the known galaxy - a velvet-suited, blue-haired charmer who spent years traversing the Drift, encountering new species, and rolling dice in the name of love. Each pickup line comes rated by Kirk himself, with a recommended charisma modifier, detailed delivery instructions, and the kind of earnest strategic analysis that can only come from a man who genuinely believes that confidence, commitment, and a decent dice roll can conquer the universe.

He is not wrong. Mostly.

Featuring commentary from the full crew of the Free Range Vag Box 69 - including a five-star endorsement from a Captain who has monetized the results, a spiritual warning from an android priestess who has read the dangerous pages multiple times for research purposes, a soldier who tried one of the lines once and will not be discussing the outcome, and a crewman who supports Kirk completely and remembers everything very well - Lines That Work is equal parts romance manual, comedic memoir, and love letter to the chaos of found family.

Whether you're navigating the social complexities of The Hub, charming your way through an alien encounter, or simply trying your luck at the cantina on a Tuesday, this guide has a line for the moment, a modifier for the math, and a Kirk James pep talk for the soul.

Roll a 16. Deploy the stare. Trust the process.

A humor title from Misfit Pages. Originally developed during the Starfinder tabletop campaign "Free Range Pumpkins in Space."

Review Quotes

"These lines work. I don't know why they work, I don't care why they work, I just know that I have watched Kirk use half of these on people who absolutely should have walked away and they did NOT walk away." - Captain Vivian, Captain by Popular Vote, Free Range Vag Box 69

"Yeah. They work." - Al, Engineer, Free Range Vag Box 69

"Kirk is still alive so he must be doing something right. Is probably fine for you too." - Natashka, Soldier, Free Range Vag Box 69

"Kirk means every single one of these lines with his whole velvet-suited heart. That counts for something." - Tana, Technomancer & Resident Artist, Free Range Vag Box 69

"I have seen him walk into rooms that should have gone badly and walk out with someone's number and his dignity fully intact, which is harder than it sounds." - Rick, Decorated Operative, Free Range Vag Box 69

"This crew is the most depraved, chaotic, fascinating collection of individuals I have ever encountered in any time period." - Rush Finneman, Journalist, Temporally Displaced

"Kirk used a pickup line on the final villain. It worked. I don't want to talk about it. Buy the book." - Oz, Game Master, Patient Beyond All Reason

"The contents are morally dubious, theologically unsound, and at least three of the lines on page 47 border on heretical. I do not endorse this book." - Emon, Priestess of Aroden, Free Range Vag Box 69