This Too Shall Last - by K J Ramsey (Paperback)

About the Book

This Too Shall Last, by therapist and writer K.J. Ramsey, combines personal stories and insightful research to reveal the surprising joy available in suffering.

Book Synopsis

This book is not a before-and-after story.

Our culture treats suffering like a problem to fix, a blight to hide, or the sad start of a transformation story. We silently, secretly wither under the pressure of living as though suffering is a predicament we can avoid or annihilate by working hard enough or having enough faith. When your prayers for healing haven't been answered, the fog of depression isn't lifting, your marriage is ending in divorce, or grief won't go away, it's easy to feel you've failed God and, worse, he's failed you. If God loves us, why does he allow us to hurt?

Over a decade ago chronic illness plunged therapist and writer K.J. Ramsey straight into this paradox. Before her illness, faith made sense. But when pain came and never left, K.J. had to find a way across the widening canyon that seemed to separate God's goodness from her excruciating circumstances.

She wanted to conquer suffering. Instead, she encountered the God who chose it. She wanted to make pain past-tense. Instead, God invited her into a bigger story.

This Too Shall Last offers an antidote to our cultural idolatry of effort and ease. Through personal story and insights from neuroscience and theology, Ramsey invites us to let our tears become lenses of the wonder that before God ever rescues us, he stands in solidarity with us. We are all mid-story in circumstances we did not choose, wondering when our hard things will end and where grace will come if they don't. We don't need to make suffering a before-and-after story. Together we can encounter the grace that enters the middle of our stories, where living with suffering that lingers means receiving God's presence that lasts.

Review Quotes

'A must-read for patients and anyone with constant pain or suffering. K.J. will change your relationship with pain forever as she shares her journey, knowledge, spirituality, and strategies to find peace and grace during lasting suffering.'-- JOSE NATIVI-NICOLAU, transplant cardiologist

'Absorb K.J.'s book. Spend the time you need to integrate her words into the fabric of your soul. There is a simple reason to make such an investment. This book is a powerful and accessible integration of theology (e.g union with Christ) and neurology (e.g. attachment patterns) in service to the relational modality that makes suffering sufferable. K.J. makes it clear how and why suffering is redeemed through honesty and vulnerability with someone who loves you enough to listen well.'-- JAMES E. COFIELD, coauthor, The Relational Soul

'I opened the pages of this book and found grace. You won't find pat answers or quick fixes here. Instead, you'll find the healing balm of honesty, vulnerability, and shared experience. K.J. Ramsey is a gift.'-- ALISON COOK, therapist; author, Boundaries for Your Soul

'I serve a church that recently lost its beloved founding pastor to brain cancer. What do we do when it is life that withers and suffering that blossoms? When pain simply doesn't pass? K.J.'s words pulse with gospel truth and grace for those who live in the middle of a still-painful storyline.'-- JORDAN KOLOGE, rector/pastor, Church of the Advent

'In a market so often dominated by easy answers and spiritual platitudes, K.J. has crafted a work of masterful complexity and depth. She seamlessly weaves pieces of memoir with universally applicable truths, tearfully soaked in a wisdom birthed from her intimate understanding of pain. With prose that often feels more like poetry than instruction, K.J. empathetically guides readers through a nuanced reflection on suffering, faith, community, and embodiment. In the end, we're left in the perfect tension between comforted and challenged, with a newfound ability to see the beauty in that sacred dissonance.'-- STEPHANIE TAIT, author, The View from Rock Bottom: Discovering God's Embrace in Our Pain

'In a world where dark nights of the soul are inescapable, we need help seeing that it is not our circumstances that reveal to us the truth about God, but the truth of God that reveals to us the meaning in our circumstances. As Paul said of his own thorn in the flesh, it is in our weakness that the power of God is most at work, transforming our thorns into crowns. Loved and kept by a strong, steady God who works all things together for good, hope and meaning wait for us in the shadows. K.J. does a very good job opening our eyes to this reality.'-- SCOTT SAULS, pastor, Christ Presbyterian Church; author, A Gentle Answer

'In this compelling book, K.J. brings together the keen insight of a therapist, the poignant testimony of a person suffering from chronic illness, and the resounding hope of a follower of Jesus. Theologically articulate and bracingly honest, K.J. points the church to its deepest identity as children of the wondrous triune God. I am grateful for this book!'-- J. TODD BILLINGS, Girod Professor of Reformed Theology, Western Theological Seminary

'In this remarkable debut, K.J. Ramsey arrives as both neighbor and guide, deftly weaving vulnerable storytelling, clear theology, and a compelling therapeutic framework. Against a backdrop of suffering, K.J. awakens us to our tender, tear-streaked Savior, who holds our hand through it all. Refreshing and luminous, this book has the power to reshape our faith and fortify our communities.'-- SHANNAN MARTIN, author, The Ministry of Ordinary Places and Falling Free

'Just when I needed it most, this book was given to me. Within these pages I found language for all that I've felt and hope for all that I need. Through her vulnerability and beautiful writing, K.J. shows us how we can find grace in suffering that lingers and strength in God's presence that lasts. The invitation your heart longs for in the middle of your brokenness is waiting for you here.'-- RENEE SWOPE, author, A Confident Heart; former executive director and radio cohost, Proverbs 31 Ministries

'K.J. is real in the deepest and best sense of the word. Her suffering is tragically real. But more important, her God--revealed in Jesus and in her pain--is real. Instead of an escape from suffering, this book gracefully, eloquently, and truthfully invites us into real life with Jesus in the midst of real suffering.'-- HOWARD BAKER, Assistant Professor of Christian Formation, Denver Seminary

'K.J. works from her own turbulent experience to weave empathy, therapeutic wisdom, and rich theology into an artful gift. All who suffer will find deep-running currents of grace in her work. Rarely do I find such a work that models so powerfully the therapeutic properties of good theology, from the Trinity to ecclesiology.'-- DON J. PAYNE, Associate Professor of Theology, Denver Seminary

'K.J.'s exquisite offering comes from the depths of suffering and from a whole heart. She's a woman whose vulnerability makes it easy for you to relax into the wild and wondrous story of God, and to see how God's design of human brains and bodies invites participation in the life of the suffering servant. A wondrously healing book.'-- CHUCK DEGROAT, writer; therapist; Professor of Pastoral Care and Christian Spirituality, Western Theological Seminary

'Of all people, those who follow Jesus should have a framework to relate to suffering and loss. However, we often find ourselves lacking the internal and external resources to navigate the harsh realities of life. K.J. offers us a powerful way forward to help us find God in the midst of suffering that has no end date in sight. I highly recommend it!'-- RICH VILLODAS, lead pastor, New Life Fellowship

'The kingdom of God is both 'now' and 'not yet, ' but what are we supposed to do when it seems like it's mostly 'not yet'? Drawing on her experiences of God's grace in the midst of chronic suffering, K.J. delivers penetrating insights about the present age that most of us never see but that we all so desperately need. There is better news than the American Dream, and this is it.'-- BRIAN FIKKERT, coauthor, When Helping Hurts and Becoming Whole: Why the Opposite of Poverty Isn't the American Dream

'The truest words in this book are 'this book is not a before and after story.' K.J. looks without caveat into the reality of suffering, her own and others, and doesn't flinch from the truths to be mined there. Neither does she paint a picture of suffering as glorious or easy. She tells the truth, the gritty, mired truth about suffering, and instead of merely offering a path forward, she stands beside her reader for the journey.'-- LORE FERGUSON WILBERT, author, Handle with Care: How Jesus Redeems the Power of Touch in Life and Ministry

'There is little, if any, place for suffering within the theology of many American Christians. Yet everywhere around us, people are suffering. We are suffering. This Too Shall Last examines--with moving honesty, sharp insight, and deep faith--what it means to suffer, how to suffer, and why an understanding and acceptance of suffering is essential to Christian belief and the Christian life.'-- KAREN SWALLOW PRIOR, author, On Reading Well: Finding the Good Life through Great Books

'This book is not for everyone: it's for the weary. K.J. is a modern-day prophet. The job of a prophet is to speak truths, particularly those truths that expose the illusions of the dominant culture. In this book, K.J. exposes illusions that bind us, but she doesn't stop there. Her goal is to invite you into your story. Your story matters more than you think, particularly your story of suffering. Why? Because, as K.J. unfolds in the following pages, it is in your story of suffering that you mysteriously come to know the One who gets down on the floor with you, and sits in the fire of your ache. All you who are weary, welcome.'-- ADAM YOUNG, therapist; host, The Place We Find Ourselves podcast

'What do you do when your trial isn't merely a matter of making it through to the other side? You're not going to get better or your situation will never get resolved. And how do you reconcile such things with your faith and those seemingly unanswered prayers? I am so grateful for the deep and compassionate treatment of these challenging questions in this new book. K.J. is a beautiful writer with a strong and thoughtful response to the heartache of suffering. You will find no pat answers here, but I daresay you will find unexpected hope.'-- LISA JACOBSON, Club31Women.com

'When I first saw the cover of this book and read the title, I knew I needed to get my hands on it. Turns out, you really can judge a book by its cover. For anyone who is hurting, for anyone whose life isn't turning out like they had hoped, this is an extraordinary invitation, from a credible voice, to be held by God in the middle of suffering. Don't miss this book.'-- JENNIFER DUKES LEE, author, It's All under Control