Breaking the Male Code - by Robert Garfield (Paperback)

Book Synopsis

Calling for a new men's movement, a noted psychotherapist examines the critical role close male friendships play in helping men lead happy, healthy lives.

For much of the past century, men have operated under the rules of Male Code, a rigid set of guidelines that equate masculinity with stoicism, silence, and strength. But as men's roles have changed, this lingering pressure to hide their emotions has wreaked havoc on men's lives and relationships, making them more likely to suffer from depression, anger, and isolation. Robert Garfield has worked with men struggling with emotional issues for more than forty years. Through his Friendship Labs--clinical settings in which men engage in group therapy--he teaches men how to identify inner conflicts, express emotions, and communicate openly.

In Breaking the Male Code, Garfield examines the unique challenges men face and urges them to abandon Male Code in favor of a masculinity that integrates traditional male traits with emotional intimacy skills. Drawing on real-life stories, original research, and his firsthand clinical experience, he shows how close friendships can serve as the foundation on which men can build and sustain deep relationships with all of their loved ones and in turn lead happier, healthier lives.

Review Quotes

"Breaking the Male Code will help men discover and accept their own rich, complex emotional natures and respect the wide range of ways to express themselves as men. It will help men resolve their psychological issues. Breaking the Male Code is book every man needs to read to live a happy and healthy life."
--Washington Book Review

"Garfield has written a book I didn't realize I needed. It's hard to ask for more than that."
--Kansas City Star

"In this rewarding self-help book, Garfield guides men through the whys and practical hows of developing fulfilling male friendships...It's hard to imagine a guy's guy picking this book up, but if he were assigned to read it, he'd be surprised--it contains an empathetic, approachable, skills-driven guide to an invaluable reward."
--Publishers Weekly

"Dr. Garfield explains why emotional intimacy is a rare quality in male friendships and offers a clear road map for men to forge deeper connections. His style is warm, engaging, and user-friendly. I suspect that countless wives will put this book on their husband's bedside table."
--Harriet Lerner, Ph.D, author of The Dance of Anger and Marriage Rules

"Rob Garfield knows that the cure for what ails men is intimacy--connection to themselves and others. With compassion and wit, he shows men, step to step, how to move beyond the strictures of male code into the richness of an open heart. Both practical and moving, Breaking The Male Code belongs on the shelf of every man wanting to grow, and every clinician dedicated to helping."
--Terrence Real, author of I Don't Want to Talk about It

"In this wonderfully readable book, Dr. Robert Garfield brings his extensive knowledge and rich experience to show how men think and feel about their relationships with other men. Breaking the Male Code delivers a powerful and hopeful message, one that provides men of all ages with the skills necessary to enjoy deep and fulfilling relationships with each other. This book has the potential to dramatically improve all the important relationships in men's lives!"
--Constance Ahrons, Ph.D., professor emerita, University of Southern California, and author of The Good Divorce and We're Still Family

"A compelling book that goes to the heart of male loneliness and points the way toward deeper and more fulfilling friendships in men's lives."
--Sam Osherson, author of Finding Our Fathers and The Stethoscope Cure

"Remember how Thoreau said that men 'lead lives of quiet desperation?' If only he'd read Rob Garfield's book! He'd understand not only why they're desperate, but also how to address their needs. A vital message about men's emotional needs, offered with care, thought, and great compassion."
--Michael Kimmel, author of Guyland and executive director, Center for the Study of Men and Masculinities at Stony Brook University

"With warmth and empathy, Rob Garfield takes on the task of helping us to overcome our stereotypes about maleness and our often incomplete definition of friendship so that men can relate to each other in an intimate way."
-- Donald N. Bersoff, Ph.D., J.D., former president, American Psychological Association

"Garfield does a superb job of revealing the obstacles to intimacy in men's friendships as well as providing a detailed guide on how to build such friendships. Linking the theoretical with the practical, this book will be extremely useful for men everywhere."
--Niobe Way, Ed.D. professor of Developmental Psychology, New York University, and author of Deep Secrets

"Breaking the Male Code is a book that will change lives. Garfield's broad and deep knowledge of men, their struggles, doubts and perseverance, coupled with their often unfulfilled wish to connect with other men, is evident on every page. His sage direction will enable men to relish life more fully."
--Evan Imber-Black, Ph.D., program director, Marriage and Family Therapy, Mercy College, and author of The Secret Life of Families and Rituals for Our Times

"Breaking the Male Code has the potential to be among every therapist's best friend in terms of what they'll want to recommend to their male clients. A valuable resource for males of all ages and for the women who love them."
--Robert Heasley, PhD, CMF, past president, American Men's Studies Association, professor of sociology, Indiana University of Pennsylvania

About the Author

Rob Garfield M.D., a psychotherapist and clinical faculty member in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania, has been recognized by Philadelphia Magazine as both one of the city's "Top Docs" and "Best Therapists." An engaging speaker, he has presented his work on men's friendships to both lay and professional audiences and published numerous articles on the subject of male emotional intimacy.