Long Days, Short Years - by Andrew Bomback (Hardcover)

About the Book

"How parenting has, over the last half century, emerged as a pervasive verb that invokes extremes of joy, guilt, pride, anxiety, and responsibility"--

Book Synopsis

How parenting became a verb, from Dr. Spock and June Cleaver to baby whispering and free-range kids.

When did "parenting" become a verb? Why is it so hard to parent, and so rife with the possibility of failure? Sitcom families of the past--the Cleavers, the Bradys, the Conners--didn't seem to lose any sleep about their parenting methods. Today, parents are likely to be up late, doomscrolling on parenting websites. In Long Days, Short Years, Andrew Bomback--physician, writer, and father of three young children--looks at why it can be so much fun to be a parent but, at the same time, so frustrating and difficult to parent. It's not a "how to" book (although Bomback has read plenty of these) but a "how come" book, investigating the emergence of an immersive, all-in approach to raising children that has made parenting a competitive (and often not very enjoyable) sport.

Drawing on parenting books, mommy blogs, and historical accounts of parental duties as well as novels, films, podcasts, television shows, and his own experiences as a parent, Bomback charts the cultural history of parenting as a skill to be mastered, from the laid-back Dr. Spock's 1950s childcare bible--in some years outsold only by the actual Bible--to the more rigid training schedules of Babywise. Along the way, he considers the high costs of commercialized parenting (from the babymoon on), the pressure on mothers to have it all (and do it all), scripted parenting as laid out in How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, parenting during a pandemic, and much more.

Review Quotes

One of Greater Good's Favorite Parenting Books of 2022

"Bomback's work on modern parenthood takes on many prevalent topics, including economic anxiety, social pressures, and the tension between careers and family life. His narrative also reveals the internal pressures that parents face to become the best they can be in that role, while recognizing the limits of their resources, patience, and personalities...His empathy and frankness shine through on each page. This book is enjoyable to read and likely to be validating for many parents of young children."
--Library Journal

"[A] charming outing...The author's determination to be a better parent is evident and motivating, and his wide-ranging study makes for a fascinating look at caretaking philosophies. Parents will find this full of insight."
--Publishers Weekly

"There is something refreshing about a 'parenting' author who admits to being imperfect, knows he does not have all the answers, and is not entirely sure what all the questions are. The result is that Long Days, Short Years is plainspoken and straightforward in expression in a thoroughly non-didactic way that readers are sure to appreciate."
--Infodad blog

"The Parent Trap highlights the folly in expecting parents to shoulder the complete responsibility for their children's skill development, because it leads to success for only a fraction of children whose parents are wealthy. Hilger wants to stop overwhelming parents with unrealistic expectations and provide them with professional support and resources to help their children thrive and fulfill their potential.
--Greater Good

About the Author

Andrew Bomback is Associate Professor of Medicine at Columbia University Irving Medical Center and the author of Doctor. His essays have appeared in the Atlantic, Los Angeles Review of Books, McSweeney's, and elsewhere.