Tender Paws - by Wendy Lyons Sunshine (Paperback)

About the Book

"Far from a standard dog training manual, Tender Paws explicitly applies parenting wisdom and best practices used with special needs kids to a cross-section of scenarios, from recognizing developmental trauma and unmet core needs, to making decisions about appropriate equipment, to responding to difficult behavior, to understanding the parenting style from which we approach our dogs"--

Book Synopsis

Tender Paws takes a deep dive into the practical benefits of applying therapeutic parenting best practices to dogs in our care.

ender Paws sheds fresh light on dog care, not found in other dog training and behavior books, by asking: What if you could parent your dog the way experts approach raising a vulnerable child?

When award-winning journalist Wendy Lyons Sunshine adopted her first puppy--rescued from behind a gas station, separated from the litter too soon, anemic, and overwhelmed--she struggled to cope with the chaos.

Standard training guides failed her, and in desperation she turned to an unlikely resource: a bestseller for adoptive families. Suddenly she saw the puppy not as a problem to correct, but as a young creature with invisible, unmet needs, and their relationship blossomed.

In Tender Paws, Sunshine shares what she discovered about the essentials for supporting a dog's body, mind, emotions, and relationships--and ultimately why getting to the root of a dog's needs and behavior can make all the difference.

The book features dozens of fascinating cases and introduces the HEARTS framework--six practical, research-backed caregiving habits that help any dog flourish, whether you're living with an 8 week-old puppy who's all teeth or a 10 year-old adult rescue with a mysterious history.

You'll discover:

• Simple, gentle methods that support a dog's body and mind, based on research into neurobiology, attachment, child development, learning, and trauma
• Dozens of real cases--the spaniel pushed to the brink, the high-drama border collie, the adult rescue facing behavioral euthanasia--to show you what genuinely helps
• The unmet needs and nervous-system stress underneath many behaviors, and how to build the sense of safety a dog needs before training can take hold
• How to choose equipment and training methods that serve your dog best
• The HEARTS chart that readers tell us they photocopy and use daily--a simple way to pinpoint what your dog actually needs when behavior goes sideways
  

"Lots of positive, gentle methods for working effectively with dogs." --Temple Grandin, author of Animals Make Us Human

Winner of the 2025 ASJA Book Award and the 2024 Maxwell Medallion for Best Rescue/Adoption Book.

Frequently Asked Questions

I adopted a rescue with an unknown or traumatic past. Is this the right book for me?
It was written with you in mind. It applies trauma research and attachment science--the kind used with at-risk children--to puppies and dogs carrying histories of neglect, abuse, or early deprivation.

How is Tender Paws different from a regular dog-training book?
Most training focuses on obedience and control. Tender Paws gets to the root of why your dog behaves the way it does and what it genuinely needs to thrive. Positive, force-free training is one part of a comprehensive, science-led approach rather than the whole answer.

Do I need a background in science or psychology to follow it?
Not at all. Readers and award-judges consistently describe it as easy to read and immediately usable, with real-life stories, helpful visuals, and one simple framework. It translates research from child development and animal behavior into plain, practical steps.

Review Quotes

"...a must read for dog parents looking to foster a strong relationship with their pets. It's well researched, informative, entertaining and clearly written with eye-opening, fresh, practical and actionable dog-training advice ...."

***Winner in the Service/Self Help category of the 2025 American Society of Journalists and Authors (ASJA) Awards***

"With eye-opening and heart-tugging case studies, Tender Paws shows how the same foundational methods that help at-risk children can also support struggling dogs in our care.

When Wendy Lyons Sunshine got her first puppy--abandoned behind a gas station, struggling with worms and anemia--she was in over her head. As puppy training guides failed to help her with the out-of-control, traumatized bundle of teeth and claws rescue pup, she turned to her work helping world-class child development experts. Could strategies for raising happy, well-adjusted kids transfer to a puppy?"

*** 2024 Winner of Dog Writers Association of America's Maxwell Medallion for rescue/adoption book ***

"Entertaining guide to dog training, based on parenting principles."

--BookLife Reviews

"An articulate, highly informative, and enjoyable puppy-parenting primer."

--Kirkus Reviews

"This is a thorough guide that will be most helpful to patrons who need help training difficult dogs. It includes a good deal of background information and theory along with its practical suggestions."

--Library Journal

"An invaluable and thoroughly 'user friendly' instructional reference and 'how to' guide for anyone who has (or would like to have) a canine companion. Exceptionally well organized and presented, informed and informative, and ideal for non-specialist general readers with an interest in the subject, "Tender Paws: How Science-Based Parenting Can Transform Our Relationship with Dogs" is especially and unreservedly recommended for personal, professional, community, and college/university library Dog Training & Animal/Pet Care collections."

--Midwest Book Review

"Wendy's insights for adopting scientific best parenting practices for our family dogs provide unique and welcome contributions to the pet dog industry and dog loving culture. Her interdisciplinary approach to our relationships with dogs, as domesticated animals who remain genetic and circumstantial lifelong dependents on us humans as our pets, is elemental to the evolution of our collective understandings and practices as professionals and families. Wendy helps us to see our dogs as the sentient, emotional, intuitive, social species that they are--one who has shared a love story with our own species over thousands of years and so become intimately intertwined with our own families as a result. This book capitalizes on the author's exceptional ability to guide parents in the critical elements of providing the necessary security that children require to show up in the world as their best selves, in order to help dog families to do the same. A powerful, well-researched, and important common-sense book for every dog lover. Highly recommend."

--Kim Brophey, CDBC, CPDT-KA, author of Meet Your Dog: The Game-Changing Guide to Understanding Your Dog's Behavior

"I love this book! Not only will it help transform the relationship the reader has with their dog but it has the potential to change how they relate to other humans and even with themselves. This is no ordinary training manual! Tender Paws gives an insight into the importance of understanding the individuals' lived experience, with a heavy focus on safety (physical and emotional) and the importance of fostering secure social attachments. We are seeing a much-needed move away from compliance-based approaches to ones that seek to put the individual dog's care and support needs front and centre. By doing this, the book will encourage the reader to give their dogs the best gift of all--a voice! I highly recommend this book, and I know dogs everywhere will too. "

--Andrew Hale, founder of Dog Centred Care

"I'm so glad Wendy Sunshine--a best-selling child development author--suddenly began to wonder about dogs. In her new book Tender Paws, she pulls off something extraordinary: an exploration into parenting and dog-raising techniques that is both wonderfully readable and fully grounded in well-cited science. The author focused her considerable research skills on the topic, and dozens of poignant case studies and examples of hard-won wisdom shared by thoughtful fellow travelers (including some famous names!) really give Tender Paws its powerful emotional punch. I'm so grateful this book now exists!"

--Kathy Callahan, author of Welcoming Your Puppy from Planet Dog and 101 Rescue Puppies

"Tender Paws will be especially helpful for people who are getting new puppies or adopting traumatized rescue dogs. This book offers lots of positive, gentle methods for working effectively with dogs."

--Temple Grandin, author of Animals Make us Human and Visual Thinking