Adoption Unfiltered - by Sara Easterly & Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard & Lori Holden (Hardcover)

About the Book

Book Synopsis

Reveals the candid thoughts and feelings of those most directly involved in adoptions: adoptees, adoptive parents, and birth parents.

Adoption Unfiltered authors Sara Easterly (adoptee), Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard (birth parent), and Lori Holden (adoptive parent) interview dozens of adoptees, birth parents, adoptive parents, social workers, therapists, and other allies--all sharing candidly about the challenges in adoption. While finding common ground in the sometimes-contentious space of adoption may seem like a lofty goal, it reveals the authors' optimistic aim: working together with truth and transparency to move toward healing.

Healing isn't possible, though, without first uncovering the hurts--starting with adoption's central players: adoptees, who are so often in pain, suffering from what the latest brain science validates as the long-term emotional effects of separation trauma. By encouraging others to vulnerably share their stories, the authors discover that adoptees aren't the only ones in the adoption constellation who are hurting. Birth parents regularly shut down after being shut out by adoptive parents. Adoptive parents often struggle with unique parenting challenges and hidden insecurity, feeling the need to hide the fact that they are not the Super Parents they led the agency to believe they would be. Across the industry as a whole, misinformed and even unethical practices abound.

Adoption Unfiltered models the importance of adults in adoption working together in the spirit of curiosity and empathy--to better support adoptees and their first and adoptive families.

Review Quotes

"Easterly, Vander Vliet Ranyard, and Holden model beautifully in Adoption Unfiltered the complexities of the Both/And of adoption. As someone who has worked in the adoption industry since 1990 I know firsthand the dedication it takes to sit in community with other members of the adoption constellation (in this case an adoptee, a birth/first parent, and an adoptive parent) with the common goal of creating a body of work that is respectful and empathetic, while also critical and innovative. In Adoption Unfiltered, Easterly, Vander Vliet Ranyard, and Holden show us how it's done!" - Astrid Castro, adoptee and CEO/Founder of Adoption Mosaic

"Groundbreaking! The rare opportunity to experience an adoptee, birth-mother and adoptive mother communicating honestly and compassionately offers a much-needed model for those navigating the inevitable tensions and joys that exist in adoption." - Angela Tucker, author of You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption

"As both scholarly examination and deeply personal narrative, this is a carefully crafted, highly respectful, broadly readable examination of adoption. This is a meeting of minds, hearts, advocacy, and empathy. There's just so much here!" - Glenn Morey, adoptee and creator of the Side by Side project and the New York Times Op Doc and Audible Original Given Away

"Adoption Unfiltered is a dream come true. As an adoptee and the leader of an organization that values inclusiveness, collaboration, courage, and trust, this book resonated with me deeply. I found myself cheering the authors on as I read. We grow in our understanding through listening to others, hearing them, feeling with them, and honoring their lived experiences. Adoption Unfiltered provides a unique opportunity to do just this. The triad of authors--Sara, Kelsey, and Lori--structured their work and successfully collaborated to elevate authentic voices, with the adoptee at the center. They expose many of the raw issues, the ones that are hardest for many to acknowledge. The hard truths. They also provide sound suggestions for individual, and institutional, healing. Nuanced and thought-provoking, this book should be required reading for everyone, from adoptees and their families to adoption professionals and policymakers. This book is a true gem that offers a unique perspective on adoption and illuminates the way forward for understanding, healing, and growth." - Betsie Norris, adoptee, founder and executive director of Adoption Network Cleveland

"As a person adopted in the 1960s, this is the kind of ground-breaking book I wish my adoptive parents had read. It does not shy away from the harsh realities of what adoption truly means to everyone. The pages are full of honest accounts of the emotional impact to all parties. I identified with it all and read each word with relief that this factual book is now informing our culture. This is the truth of our experience, which so many choose to not want to understand. But understand we must for the sake of all families affected by adoption. I highly recommend this book to anyone considering adoption, or who is associated with adoption in any way. Adoption will continue to take place, but honest books like this will help make sure that this next generation of adoptees do not have to suffer in the way so many of us have and still do." - Zara Phillips, adoptee advocate and author of Somebody's Daughter

About the Author

Sara Easterly is an award-winning author of books and essays. Her spiritual memoir, Searching for Mom, won a 2020 Illumination Book Award gold medal, among many others. Sara's adoption-focused articles and essays have been published by Psychology Today, Dear Adoption, Feminine Collective, Godspace, Her View from Home, and Severance Magazine, to name a few. Sara is the founder of Adoptee Voices and resides outside of Seattle with her husband, two daughters, and a menagerie of rescued fur-babies.

Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard is the Director of Advocacy and Policy at AdoptMatch, where she works on public policy issues impacting all adoption-triad members. She's a birth mother who is passionate about raising the standards in adoption to better serve the children, mothers, and families affected by family separation. Adoption has been a monumental part of her entire life: Kelsey is the daughter and granddaughter of adoptees. She has worked at various agencies and law firms in the adoption field and is also a co-host of the first-ever birth-mom podcast headed into its third season, Twisted Sisterhood. Kelsey resides in Northern California with her husband and daughter.

Lori Holden, a veteran parent of two young adults, writes at LavenderLuz.com and hosts the podcast Adoption: The Long View. She's the author of the acclaimed book The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole (recommended by People magazine in 2021), written with her daughter's birth mom and featured on adoption-agency required-reading lists across the country. She has keynoted and presented at adoption conferences around the US and Canada, and her work has appeared in magazines such as Parenting and Adoptive Families. In 2018, she was honored as an Angel in Adoption(R) by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute (CCAI). She lives in Denver, Colorado.