Be a Man - by Russell Rowland (Paperback)

About the Book

Be a Man is a memoir of one man's journey to recover from alcoholism, anger management issues, and domestic violence while also exploring how growing up in the American West contributed to those struggles.

Book Synopsis

Russell Rowland grew up as a fourth-generation Montanan during an era when Westerns ruled television and film. As a young man Rowland struggled with alcohol, anger management, and domestic violence--grim legacies he fought for years. Be a Man is Rowland's exploration of how his family history, the mixed messages from the men around him, and media influences gave the impression he was expected to be self-contained, stoic, and capable of solving all his problems on his own.

Thanks to Rowland's father, who checked himself into an alcohol treatment program when Rowland was in college, Rowland was fortunate to find sobriety for himself at a young age. Yet even then, it took years of therapy to understand the source of his anger and to figure out what it meant to "be a man." Combining his personal story with historical, regional, and media perspectives about the West, this book is Rowland's effort to let others know that the journey to manhood need not be solo.

Review Quotes

"[Rowland's memoir] is part explanation, part outreach to let others--especially men--know the manly cowboy image is far from the truth. Instead, the book also holds up the ideal of working together against a wide-open and sometimes unforgiving environment, relying on community and family, and developing a comfort with feelings. . . . 'We also seem to have this idea that abusive men are incurable, ' Rowland said. He watched the transformation of his father, especially after he quit drinking--a story that replayed itself in Rowland's life. That transformation that began with sobriety also led to deeper understanding about what is possible. 'This is to let other men and women know that I experienced and overcame uncontrollable anger.'"--Darrell Ehrlick, Daily Montanan

"An invigorating vision for what it means to be a real man in the real West rather than play one on TV or for political theater. . . . It's a potent vision for 'another new West, ' one with immeasurable benefits for all of us."--Bridget Quinn, author of Broad Strokes and Portrait of a Woman

"In Be a Man Russell Rowland's courageous self-anatomy exposes the baleful consequences of tight-lipped stoicism. . . . As he insists, to be a man also means to embrace and even celebrate a rich emotional life and language, one that depends upon self-reflection, risk-taking, exposure, and speech."--O. Alan Weltzien, author of Savage West: The Life and Fiction of Thomas Savage

"In this fascinating and vulnerable book, Russell Rowland tells us what it means to truly live in the West, laying bare all the myths and exploring the damage those myths have done, especially to boys and men, although not exclusively to them. Be a Man sheds light on the root causes of the state's high suicide rates, and the impact of alcoholism on such isolated land. Despite the beauty, Rowland describes the harsh work it takes to live in such a wide open, rural space. This mythic landscape comes at a cost, and Rowland shows us how easily one can be lost there, especially an artistic, sensitive child. This poignant memoir is raw and vulnerable, revealing the cost of living a life defined by the idea that a Western man is a man of strength and stoicism above all else."--Mary Jane Nealon, author of Beautiful Unbroken

"Rowland's memoir is unflinching in his look at how growing up under the pressure to be tough and suppressing emotion may have contributed to his own struggles with alcohol, anger, and abuse. But he emphasizes his parents are not to blame because they, too, and generations before them, were raised the same way, with the 'Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about' philosophy. And women were supposed to be strong and not complain, too, he said, even in the face of loneliness in the seemingly limitless expanse of the Western prairie."--Liz Kearney, Livingston Enterprise (Montana)

"Russell Rowland offers a stark and vulnerable look at the perils of Western masculinity in his new memoir, Be a Man: Raised in the Shadow of Cowboys. . . . By exploring his family history, childhood memories, struggles with alcohol, insecurity, and violence--as well as his pathways of recovery--Rowland provides a framework for understanding how the perceived stoicism and toughness of the men of the west often leads to depression, abuse, and high rates of suicide. . . . The book is sometimes painful, sometimes downright sad, but always insightful and, ultimately, healing. The men raised on John Wayne movies and a never-back-down ethic would benefit greatly from this book, as would the people who struggle to be in the lives of such men."--Marc Beaudin, Big Sky Journal

"Russell Rowland's revealing memoir Be a Man belongs on the shelf of anyone of any gender who cares about the culture of 'the West' and how that now impacts Americans everywhere. Rowland reveals truths and terrors behind the myths Americans are fed by movies and TV, whose consequences have impacted our lives in this twenty-first century. This is a personal as well as a political and cultural exposure of how we all ended up where we are now, all told with Rowland's honest, savvy, critical yet loving eye."--James Grady, Montana native and creator of movie and TV's Condor spy sagas

About the Author

Russell Rowland is a writer, writing instructor, radio host, and podcast host. He is the author of the nonfiction book Fifty-Six Counties: A Montana Journey, the coeditor of West of 98: Living and Writing the New American West, and the author of numerous novels, including In Open Spaces, The Watershed Years, High and Inside, Arbuckle, and Cold Country.