Beyond Pipe Dreams and Platitudes - by Geraldine K Piorkowski (Paperback)

About the Book

Healthy Religion (Benefits of);Unhealthy vs. Healthy Narcissism;Narcissism in American Culture, eg. Road Rage;Culture's Role in Anger;Vulnerability: Antidote to Loneliness;Romantic Love as Fantasy

Book Synopsis

In this eye-opening collection of essays, Dr. Geraldine K. Piorkowski shares what she learned working with people from different socioeconomic levels, races, sexual orientations, and walks of life. Besides reaffirming that all people are fundamentally the same, she discovered many psychological realities that run counter to popular culture. Among her insights is the observation that positive thinking does more harm than good at times, especially when it bypasses the normal processing of negative events and emotions. Another cultural misdirection is the overemphasis on romantic love as the be-all and end-all of existence, where unrealistic expectations lead to love's downfall. She also notes that unhealthy narcissism, which runs rampant in American culture, is quite different from the healthy variety that is the bedrock of self-love.

These illuminating and provocative essays, titled 1) Positive Thinking Isn't All It's Cracked Up to Be, 2) When Is Madness Better than Sadness? 3) Romantic Love Is Mostly an Illusion, 4) Vulnerable People Are More Likable than Super-Confident Ones, 5) You Can't Make Anybody Do Anything, 6) Luck or Chance Has Been Badly Underrated, 7) A Smidgen of Narcissism Adds Joy and Spice to Life, and 8) Empathy and Healthy Religion Go Hand in Hand, all provide a new understanding of psychological health and well-being.

Review Quotes

Timeless wisdom for all ages! Dr. Piorkowski's easy-to-follow writing style provides evidence of scholarship about many of the various stresses found in peoples' lives. Of special value are Dr. Piorkowski's views about tangled lives; her views do not rely on a simplistic sentimentality. Indeed, a portion of her book seeks to debunk "sacred cow" concepts, such as the "power of positive thinking," the unlimited power of romantic love, the notion that all varieties of anger are equally destructive, that all narcissism is unfortunate. This precious book deserves a location on a shelf that family members of all ages can access.

Review by Dr. Richard A. Steffy, Professor Emeritus, University of Waterloo, Dept. of Psychology, Waterloo, Canada.

Dr. Piorkowski's book is a wise, approachable, and wide-ranging analysis of contemporary life in the USA. Particularly notable are the chapters on "Intimacy," which delineates why love is so difficult and transitory, and on "Vulnerability" and "Empathy," exploring important elements of friendship and love. Unlike authors who exaggerate the role of self-creation, Dr. Piorkowski illuminates the role of luck in life and how misinterpretation of its impact can lead to either false pride or undeserved self-depreciation. Her final chapter emphasizes the universal values of religion, which counterbalance the narcissism, materialism, and violence that too often are part of modern life

Review by Dr. Alice Bernstein, Clinical Assistant Professor, Dept. of Psychiatry, University of Illinois at Chicago and Faculty, Chicago Institute for Psychoanalysis.

Seldom does one experience an attention-grabbing psychology book that challenges established notions about so many relatable topics and does it in such a concise and easily readable fashion. Only a highly respected clinical psychologist like Piorkowski, with more than 50 years of experience, could add such value to counter-cultural ideas. It is a book meant to engage anyone interested in preconceived beliefs about Positive Thinking, Romantic Love, Luck or Chance, among other familiar topics.

Review by Dennis Gieser, DDS, Marquette University.

Thought-Provoking Book for our troubled times! The author's experience and thoughtfulness show throughout the eight interesting essays. By the end of the book, I felt I had a better understanding of why America is so divided and left with some thoughts of issues we need to address if we are to change that.

I have not stopped reflecting on the book since I finished it. Our society seems perpetually angry these days which is noticeable for the car drivers on freeways, to social media, to the recent protests and counter protests. The author suggests anger may well be more powerful than fear, which rings true to me. When anger is coupled with enhanced feelings of entitlement, can or will anyone listen to someone who has other ideas? All the above and more are addressed in the author's essays.

Review by Kathy Gallo, retired Human Resources Executive.

This book is a thoughtful, broadly accessible reflection on assumptions we live with that may narrow rather enrich our lives. Dr. Piorkowski challenges long-standing assumptions like the efficacy of positive thinking. She similarly discusses romantic love as, "...not reliable, trustworthy or dependable." So some chapters read as modern cautionary tales while others read as her path to an engaged and healthy life: "A Smidgen of Narcissism Adds Joy and Spice to Life." She makes a case for how empathy and religion "mitigate against self-centeredness...and entitlement" that ultimately diminish our joys.

Review by Ida Cardone, Ph.D, Northwestern University '77.