Keeping Your Kids Out Front Without Kicking Them from Behind - by Ian Tofler & Theresa Foy Digeronimo (Paperback)

About the Book

For parents raising a child gifted in academics, athletics, and the arts, the authors present a guide on how to nurture and support these children, and present a way to counter-balance the dangerous effects of "achievement by proxy" parents.

Book Synopsis

Keeping Your Kids Out Front Without Kicking Them From Behind is acommon sense guide for moms and dads of talented and giftedchildren. In this practical book, authors Dr. Ian Tofler andTheresa Geronimo--experts in the field of parenting--present theirSeven-Step Program for Encouraging and Protecting High-AchievingChildren. This innovative program offers guidance for establishinghealthy boundaries between parents' ambitions and the needs oftheir talented children and clear-cut instructions for helpingchildren balance achievement with happiness.

To read Debating What is Best for Our Children, an excerpt fromthis book, click here.

From the Back Cover

Do you believe your child is gifted--certainly more talented than the kid next door? Are you proactively positioning your young child for college honors, a professional career, and well-deserved fame? If so, beware! You could be unwittingly pushing your kid to fulfill your own dreams of grandeur and success. Because a typical day may be crammed with advanced academic assignments, after-school piano lessons, art classes, and soccer tournaments, many of these talented children are careening off the fast track to success. Under so much pressure and stress, they are crashing and burning before they reach adolescence.

How can you, as a parent of a truly gifted child, walk the fine line between supporting your talented kid and projecting your own needs and desires?

Written with wisdom and a healthy dose of wit, this practical guide shows how to avoid the negative effects of "Achievement by Proxy Distortion" (ABPD) and protect kids from being overscheduled, overworked and overpressured. Filled with a wealth of interviews and insight from noted experts in the field of child development, this enlightening book includes directions for evaluating a child's abilities, suggestions for monitoring a child's mental and physical health, and information for understanding the financial and emotional commitment needed to support the development of a child's talent. Most important, the authors present guidelines that will help parents separate their own needs, ambitions, and dreams from those of their children.

Using the author's Seven-Step Program for Encouraging and Protecting High-Achieving Children, parents can

• Establish if a child is truly exceptional
  
• Select classes, schools, and camps that nurture high-achievers
  
• Learn to deal with over-the-edge instructors
  
• Weigh the cost of sacrifices made in the pursuit of excellence
  
• Watch for red flags of ABPD behavior

Exceptional children need exceptionally balanced guidance. The suggestions outlined in this book will help parents learn how to nurture their talented children and support them as they strive to reach their full potential.

Give Your Exceptional Child Exceptional Support

Are you pushing your kid to the breaking point? Don't fall into the trap of pressuring your gifted child into achieving your own unfulfilled longings for glory and success. Living up to those dreams has its price. Your kids could be cheated out of a normal childhood as you enroll them in an endless series of classes and lessons in your quest to see your offspring reach the top.

Keeping Your Kids Out Front Without Kicking Them From Behind is a commonsense guide for moms and dads of talented and gifted children. In this practical book, Dr. Ian Tofler and Theresa Foy DiGeronimo--experts in the field of parentin--present their Seven-Step Program for Encouraging and Protecting High-Achieving Children. This innovative program offers guidance for establishing healthy boundaries between parents' ambitions and the needs of their talented children, and clear-cut instructions for helping children balance achievement with happiness.

"This book provides the third voice that parents of gifted chidlren really need to help make the difficult everyday decisions. How much study or practice is too much versus too little? How much pressure or competition is an incentive for a child's mastery, and how much is too stressful for a young talented person?"
--Beth Samberg, program director, ACE Educational Services, SAT preparation course, Los Angeles, California

"An excellent book for all parents to read! It fills a void especially for parents with kids in sports."
--Joan Ryan, author, Little Girls in Pretty Boxes

"A concise yet richly developed book on a critical topic for this century, by a well-respected psychiatrist."
--Ron Kamm, M.D., vice president, International Society for Sport Psychiatry and fellow of the American Psychiatric Association

Review Quotes

"This book provides the third voice that parents of gifted chidlrenreally need to help make the difficult everyday decisions. How muchstudy or practice is too much versus too little? How much pressureor competition is an incentive for a child's mastery, and how muchis too stressful for a young talented person?" (Bonnie and FredWaitzkin, Bonnie Waitzkin, director of chess program for giftedelementary school children, Fred Waitzkin, author, Searching forBobby Fischer and The Last Marlin.)

"An excellent book for all parents to read! It fills a voidespecially for parents with kids in sports." (Joan Ryan, author, Little Girls in Pretty Boxes)

"A concise yet richly developed book on a critical topic for thiscentury, by a well-respected psychiatrist." (Ron Kamm, M.D., vicepresident, International Society for Sport Psychiatry and fellow ofthe American Psychiatric Association)

"Tofler and DiGeronimo's pre-eminent book develops reasonedapproaches to the development of healthy, successful, and talentedchildren, while avoiding the potentially damaging, even deadlydemands placed upon their young shoulders. . . . [they] haveprovided marvelous examples, suggestions, guidelines, andconclusions. They will show you how to define the distinctionsbetween healthy nurturing and harmful exploitation as you bringyour talented, highly talented or even genius children in a familysetting." (Larry Stone, M.D., past president, American Academy ofChild and Adolescent Psychiatry, Clinical Professor of Psychiatry, University of Texas Health Science Center at San Antonio)

About the Author

IAN TOFLER, M.B., B.S., is a Harvard-trained child and adolescent psychiatrist in practice in Los Angeles. He is the inaugural chair of the Sport Psychiatry Committee of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. THERESA FOY DIGERONIMO, M.Ed., is coauthor of How to Talk to Your Children About Really Important Things and How to Talk to Teens About Really Important Things (Jossey-Bass, 1994, 1999).