Our Separated Lives - by Philip J Kenward (Paperback)

Book Synopsis

Our Separated Lives is a father's perspective on the Forced Adoption Era in 1970s Australia. There is very little written about this-the fathers of nearly 10,000 children adopted in 1970, or any other year, are notably silent.

This heartfelt memoir encompasses the consequences of forced adoption, including profound regret, loss, and abandonment for all parties. It's a story of coercion and control, and how people 'stepping in' caused long term damage to the birth parents and the adopted child.

It also examines the reunion with the adopted child and the implications of meeting them for the first time as an adult. Reunions are significant, but they don't make everything right. It can still be a rocky road from there!

Review Quotes

This book drew me in and kept me turning the pages.

'Our Separated Lives' takes us beyond the facts of

forced adoption and the societal norms of the day. It is

written with heart wrenching honesty about the

decisions that were made on Phil's behalf that left him

totally stranded, humiliated, and confused.

As a birth mother from the forced adoption era, Phil's

experiences touched me personally. I often say,

"Adoption affects so many more people than just the

mother and baby." Here we have a father's experience

of the influence of family, friends and religion, and the

government policies that tore young lives apart.

Written in an engaging open style with insights into

adoption and social work practices past and present,

'Our Separated Lives' offers a vital new perspective on

understanding the causes and consequences of

adoption.

A 'must read' for anyone touched by adoption.

Di Riddell

Author of 'Beyond Abuse' and

'Speak Out: From Suppression to Expression'

In exploring his journey, Phil has sought to better

understand not only his own story as a father who lost a

daughter to adoption in 1970, but also the experiences

of adopted people. His motivation is clear: to build a

stronger, more understanding relationship with his

daughter, while walking alongside others in the

adoption community. In doing so, he has quietly

supported many adopted people and parents who have

lost children to adoption-listening with empathy,

sharing his perspective with humility, and asking

thoughtful questions that reflect his genuine desire to

learn.

Phil's book, 'Our Separated Lives', is an extension of

the man himself-raw, honest, and unafraid to

articulate the longing, complexity, and fragility of

adoption and reunion. Many times while reading, I was

moved to tears by the way he captures emotions that

so many feel but cannot find the words to express.

Phil's voice is one that matters in the adoption

conversation, and I am grateful for his courage in

sharing it.

Dr Jo-Ann Sparrow

President, Jigsaw Queensland

Congratulations Philip J Kenward on having the courage

to share your story with the world. A powerful and

compelling account, told with very real and raw

emotion; I had to keep turning the page. I also enjoyed

how Philip reminisced about his early childhood,

especially the thunder box in the back yard and the

lolly cigarettes.

I could relate to Philip's emotional journey, as I am

married to one of those fathers whose first daughter

was adopted at birth. Although his story is vastly

different and one we don't often speak about, I

recognise the same range of emotions in him.

I applaud, Phil, that the facts around forced adoption

have been revealed, and can say from my own

experience it was still practiced in 1975. I was also

pressured coercively, but I was one of the lucky ones as

my parents backed me to keep my son.

Thank you, Phil, for sharing such a powerful story.

Rita-Marie Lenton,

Funeral Celebrant and Author