Restoring Childhood - by Peter Gray (Hardcover)

Book Synopsis

What if the answer to the youth mental health crisis isn't less screen time--but instead, more independence?

We have spent the last few decades laser-focused on improving safety for children. We have supervised them more, and made their lives more achievement-oriented, with the good intentions of helping them find success in the increasingly competitive adult world. But what if all that protection is part of the reason kids are now struggling?

In Restoring Childhood, author, researcher, and psychology professor Peter Gray argues that children need something that seems to be missing from modern childhood: the freedom to play, explore, solve problems, and take age-appropriate risks without adults constantly directing them. When we assume children are fragile, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Overprotection leads to increased rates of anxiety and depression in children; but, as Restoring Childhood shows, independence builds children's confidence, resilience, and emotional strength.

Restoring Childhood is a radical examination of how certain societal trends--from round-the-clock news coverage, to increasing reliance on cars, to the introduction of Common Core, to growing wealth inequality--conspired to create a fundamentally anti-child environment. And if we continue to tighten the leash on our kids, no amount of screen-time restriction will reverse the alarming mental health crisis we see our kids enduring today.

We must restore childhood to children. We must, individually and collectively, prioritize adult-free play, and the time and space for it--in our schools, in our neighborhoods, and as parents.

Review Quotes

"Restoring Childhood is the book this moment needs. Peter Gray makes an irrefutable case for letting children be children and lays out a clear path to make it happen. This book will forever change how you see your kids and how they see themselves."
-- Jennifer Breheny Wallace, New York Times bestselling author of Never Enough and Mattering

"In Restoring Childhood, Peter Gray gently but firmly asks us to look at how our love, fear, and obsession with perfection may be getting in the way of what our kids desperately need. Gray sits beside us, holds up the evidence, and invites us to ask, quietly and honestly, 'What have we taken from childhood, and what might it take to put it back?'"
-- Julie Lythcott-Haims, New York Times bestselling author of How to Raise an Adult

"Peter Gray is a national treasure who reminds us that nature 'wires' children to play, explore, and seek independence--and that we thwart this inborn drive at our own peril. Fortunately, Professor Gray offers a road map for making it easier for parents to trust their kids more, worry about them less, and let them be kids. If you have kids, work with kids, or just care about kids, please read this remarkable book!"
-- William R. Stixrud, PhD, clinical neuropsychologist and coauthor of The Self-Driven Child and What Do You Say?

"For anyone anxious to understand the real causes of the struggles of recent generations, read this book. A scrupulously researched, profoundly compelling explanation of what happened to childhood in America and how to make things right--for children, parents, schools, and our country."
-- Ned Johnson, coauthor of The Self-Driven Child and What Do You Say?

"In Restoring Childhood, Gray challenges the simplistic narrative that today's generation is in crisis because of smartphones and social media, and invites us to consider the broader forces reshaping childhood. Thoughtful and deeply hopeful, this book is an important contribution to conversations about what children need to thrive in a rapidly changing world. Gray shifts the focus from restricting children's lives to expanding them."
-- Candice L. Odgers, Chancellor's Professor of Psychology and Informatics, University of California, Irvine

"Noted evolutionary psychologist Peter Gray dismantles many assumptions about the impact of social media and other modern threats to youth while offering a robust catalog of strategies for letting them 'off the leash.'"
-- David F. Lancy, author of Learning Without Lessons: Pedagogy in Indigenous Communities

"In recent years, parents and policymakers have been told that social media is driving a youth mental health crisis. Peter Gray sets the record straight. Children have long been telling us the truth: it is the erosion of their freedom to explore--and damaging school policies--that are doing the harm. With Dr. Gray's insights, we can finally focus on what really matters for kids' wellbeing."
-- Christopher J. Ferguson, Psychology Professor, social media effects research and coauthor of Moral Combat: Why the War on Violent Video Games is Wrong

"Why do some children grow into happy, capable, and productive young adults--while so many others today struggle with anxiety, depression, and despair? We are all living with a nation-wide crisis in youth mental and physical health. In this landmark book, Peter Gray does more than document the problem--he shows what has gone wrong with how we are raising our children to develop into competent, successful adults. Drawing on decades of research, along with his authentic personal experiences, Gray makes clear that this crisis did not begin with smartphones or social media, but stems from over four decades of declining childhood independence and increasing academic pressure. What becomes clear is this: just as all humans require food, sleep, and social connection to thrive, children require those--and, critically, substantial time for self-directed experiences such as play--to develop the autonomy, competence, and social capacities essential for adulthood. When children are deprived of these experiences--as is increasingly the case today--the consequences extend beyond distressed children to an American society that is less capable, less resilient, and less prepared to meet the demands of 21st century life. Happily, Gray's is not a message of despair. He points clearly toward practical ways forward, grounded in our human, biological heritage. This is a deeply informed and ultimately hopeful message for parents, educators and policy makers."
-- Stuart Brown MD, Founder, National Institute for Play

About the Author

Dr. Peter Gray is a research professor of psychology and neuroscience at Boston College. He has conducted and published research in neuroendocrinology, developmental psychology, anthropology, and education. He did his undergraduate study at Columbia University and earned a Ph.D. in biological sciences at Rockefeller University. His current research and writing focus primarily on children's natural ways of learning and the life-long value of play. He has helped found and continues to support nonprofit organizations aimed at bringing more play and independent activity to children's lives. He is the author of an internationally acclaimed college introductory psychology textbook (Psychology, now in its 8th edition), which views all of psychology from an evolutionary perspective, and of Free to Learn: Why Unleashing the Instinct to Play Will Make Our Children Happier, More Self-Reliant, and Better Students for Life.