True Companions - by Kelly Flanagan (Hardcover)

About the Book

How do we cultivate the life-long relationships we are longing for, whether within marriage or friendship? Psychologist Kelly Flanagan shows how each of us can enjoy the deeply satisfying, transformational love of companionship. With self-knowledge and an understanding of our own loneliness and emotional defenses leading the way, we can make the choice to love more vulnerably.

Book Synopsis

When we quit sabotaging intimacy in our relationships by demanding unconditional love, we discover something much greater--the deeply satisfying, transformational love that is companionship.

In these pages psychologist Kelly Flanagan shows how each of us has within ourselves, exactly the way we are, the gifts that are needed to cultivate the life-long relationships we are longing for, whether it is within marriage or friendship. He shows us how self-knowledge leads the way to growing in love for both God and others. He shows us how understanding our own loneliness can help us relieve the pressure on our companions. And he shows us how understanding our own psychological and emotional defenses can help us to make the choice to love more vulnerably.

More than a marriage book, this is a companionship book. Anyone--from single young adults to elderly married couples, from the divorced to the widowed, from siblings to friends--can benefit from the wisdom it uncovers about what it means to be human and to be true companions.

Groups, couples, and individuals can use the companion study guide for five sessions on how to show up in your most important relationships.

Review Quotes

"He had me at the table of contents. I went there first to decide if I was going to read the book. Weary of reading marriage books that seemed too lofty or talked about having a date night, I long ago moved on to books of poetry and novels, which have actually helped my marriage. But when I felt a tug at my heart just by reading the descriptions of the chapters in True Companions, I knew this book would be different. If you want a wise, honest, and true friend to take a walk with you, Kelly is that friend. And on that walk, he will open your heart to new truths and new questions, and gently lead you down an unexpected path toward change in yourself and your relationship with the one you love. Please take this journey with him. Kelly is a trustworthy guide."

"In True Companions, Kelly Flanagan grapples with the joys and risks of genuine connection. With sincerity, wisdom, and deft storytelling, Flanagan dares readers to become more human. In an increasingly inhumane world, his is a dare worth taking."

"What Kelly does for all of us in this deep dive into being-in-relation is help us unearth those deeply buried conditions we've been loading onto what we think we've been asking for or offering as 'unconditional love.' Then, therapist that he is, Dr. Flanagan invites us to put down the mallet and befriend our loneliness, shame, and abandonment. . . . Kelly charts a path of waking up so we can show up as our best selves in our most important relationships. . . . I'm so glad to commend True Companions to you."

About the Author

Kelly Flanagan is a clinical psychologist and is the founder of Artisan Clinical Associates, a private practice in Naperville, Illinois, offering services to teens, adults, couples, and families. The author of The Marriage Manifesto and Loveable, he has also written for publications such as Christianity Today, Reader's Digest, and Huffington Post. In 2014, a letter he wrote to his daughter led to their appearance on the TODAY Show. Flanagan is a popular blogger and speaks regularly on topics related to marriage, parenting, and spiritual formation. He lives in Dixon, Illinois, with his wife, Kelly, and their three children.