Unlearning Jewish Anxiety - by Caryn Aviv (Paperback)

About the Book

"Jewish anxiety is real, but it is not inevitable. We don't have to suffer simply because of the challenging history or learned patterns we've inherited. We don't have to suffer simply because of who we are in the world, or how the world imagines, distorts, and treats Jews. I believe we have more choices about how to respond to life's challenges than we think. I believe we can unlearn these habits with awareness, curiosity, compassion, and courage. I believe Jewish spirituality offers deep wisdom and simple practices for how to release these patterns from our minds and our bodies for good. We can learn how to calm down, suffer less, and get free. I believe we can choose to live with more joy, despite the conspiracy theories and hatred"-- Provided by publisher.

Book Synopsis

Confronting the reality, habits, and healing of Jewish anxiety.

Jewish anxiety is not all in our heads. Nor is feeling anxious simply a Jewish stereotype, even though many Jews tout anxiety as a stereotypical virtue and ascribe it as a motivator for success. Jewish anxiety is real. We inherit it from our ancestors. We learn it simply by living in an unsafe world as Jewish people. We learn it growing up in Jewish communities. We unconsciously transmit Jewish anxiety to our children through how we remember the past, retell our stories, and celebrate Jewish holidays. We experience Jewish anxiety in how we habitually react to stress, fear, and uncertainty, whether that stress has anything to do with being Jewish. We receive painful messages from the wider world that we internalize as repetitive stress habits of fear, unworthiness, and shame, and then turn these hateful messages on ourselves and each other through the voices of unrelenting internal critics.

Jewish anxiety is real, but it is not inevitable. We don't have to suffer simply because of the challenging history or learned patterns we've inherited. We don't have to suffer simply because of who we are in the world, or how the world imagines, distorts, and treats Jews. I believe we have more choices about how to respond to life's challenges than we think. I believe we can unlearn these habits with awareness, curiosity, compassion, and courage. I believe Jewish spirituality offers deep wisdom and simple practices for how to release these patterns from our minds and our bodies for good. We can learn how to calm down, suffer less, and get free. I believe we can choose to live with more joy, despite the conspiracy theories and hatred.

Review Quotes

"Anxiety is no new phenomenon. But amid today's wave of social, emotional, and political turmoil on a global scale ... forthcoming books bring a faith perspective to dealing with the queasiness of stomach and soul that now afflicts so many of us.... Denver-based rabbi Caryn Aviv put the final touch on her book manuscript for Monkfish--Unlearning Jewish Anxiety: How to Live with More Joy and Less Suffering--on the very day that an antisemite firebombed Jewish people in nearby Boulder." --Cathy Lynn Grossman, Publishers Weekly, July 7, 2025

"With fierce compassion and practical wisdom, Caryn Aviv's Unlearning Jewish Anxiety is a necessary gift for our trembling times. She names our inherited fears and invites us into the sacred work of tending our own lives so that healing might ripple outward. Again and again she reminds us: 'It's up to us' to nurture our bodies and spirits, to claim safety, worth, and belonging. This book gently re-teaches the nervous system to choose purpose over panic. Read these pages slowly, share them in community, and let them guide you toward healing. You'll be glad you did." --Rabbi Menachem Creditor, author of And Yet We Love: Poems and Timeless Torah

"Unlearning Jewish Anxiety is a radiant JEW-el in the murky stew of self-help books about managing anxiety, mindfulness and trauma healing. Rabbi Aviv offers a beautifully written, accessible guide to managing the unique habits, patterns and legacies of Jewish anxiety. Grounded in neuroscience, Jewish feminist wisdom and trustworthy ethics, she also 'walks the talk' by weaving her personal experience with managing Jewish anxiety with compelling insights from teaching these embodied practices to others. This is a powerful toolkit for friends, families, and communities to read and practice together in the spirit of transformation and healing at a time of urgency, brutality and division." --Karen Erlichman, DMin, LCSW, spiritual director, psychotherapist, community facilitator

"Filled with wise teachings, interviews, and stories that help us remember who we are beneath our fear, Caryn Aviv gifts us with a guidebook (to understanding and undoing our Jewish anxiety, ) in service of the better angels of our humanity. An important read that is extremely relevant for our day." --Rabbi Dr. Tirzah Firestone, author of Wounds into Wisdom: Healing Intergenerational Jewish Trauma

"Caryn Aviv reminds readers that authentic and sustainable Jewish identities, communities, and practices are shaped but not defined by the worlds and identities Jewish people inhabit. Unlearning Jewish Anxiety invites readers to reimagine learned patterns and offers a practical toolkit for building healthy habits that keep the mind, body, and ultimately the world in good repair." --Shawn Landres, PhD, coeditor, Personal Knowledge and Beyond, and cofounder, Jumpstart Labs

"Rabbi Caryn Aviv writes with rare clarity and care, helping us transform the weight of inherited anxiety into fertile ground for awareness, creativity, and renewal. This is a deeply needed book--one that reminds us that the work of healing ourselves is also the work of healing the world." --Rabbi Adina Allen, creative director, Jewish Studio Project

"Reading this book is like having a conversation with a sociologist, a rabbi, and good friend all in one. Caryn Aviv provides wisdom, understanding, and guidance on how to free ourselves from anxious patterns. In a gentle, conversational manner she provides teachings and practices to help unlearn inherited patterns of Jewish anxiety." --Amy Grossblatt Pessah, rabbi, spiritual director, author of Parenting on a Prayer

"Aviv weaves neuroscience with Jewish practice to show how anxiety builds and how 'kindfulness'--pausing, breathing, listening--can loosen its grip. She refuses shame and insists on our inherent safety, worth, and belonging. This beautiful book isn't a scold; it's a companion: practical tools, wise stories, and a deeply Jewish path toward more joy and less suffering." --Rabbi Shira Stutman, co-host of the Chutzpod! podcast, and founder of Mixed Multitudes

About the Author

Caryn Aviv is the rabbinic and program director at Judaism Your Way in Denver, CO. She's a rabbi, recovering academic in sociology and Jewish studies, and (mostly) formerly anxious Jew. She creates spaces, stories, rituals, and practices that offer safety, healing, equity, compassion and justice for Jews and their loved ones and allies. As a professor and rabbi she's taught Jewish history and culture for two decades, and she now teaches the material in this book in workshops, at conferences, with congregations, and online in partnership with national Jewish organizations all over the US. She lives in Denver, CO.