Why We Suffer and How We Heal - by Suzan Song (Hardcover)

Book Synopsis

A psychiatrist who has dedicated her life to treating global survivors of unspeakable horrors shares the three keys to resilience that we can use to weather stress, loss, and trauma in our own lives.

Some survivors are unflappable, yet it's not their optimism or grit or mindfulness that carries them forward - it's that they acknowledge and internalize the inherent instability in their lives. They are using the three tools that allow us to weather life's stormiest seasons: narrative, ritual, and purpose. In her debut book, Harvard- and Stanford-trained child and adult psychiatrist Suzan Song draws from her clinical practice, patient stories, research, and public health work to help readers release their unrealistic longing for stability, and open them up to a new, heathier mindset.

While most of us will not experience the horrors of torture or being held hostage, there are countless uncertainties and dangers that are common in everyday life. From the challenges of tumultuous relationships, work, parenting and personal finances, to upheavals like the pandemic and climate disasters, we find ourselves lost and confused each time our lives are upended. How we cope is shaped by an intricate daisy chain of choices and experiences.

Dr. Song has studied which human instincts and actions can help weather the winters of life, drawing on the visual motifs of the "three friends of winter" in Korean art--pine, bamboo, and plum blossoms--plants that thrive even in the harshest of winters. For all humankind the universal "three friends of winter," are narrative, rituals and purpose. These three tools require deep reflection, as they can destabilize us as well as allow us to embrace the instability inherent in life.

When we're enjoying spring and summer, we don't imagine that they'll last forever. The same should be true for our own lives.

About the Author

Dr. Suzan Song is a Harvard- and Stanford-trained psychiatrist, humanitarian researcher and adviser. For more than two decades, she has dedicated her work on building resilience in individuals and communities affected by adversity--from everyday struggles to the world's most challenging environments of war and human trafficking. Dr. Song has advised the United Nations, multiple U.S. federal agencies and Ministries of Health, shaping systems of care for children and families in crisis to bridge clinical innovation with systems reform. She has a private practice in Washington D.C., is a professor of psychiatry at George Washington University, and a sought-after speaker on leadership resilience, systems change, and the science of healing. Her mission is to bridge clinical reality and systemic change, bringing the lessons of human survival into leadership, policy, and programs that can transform lives at scale.