You're Not Done Yet - by B Janet Hibbs & Anthony Rostain (Hardcover)

About the Book

"A clear-eyed, optimistic guide for parents with adult children who need help navigating the challenges to launching an independent life ... Two leading adolescent mental health experts provide a path to optimistic parenting, combating the frustrating isolation and anxiety many feel when dealing with their twenty-something children. Hibbs and Rostain explain why the times really are unprecedented, and how parents need to change their way of thinking in order to support their children without driving them away. Chapters cover topics such as addressing internal bias on what your child is 'supposed' to do, learning how to talk less and listen more, and how to get your child the help they need when addiction and mental illness are factors. Packed with helpful information and step-by-step guides to specific situations, this book will be an invaluable resource for struggling parents and their twentysomething children"--

Book Synopsis

A clear-eyed, optimistic guide for parents with adult children who need help navigating the challenges to launching an independent life.

Times were already tough for young adults looking for ways to start living independent lives after high school and college: rents were up, wages were down, student loan debt was burdensome, then the Covid-19 pandemic hit. A generation of young people were forced out of their classrooms, jobs, and social lives, returning home to live with their parents. Now many of these young adults carry the scars of the internal pandemic, with increased anxiety and depression, poor coping, and the uncertainty of how to restart their lives. Parents want to help, but the old rules of advice-giving can clash with the need to respect their child's autonomy.

In You're Not Done Yet, two leading adolescent and young adult mental health experts provide a practical and compassionate path to parents combatting the worry and frustrating isolation many feel when supporting their twentysomethings. Hibbs and Rostain explain when and how developmental markers changed, and invite parents and young adults to learn new, more effective ways of communicating with each other. Part I of the book covers the "new normal," of young adulthood, with its educational and career changes. The new normal of parent-child relationship asks us to rethink our "shoulds," and in the process develop a closer relationship based on talking and listening to understand each other, rather than "being right." Part II addresses the common and challenging problems that arise when mental illness creates a drag on a young adult's progress, and shows how parents may be engaged in their child's treatment. Packed with helpful information and step-by-step guides to specific problems, this book will be an invaluable resource for parents and their twentysomething children.

Review Quotes

"Hibbs and Rostain excel at explaining large-scale social trends, and the empathetic explorations of how parents and adult children perceive the world will help both find common ground. Not-quite-empty nesters will appreciate the guidance."--Publishers Weekly

"An indispensable guide for parents navigating the complexities of supporting their children who have just entered adulthood ... This book provides a beacon of hope for families facing the challenges of this transformative stage of life."--Shelf Awareness

"Rostain and Hibbs reference the latest research, integrated with their own professional and personal experiences, to dispense soothing assurance and solid advice for those struggling during a complicated stage of parenting ... Deeply researched ... this valuable resource offers compassionate, actionable advice for families going through a transition increasingly beset with unprecedented challenges."--Booklist

"A must-read guide for parents of grown children who are not yet adulting. Hibbs and Rostain explain what our kids are up against, and the role parents play in helping them continue to grow and ultimately thrive. This book could not be more timely, and it delivers game-changing advice that parents are yearning for."
--Julie Lythcott-Haims, author of Your Turn: How to Be An Adult and How to Raise an Adult

"A compassionate and sensitive look at the mental health challenges faced by twentysomethings in today's rapidly changing world that will help parents of people this age better understand and communicate with their kids. It's a terrific resource for parents, and their young adult children will have much to learn from it, too."
--Laurence Steinberg, Professor of Psychology and Neuroscience at Temple University and author of You and Your Adult Child: How to Grow Together in Challenging Times

Praise for The Stressed Years of Their Lives

"This is the type of book every parent should read before discussions of college even begin. " --Kirkus

"A must-read for parents, educators, and clinicians." --Patrick J. Kennedy, author of A Common Struggle, and sponsor of Paritytrack.org

"I can think of no better guide than The Stressed Years of Their Lives for overwhelmed parents and stressed-out kids for navigating these turbulent times." --Brigid Schulte, author of the New York Times bestselling Overwhelmed: Work, Love and Play when No One has the Time, Pulitzer Prize winning journalist, director of The Better Life Lab at New America

"Long-overdue and extraordinary guide." --Judith Rodin, former Provost of Yale University and President Emerita of the University of Pennsylvania

"This book is a must-read for college administrators, high school counselors, policymakers and above all, parents of students of all ages.... A truly great contribution." --Judith Warner, Washington Post bestselling author of Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety

"An engaging and accessible book full of common sense guidance and tremendous clinical wisdom." --Victor Schwartz, M.D., Chief Medical Officer at The Jed Foundation and Clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry, NYU School of Medicine

"Informative, thought-provoking and--perhaps most importantly--conversation-starting." --Alison K. Malmon, founder & executive director of Active Minds

About the Author

DR. HIBBS M.F.T., Ph.D. is dually licensed as a Psychologist and Family Therapist. Her previous books are Try to See It My Way: Being Fair in Love and Marriage, and The Stressed Years of Their Lives. She maintains a private clinical practice in Philadelphia.

ANTHONY ROSTAIN, M.D., M.A., is a nationally-recognized expert in child and adolescent psychiatry, Chair and Chief of Psychiatry and Behavioral Health at Cooper University Health Care, and Professor of Psychiatry and Pediatrics at Cooper University Medical School of Rowan University. He's the co-author of The Stressed Years of Their Lives with B. Janet Hibbs, M.F.T., Ph.D. and has co-authored two books on adults with ADHD.