All I Love and Know - by Judith Frank (Paperback)

About the Book

For years, Matthew Greene and Daniel Rosen have enjoyed a contented domestic life in Northampton, Massachusetts. But when Daniel's twin brother and sister-in-law are killed in a Jerusalem bombing, their lives are suddenly, utterly transformed.

The deceased couple has left behind two young children, and their shocked and grieving families m

Book Synopsis

Told with the storytelling power and emotional fidelity of Wally Lamb, this is a searing drama of a modern American family on the brink of dissolution, one that explores adoption, gay marriage, and love lost and found.

For years, Matthew Greene and Daniel Rosen have enjoyed a quiet domestic life together in Northampton, Massachusetts. Opposites in many ways, they have grown together and made their relationship work. But when they learn that Daniel's twin brother and sister-in-law have been killed in a bombing in Jerusalem, their lives are suddenly, utterly transformed.

In dealing with their families and the need to make a decision about who will raise the deceased couple's two children, both Matthew and Daniel are confronted with challenges that strike at the very heart of their relationship. What is Matthew's place in an extended family that does not completely accept him or the commitment he and Daniel have made? How do Daniel's questions about his identity as a Jewish man affect his life as a gay American? Tensions only intensify when they learn that the deceased parents wanted Matthew and Daniel to adopt the children--six-year-old Gal, and baby Noam.

The impact this instant new family has on Matthew, Daniel, and their relationship is subtle and heartbreaking, yet not without glimmers of hope. They must learn to reinvent and redefine their bond in profound, sometimes painful ways. What kind of parents can these two men really be? How does a family become strong enough to stay together and endure? And are there limits to honesty or commitment--or love?

From the Back Cover

For years, Matthew Greene and Daniel Rosen have enjoyed a contented domestic life in Northampton, Massachusetts. But when Daniel's twin brother and sister-in-law are killed in a Jerusalem bombing, their lives are suddenly, utterly transformed.

The deceased couple has left behind two young children, and their shocked and grieving families must decide who will raise six-year-old Gal and baby Noam. When it becomes clear that Daniel's brother and sister-in-law had wanted Matt and Daniel to be the children's guardians, the two men find themselves confronted by challenges that strike at the heart of their relationship. What is Matt's place in an extended family that does not completely accept him or the commitment he and Daniel have made? How do Daniel's complex feelings about Israel and this act of terror affect his ability to recover from his brother's death? And what kind of parents can these two men really be to children who have lost so much?

Review Quotes

"It seems quite possible the men's relationship will not survive these stresses, which Frank explores in depth and without reassuring sentimentality. . . . [It's] moving to watch them work through to reconciliation. [This is] strong storytelling driven by emotionally complex characters: first-rate commercial fiction." - Kirkus Reviews (starred review)
"[A] timeless story... beautiful, expansive, and deeply humanistic... Frank is a perfect storyteller, creating vivid landscapes and characters and events.... We have little choice in how we, or those whom we love, die. But when it comes to life, we can choose. Judith Frank shows us how." - Huffington Post
"Author Judith Frank does a masterful job of letting readers feel what the protagonists feel.... Relationships are strained all around as the would-be fathers try to mesh their former dreams with this new kind of family life. It all rings true, from the deeply psychological personal struggles and the ways children mourn, to the question of how to feel and respond to the terrorist act. This issue-packed novel repeatedly moved me." - Psychology Today
"For all of its controversy, All I Love and Know is a simple and beautiful story at its core. Such emotions as grief and love transcend lifestyles and religions. . . . It is a stunning, simple story that allows readers to ignore the intricacies of the world and focus on the quintessential core values - love and respect." - thatswhatsheread.com
"The relationship between Daniel and Matt is central to this moving story, which is told with a deep sensitivity. I am not gay, but I never doubted the love between these two young men, or the love and concern that everyone feels for the bereaved children. . . . This is a wonderful book." - Bookloons.com
"It's so good you won't want it to end. Frank writes with insight and authority... It's both an engaging read, and utterly believable. Even minor characters are fully drawn and compelling. With plenty of plot twists and characters you can root for, it is, at its heart, a good old-fashioned page-turner." - Jewish Daily Forward
"Frank delves into politics, both on the Israeli/Palestinian conflict and on gay rights. The first is handled with a deft hand, the second, with almost a sleight of hand, making the impact of this novel, which is ultimately about the resilience of love, all the more powerful." - Boston Globe
Descriptions of 'honest, lesbionic Northhampton' provide moments of comic relief throughout, enhancing the steady human warmth of this important novel. From the darkest moments to the lightest, Frank's empathy for her characters transforms front-page news into literary fiction." - Newsday
"This beautiful novel is old-fashioned in its approach . . . and yet it feels wholly fresh. . . . A compassionate, utterly compelling story of how family members, torn apart by tragedy, must reach deep within themselves to meet their greatest challenge." - Booklist (starred review)
"A powerful novel about love, loss and the will to endure after inconceivable tragedy." - BookPage
"Frank's deftly balanced tale of grief and redemption simultaneously asks how the American-Jewish left might negotiate religion and identity in the face of Israeli violence toward Palestinians, and how gay parents might raise children in a country still suspicious of them. Frank wraps these big themes around an intimate, fraught family setting; after the funeral in Israel, Daniel and Matthew return to their New England home, a 6-year-old and a baby in tow, and they're forever changed. After reading this book, one of the best of the season, you may be, too." - Out Magazine
"Brilliant, thoughtful, [and] unexpectedly funny." - Lambda Literary Review
"The book explores numerous hot button issues - gay rights, the Israel/Palestine conflict, child custody and Jewish identity - yet retains a surprising degree of humor and good will, making it an excellent and gripping read." - Western Massachusetts Jewish Ledger
"Those moments of levity are definitely welcome in a book that covers so many flashpoints. Between tackling issues like same-sex marriage, the rights of Palestinians versus those of Israelis and frank depictions of sex between two men, All I Love and Know is sure to provide plenty of fodder for book groups." - The Jewish Exponent
"All I Love and Know is notable not only for its literary craft and emotional power but for its exploration of several hot-button social and political issues including gay marriage and the Israeli/Palestine conflict." - latelastnightbooks.com
"This beautiful novel is old-fashioned in its approach, taking its sweet time to tell a tender love story between two flawed, good-hearted people, and yet it feels wholly fresh . . . Frank not only explores the complexities of the Israeli/Palestinian conflict but also presents the difficulties gay partners face in navigating the court system. Above all, though, this is a compassionate, utterly compelling story of how family members, torn apart by tragedy, must reach deep within themselves to meet their greatest challenge." - Booklist (starred review)
"Deeply moving . . . Frank shows profound empathy for her characters, making this book heartbreaking, yet jubilantly hopeful." - Publishers Weekly
"A young couple must deal with both grief and transformation when one of them becomes the guardian of an orphaned infant and a 6-year-old. The fact that the new parents of this instant family are two gay men is a secondary element of this emotional saga and that is part of the brilliance of Judith Frank's "All I Love and Know.'' ... The book is not always an easy or fast read, but a thoughtful one. Frank delves into politics, both on the Israeli/Palestinian conflict and on gay rights. The first is handled with a deft hand, the second, with almost a sleight of hand, making the impact of this novel, which is ultimately about the resilience of love, all the more powerful." - Boston Globe
"In this wonderfully rich, absorbing novel, Frank sheds light on gender and identity, the anguished politics of the Middle East, the limits of love and one family's struggle to stay intact." - People
"The considerable power of Judith Frank's second novel, "All I Love and Know," comes from two sources not always found in combination: first, the seriousness of the social issues it takes on, and second, its psychological, nearly Jamesian style. . . . Like upmarket Jodi Picoult. . . . Judith Frank even writes her gay characters beautifully - she even writes gay male sex well. Rare. . . . Descriptions of 'honest, lesbionic Northhampton' provide moments of comic relief throughout, enhancing the steady human warmth of this important novel. From the darkest moments to the lightest, Frank's empathy for her characters transforms front-page news into literary fiction." - Newsday
"This is a big American story, a tapping into the zeitgeist that few other novelists have really traveled --- taking the life of gay American couples beyond the struggle for marriage equality and giving a look at the usual challenges of any relationship." - Bookreporter.com
"A tender novel that deals with the emotional riptides left by an act of terrorism long after the headlines have faded. It is a brave, moving, and deeply compelling book, written with grace, about the ways even love and family devotion are challenged when the worst occurs." - Scott Turow, #1 New York Times bestselling author
"What a refreshing, impressive novel. That Judith Frank has managed to weave a story about queer partnership and parenting together with an exploration of the moral complexities of the Israeli/Palestinian conflict is rather stunning. This tender, intricate domestic drama both engages and informs what is arguably one of the critical issues of our time. It feels quite revolutionary, not just in the political sense, but in terms of the kind of stories we value." - Alison Bechdel, New York Times bestselling author of Fun Home
"Compelling . . . It seems quite possible the men's relationship will not survive these stresses, which Frank explores in depth and without reassuring sentimentality . . . [Frank] also excels at the social backdrops for her characters' drama, from the fraught political climate in Israel . . . to the cozy, gossipy world of gay and lesbian life in Northampton. . . . [It's] moving to watch them work through to reconciliation. [This is] strong storytelling driven by emotionally complex characters: first-rate commercial fiction." - Kirkus Reviews (starred review)
"[This is] strong storytelling driven by emotionally complex characters: first-rate commercial fiction." - Kirkus Reviews (starred review)
"A thoughtful look at how grief isolates survivors and how families may, or may not, come together in crisis." - Library Journal
"This tender, intricate domestic drama both engages and informs what is arguably one of the critical issues of our time. It feels quite revolutionary, not just in the political sense, but in terms of the kind of stories we value." - Alison Bechdel, New York Times bestselling author of Fun Home
"I Loved it! Read it non-stop. These people catch you by the heart so powerfully you can hardly believe it is a novel. I've already had to loan it to a friend." - Dorothy Allison, award-winning author of Bastard out of Carolina
"All I Love and Know is a tender novel that deals with the emotional riptides left by an act of terrorism long after the headlines have faded. It is a brave, moving, and deeply compelling book, written with grace, about the ways even love and family devotion are challenged when the worst occurs. It makes for hugely rewarding reading." - Scott Turow, #1 New York Times bestselling author