Because I Knew You - by Robert Macauley (Paperback)

About the Book

As one of the few pediatric palliative care doctors in the United States, Bob Macauley never revealed the true reason for his career choice: he didn't want anyone else to hurt the way he had when he was a kid.

Book Synopsis

As one of the few pediatric palliative care doctors in the United States, Bob Macauley was used to people saying, "I'm so glad I don't have your job." To which he would explain that palliative care is more about living than dying, then offer to share some of the inspiring stories he witnessed on a daily basis. He might mention that also being an Episcopal priest helped him console people in the hardest situations. But he never revealed the true reason for his career choice: he didn't want anyone else to hurt the way he had when he was a kid.

Review Quotes

A luminous meditation on the beauty of life, even in its most wrenching moments.

Kirkus Reviews

A huge, sincere, sprawling, delicate accomplishment.

Maggie Edson, Pulitzer Prize-winning author of Wit

A tender, raw, personal, and deeply sophisticated inquiry into life and loss.

Robin Oliveira, author of A Wild and Heavenly Place and Winter Sisters

This book is for anyone who seeks inspiration for what it means to be a loving witness to the struggle of others and how we can be transformed by such presence.

Blyth Lord, Executive Director of the Courageous Parents Network

A profound and totally engrossing exploration of the painful yet beautiful world of children facing serious illness. To their remarkable courage, Bob Macauley adds his own fascinating journey, not only as the doctor who cares for them but someone in need of healing, too.

Elisha Waldman, MD, author of This Narrow Space: A Pediatric Oncologist, His Jewish, Muslim, and Christian Patients, and a Hospital in Jerusalem

With tenderness, grace, and hard-won insight, Dr. Macauley shares with us his painful yet life-celebrating journey with terminally ill children. Amid tragedy, he insists on each patient's humanity, uncovering what they love, what they dream to be, discovering with them ways in which to fit their dreams into their brief yet abundant lives. The core of this mesmerizing and unexpectedly uplifting book is what these children teach him. Their courage, their insistence on life lived with joy, changes the good doctor who possesses a painful past, indeed heals the good doctor.

Connie May Fowler, author of Before Women had Wings and A Million Fragile Bones

By reminding us what really matters and inspiring us to make a difference when we are most needed, Because I Knew You turns grief into courage and hardship into hope.

Stephen P. Kiernan, author of Last Rights: Rescuing the end of life from the medical system and The Baker's Secret

Part memoir, part manual, Bob's beautiful book will take you all sorts of places that are otherwise very hard to get to. Go! Learn, as the author himself did, how brave, honest, wise, and generous humans can be.

BJ Miller, author of A Beginner's Guide to the End and the TED Talk "What Really Matters at the End of Life"

During his journey of professional development, Robert Macauley honestly explores his own emotional wounds, enabling us to witness how his personal healing becomes a well of compassion and source of therapeutic prowess.

Ira Byock, MD, author of The Four Things That Matter Most, Dying Well, and The Best Care Possible