Envy - by Stacy S Kim (Hardcover)

Book Synopsis

"Readers exhausted by comparison culture will find this a useful corrective."

- Publisher's Weekly

For fans of Chatter and On Our Best Behavior, a practical guide to teach you how to flip the script on envy.

Widely viewed as a negative aspect of human nature, envy can function as a powerful motivator for change and personal growth when viewed with the right lens. We all want things that other people have. It's natural, yet we are ashamed of how it makes us feel--a mix of inferiority, ill will, and injustice. From a young age, we're taught that comparison is the thief of joy. But as a first-generation Korean American, Dr. Stacy S. Kim was also raised viewing envy from a different lens--in Korea, people openly make social comparisons and express envy to better their lives.

As a social scientist and career coach, Dr. Kim spent years unpacking envy's dichotomy, realizing that by expanding our view of what it can produce, we'll ultimately be able to use it to our advantage. When we examine our envy in a more positive light, we can learn what we want, whom to emulate, and how to get it. Envy is for those of us who do everything we can to build our best life yet still find ourselves feeling behind. Thanks to social media and smartphones, we can experience this negative emotion at any hour, anywhere, and the feeling remains largely buried and unspoken. But through personal stories, interviews, and research, Dr. Kim provides concrete strategies on how to convert unexamined reckless use of envy into a guiding force and powerful motivator. You'll learn how to:

• Recognize envy as a moral emotion, and how it can highlight social injustices and mobilize groups to create a greater common good.
• Understand why you can't help but make comparisons and how to use them in a more strategic way.
• Stop feeling embarrassed about your desires and pay attention to what you truly want--not getting distracted by what you think you should want.
• Become more aware of your own potentially perfectionistic tendencies.
• Use envy to discover your life direction and build skills that challenge you.
• Deepen connections with people who matter to you, even when it can be difficult to do.
• Experience the satisfaction that comes from serving others and having an impact.

Within these pages, you'll find that you have a choice: to use envy as an outlet for negative social comparison--or as a powerful tool to transform your life and decide what matters most to you.

Review Quotes

"As sisters who grew up each thinking the other had it or did it better, we were no strangers to comparisons. Yet Stacy's candid, relatable stories made the fascinating research on envy easy and enjoyable to digest. Her book helped us see how envy not only helps you achieve, but makes life more satisfying, too."--Heela Yang, CEO and Co-Founder of Sol de Janeiro, and Hannah Yang, EVP Chief Growth and Customer Officer of The New York Times

"In Envy, Stacy Kim masterfully takes an experience familiar to us all and transforms how we think about it. Contrary to what you may have heard, she demonstrates that envy is not a "deadly sin" but a deeply human experience that can benefit us. Clearly written, cogent, and full of surprises, Envy should be required reading for anyone who has ever longed for what others possess or have achieved: all of us."--Ethan Kross, International Bestselling Author of Chatter and Shift

"What Stacy Kim understands, and what took me too long to appreciate myself, is that our darkest emotions often shed the most light. Envy makes a rigorous, wise, and compassionate case that the feeling high achievers are most ashamed to admit may offer one of the clearest signals of what they truly want."--Daniel H. Pink, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Power of Regret and Drive

A convincing argument for harnessing what's often considered a negative emotion as a tool for growth. Readers exhausted by comparison culture will find this a useful corrective.--Publisher's Weekly

About the Author

STACY S. KIM, PH.D. is social scientist and coach. She's the founder of Life Junctions LLC, with over 15 years of experience helping conscientious high achievers untangle envy and other internal blocks to navigate the complexities of life and work and knit together lives they love. She's conducted research for organizations like the Families and Work Institute, Columbia University's National Center for Children and Families, The University of Pennsylvania, and the Leo Burnett Company. Stacy has been featured in outlets like The Washington Post, The New York Times, Business Insider, and CNN.