It's Not Just You - by Victoria Matthews-Patel (Paperback)

About the Book

It's Not Just You is for people who were left confused by things that happened and things that were said within their family. This book gently guides you through a path of healing your life.

Book Synopsis

It's Not Just YouMaking sense of life and thriving after growing up in an emotionally dysfunctional family

• Are you someone who tries hard to please others?
• Are you always trying to prove your worth?
• Do you often need others to acknowledge and validate you?
• Do you look for a sense of belonging from someone or something?
• Do you continually feel responsible for the happiness of others?
• Do you struggle to ask for help?
• Do you pride yourself on being 'easy-going' while putting your needs last?
• Did you feel that something was not right within your family?
• Did you become the good or quiet child to keep the peace at home?
• Were you bullied, shamed or belittled by your family (and maybe still suffer this)?
• Do you feel anxious and deeply stressed about spending time with your family?

If so, this is your book.

It's Not Just You is for people who were left confused by things that happened and things that were said within their family. People who have spent their lives seeking the unconditional love, emotional attachment and support they needed as children.

Victoria Matthews-Patel is a survivor and thriver and has done the hard work to make sense of her life after a breakdown in 2018.

Filled with insight and compassion, this book gently guides you through a path of making sense of your life and healing with practical suggestions on speaking up, seeking help, connecting with "your" people, getting to know your nervous system, setting boundaries, and bringing self-compassion into your life.

"This is a must-read book for anyone who's at the beginning of their healing from emotional trauma, written by someone with immense insight, wisdom and compassion, who has found the route out of her complex PTSD, and wants to shine the light for others. It's packed with excellent tips and tools. I wouldn't hesitate in recommending it."

Lou Lebentz, Therapist, Trauma Specialist, EMDR Clinician,

Transformational Speaker and Founder of Trauma Thrivers

"It's Not Just You is a book filled with hope and shame reducing strategies. It is a must read for anyone looking to find their way through recovery from trauma after growing up in an emotionally dysfunctional family. It will leave readers feeling heard, seen and understood. I will be sharing this with colleagues and clients for sure."

Shari Botwin, LCSW author of Thriving After Trauma: Stories of Living and Healing

Review Quotes

"This is a must-read book for anyone who's at the beginning of their healing from emotional trauma, written by someone with immense insight, wisdom and compassion, who has found the route out of her complex PTSD, and wants to shine the light for others.

It's packed with excellent tips and tools from someone who really knows personally, the impact a lack of emotional attachment in childhood has on all aspects of life, and how to navigate successful recovery.

I wouldn't hesitate in recommending it. It's a fantastic addition to the emerging world of people starting to recognise and realise the widespread impact of trauma."

Lou Lebentz, Therapist, Trauma Specialist, EMDR Clinician, Transformational Speaker and Founder of Trauma Thrivers

"It's Not Just You is a book filled with hope and shame reducing strategies. Matthews-Patel's book is a must read for anyone looking to find their way through recovery from trauma after growing up in an emotionally dysfunctional family.

Bookstore shelves are filled with books written by clinicians on research and therapeutic tools to manage life after trauma. However, there are very few books written by life coaches who are also survivors themselves!

It's Not Just You is a guide that survivors of emotional trauma can incorporate into their therapy.

Matthews-Patel wrote a book that will leave readers feeling heard, seen and understood. I will be sharing this title with colleagues and clients for sure!"

Shari Botwin, LCSW author of

Thriving After Trauma: Stories of Living and Healing