It's Not Your Fault - by Laura K Connell (Paperback)

About the Book

We are sometimes our own worst enemies, sabotaging our success and with it our chance for lasting happiness and opportunities for personal and professional fulfillment. It's Not Your Fault helps readers uncover the subconscious reasons they hold themselves back. These blind spots were often created in childhood as coping mechanisms in response to trauma. Rather than teaching tactics that ignore or give surface attention to adverse childhood events, the book lovingly guides readers to explore the ways these events have impacted their lives and how this knowledge will help them access true transformation. Readers will be relieved to discover that it's not a lack of willpower that has held them back, but a lack of self-knowledge instead. Those who have been let down by traditional therapeutic techniques know that behavior modification doesn't work for everyone. Simply doing things differently while staying the same on the inside might help for the short term, but before long old patterns emerge. Once they decide to get serious about change, however, and stop tweaking habits in the hope it will result in lasting transformation, they can create a life by design instead of default. It takes work, an internal excavation, and Laura comes alongside the reader as a trusted guide who has been where they are now. She provides the tools and anecdotal evidence to show them how to overcome the pain of self-sabotage and create the life they desire.

Book Synopsis

A guide to help readers uncover the subconscious reasons they hold themselves back along with an exploration of the ways negative childhood experiences have impacted their lives and fed into the problem.

We are sometimes our own worst enemies, sabotaging our success and with it our chance for lasting happiness and opportunities for personal and professional fulfillment. It's Not Your Fault helps readers uncover the subconscious reasons they hold themselves back. These blind spots were often created in childhood as coping mechanisms in response to trauma. Rather than teaching tactics that ignore or give surface attention to adverse childhood events, the book lovingly guides readers to explore the ways these events have impacted their lives and how this knowledge will help them access true transformation. Readers will be relieved to discover that it's not a lack of willpower that has held them back, but a lack of self-knowledge instead.

Those who have been let down by traditional therapeutic techniques know that behavior modification doesn't work for everyone. Simply doing things differently while staying the same on the inside might help for the short term, but before long old patterns emerge. Once they decide to get serious about change, however, and stop tweaking habits in the hope it will result in lasting transformation, they can create a life by design instead of default. It takes work, an internal excavation, and Laura comes alongside the reader as a trusted guide who has been where they are now. She provides the tools and anecdotal evidence to show them how to overcome the pain of self-sabotage and create the life they desire.

Review Quotes

"An affirming, compassionate approach to forging healthy relationships and fostering resiliency."

--Emily Bowles, Library Journal

"As a childhood trauma survivor, I wish I had read this book at the beginning of my healing journey. It is a powerful resource covering all aspects of trauma and recovery and how to start healing yourself with practical tips delivered compassionately. As a trauma-informed coach, I highly recommend anyone who wants to embark on a journey of self-discovery and recovery to read this book. I'll definitely be recommending it to all my friends and clients."

--Marisa Sim, trauma-informed life coach

"Going through the pages of this book is a healing salve for anyone on a journey to find who they truly are after growing up in a dysfunctional environment. In It's Not Your Fault, Laura Connell offers a clear and innovative blueprint to help the reader dissolve the hurt that keeps them in self-abandonment, reclaim healthy love, and embody their authenticity when they no longer abide by the expectations that were projected onto them in dysfunctional dynamics."

--Xavier Dagba, transformational coach and shadow integration facilitator

"Laura Connell has written a must-read for anyone who has suffered at the hands of a toxic family system. Laura's book brings together critical elements, desperately needed for overcoming childhood shame, resulting addictions, and low self-esteem. Each chapter offers profound insights into some of the most common struggles faced by adult survivors of toxic family members."

--Dr. Sherrie Campbell, clinical psychologist and author of Adult Survivors of Toxic Family Members

"Laura's book is a treasure chest of deep wisdom, empathy, and healing. For anyone who has put their life and dreams on hold as a result of living in a dysfunctional family, this book is for you. It's Not Your Fault not only shows how to recognize and heal from trauma but also how to reconnect to life again, ignite your inner light, give strength to your inner voice, and step back into the world as the treasure you were born to be."

--Yasmin Kerkez, family relationship coach and co-founder of Family Support Resources

"There are millions of people out there who don't realize that what keeps them in the vicious cycle of self-sabotage is the impact of growing up in a dysfunctional family. It's Not Your Fault is a powerful book of knowledge and wisdom for those whose invisible childhood wounds are preventing them from living their best life. Coupling personal experience with scientific research, Laura does a beautiful job of explaining 'the problem' in an extremely digestible way. She gives the reader great hope by outlining a path to healing that is both tangible and achievable. This is a must-read for anyone who grew up in a dysfunctional family system . . . so basically everyone!"

--Andrea Ashley, host of the Adult Child podcast

"With enormous compassion and clarity, Laura has written a breathtaking guidebook on identifying and healing self-sabotage. It's Not Your Fault is a shame-lifting read that will invite you and resource you to meet yourself with the utmost care."

--Ashley Beaudin, self-sabotage and gentle business coach

About the Author

Laura K. Connell is a trauma-informed author and coach who helps her clients uncover blind spots that lead to relationship struggles and self-sabotage. She writes about healing dysfunctional family dynamics at her website laurakconnell.com. Her guest articles have further reached millions through personal development websites Life Hack, Pick the Brain, Dumb Little Man, Thought Catalog, Highly Sensitive Refuge, the anthology Chicken Soup for the Soul, and national newspapers The Globe and Mail and Toronto Star. She also hosts multi-speaker online retreats that attract over 3,600 attendees.