Healing as a Couple When You Both Have Trauma - by Aimee Daramus (Paperback)

About the Book

Among the millions of adults suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), many are in relationships with fellow trauma survivors. These couples often struggle to regulate their emotions and articulate their needs effectively, inadvertently triggering each other despite their best intentions. This groundbreaking guide teaches couples trauma-informed therapeutic skills they can practice together to cultivate a relationship built on mutual safety and trust.

Book Synopsis

A compassionate guide to achieving mutual trust, safety, and togetherness.

Trauma can negatively influence all aspects of a relationship--from emotional and physical intimacy to financial and physical health. These difficulties can manifest in a number of symptoms, including fear of rejection or abandonment, unhealthy boundaries, or an inability to accept love. Being in a relationship with a fellow trauma survivor multiplies these challenges, making it even harder to articulate and fulfill one another's needs. What you both need is a safe space to heal and build a thriving relationship--together.

In this powerful guide, a clinical psychologist and trauma expert synthesizes proven-effective therapies to bring immediate, trauma-informed relief to couples who share the collective weight of suffering. Working together, you'll develop emotion regulation skills for cultivating a relationship built on mutual safety, trust, and togetherness. As you acknowledge your commonality, you'll become more comfortable and compassionate toward each other. You'll also pick up skills to protect you both against common perils like anxiety, depression, chronic pain, and sexual dysfunction.

Learn essential skills to heal as a couple:

• Set healthy boundaries
• De-escalate when things get heated
• Feel less stigmatized
• Heal generational trauma

By understanding one another's struggles, you and your partner will gain a new perspective on your relationship, enabling you both to truly connect and begin the healing process. If you're ready to transcend your trauma and cultivate the relationship you desire, pick up this book and start your journey together.

Review Quotes

"Aimee Daramus cohesively frames strategies for becoming more interconnected and less codependent on people or vices, offering ways to navigate complex mental illness in a refreshing manner--simultaneously dropping policy and regulatory reform breadcrumbs. Get excited folks, this book will help you navigate strong trauma headwinds!"
--Stephen R. McDow II, coproducer and cohost of the Bi-Polar Girl Beyond podcast; and former US Congressional candidate

--Stephen R. McDow II

"A powerful and compassionate book for couples navigating shared trauma. With insight and sensitivity, it explores the path to healing while addressing key challenges like emotional triggers, sexuality, and parenting. Grounded in relatable, real-life experiences and therapeutic wisdom, it offers hope, tools, and connection for partners seeking to grow stronger together and implement healthy boundaries."
--Arthur Avalos, MA, LCPC, NCC, psychotherapist, and author of Something Happened

--Arthur Avalos, MA, LCPC, NCC

"Aimee Daramas takes a warm and practical approach to helping couples who have both experienced traumas. If you have been looking for information and support, but have been afraid of feeling judged, start with this book. It with will help you feel understood and give you a direction to move forward for yourself and as a couple."
--Lauren Steinhart, CPsych, clinical psychologist

--Lauren Steinhart, CPsych

"As a clinical psychologist who works with couples, first responders, and students, I highly recommend this book. Aimee Daramas does a great job providing an understanding of trauma and the importance of relationships in the healing process. In addition, the tools provided with step-by-step instructions and examples make it easy to understand and apply. This, along with her incorporating diversity within relationships, will help couples work and heal together."
--S. Patch Laksanaprom, PsyD, MAPP, CCTP, founder and president of Laks International Wellness, Inc

--S. Patch Laksanaprom, PsyD, MAPP, CCTP

"If you love a trauma survivor, then this book is a must-read. Aimee Daramas explains how personal reactions to trauma can create miscommunication that may result in hurt feelings and misunderstandings. She shares independent and supportive coping techniques that feel realistic to try. This book gives couples hope that they can learn to thrive, together, rather than surviving trauma alone."
--Sneha Raj, PsyD, LP, clinical psychologist, and owner of Vikas Psychology LLC

--Sneha Raj, PsyD, LP

"The uniqueness of Aimee Daramus's book--in focusing on when both individuals in a relationship have trauma, how it changes the relationship (and family unit), and understanding if it is healthy or not--will bring such insight to couples. The strategies and interventions given will help improve communication and support. This book will help empower couples to have healthier relationships despite the traumas they have faced."
--Catherine Grosberg, PsyD, clinical psychologist, and adjunct professor at City Colleges of Chicago

--Catherine Grosberg, PsyD

"This book is a compassionate, practical guide for couples navigating trauma together. It fills a crucial gap by focusing on mutual healing--offering tools for communication, coping, and connection. With chapters on attachment, sexuality, family dynamics, and crisis support, it's ideal for partners who want to grow stronger together. Grounded, inclusive, and realistic--highly recommended for trauma-informed relationships."
--Aaron Karmin, LCPC, owner of Karmin Counseling, and author of The Anger Management Workbook for Men and Instant Anger Management

--Aaron Karmin, LCPC

About the Author

Aimee Daramus, PsyD, has been a licensed clinical psychologist in Chicago, IL, for almost ten years. She has worked with people who have trauma and chronic mental illness for more than twenty years in psychiatric facilities, day programs, and private practice. She is author of Understanding Bipolar Disorder, and cohost of the Bi-Polar Girl Beyond podcast.

Foreword writer Sherrie D. All, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist who is passionate about empowering people to use their brains brilliantly to live better and love better. A trained neuropsychologist, she is owner and director of the Chicago Center for Cognitive Wellness.