She's Not the Man I Married - by Helen Boyd (Paperback)

About the Book

Helen Boyd's husband, who had long been open about being a cross-dresser, was considering living as a woman full time. Suddenly, Boyd was confronted with the reality of what it would mean if her husband were actually to become a woman -- socially, legally, and medically. Would Boyd love and desire her partner the same way?
Boyd's first book, "My Husband Betty, " explored the relationships of cross-dressing men and their partners. Now, "She's Not the Man I Married" is both a sequel and a more expansive examination of gender in relationships. It's for couples who are homosexual or heterosexual, and for readers who fall anywhere along the gender continuum.
As Boyd struggles to understand the nature of marriage, passion, and love, she shares her confusion and anger, providing a fascinating observation of the ways in which relationships are gendered, and how we cope, or don't, with the emotional and sexual pressures that gender roles can bring to our marriages and relationships.

Book Synopsis

Helen Boyd's husband, who had long been open about being a cross-dresser, was considering living as a woman full time. Suddenly, Boyd was confronted with the reality of what it would mean if her husband were actually to become a woman socially, legally, and medically. Would Boyd love and desire her partner the same way?

Boyd's first book, My Husband Betty, explored the relationships of cross-dressing men and their partners. Now, She's Not the Man I Married is both a sequel and a more expansive examination of gender in relationships. It's for couples who are homosexual or heterosexual, and for readers who fall anywhere along the gender continuum. As Boyd struggles to understand the nature of marriage, passion, and love, she shares her confusion and anger, providing a fascinating observation of the ways in which relationships are gendered, and how we cope, or don't, with the emotional and sexual pressures that gender roles can bring to our marriages and relationships.

Review Quotes

"A straight woman who has been married several years to a crossdressing man gives a thoughtful account of their relationship (as well as the relationships of other crossdressers she knows) in this forthright and revelatory book.... Honest and well researched, this book is likely to become an indispensable guide."

"Boyd discusses with humor and candor ways to come to terms with crossdressing, focusing on issues of identity, trust, and sexuality... this will undoubtedly have a wider appeal to those curious about this subculture. Recommended for public and academic libraries."

"Boyd never expected to write about transvestites and their partners, yet here is her fascinating account of marriage to a crossdresser.... Boyd's skill as a writer enables readers to enter a relatively hidden existence easily, and perhaps even to appreciate its complexities. Her account, though initially disquieting to some, may well become a standard text in gender studies."

"I'd consider My Husband Betty essential reading, but even for the educated and seasoned, it is an amazing resource that delves deep into the issues-cultural, political, sexual, historical, psychological-facing crossdressers, their partners, and the various communities they intersect... the work simultaneously transcends crossdressing altogether. It becomes a blueprint for nontraditional relationships: how to communicate honestly about needs and desires, let go of white-picket-fence dreams, and move beyond them to something real." -- Tristan Taormino

About the Author

Helen Boyd is the author of My Husband Betty, which was a finalist for a Lambda Literary Award. Her blog, (en)gender, is a journal of gender and trans topics that is widely read by people interested in queer, trans, and gender issues and politics. She lives with her partner, Betty, in Brooklyn.