The Ugly Underneath - by Carlos Rodriguez (Paperback)

About the Book

Hunting predators comes with many costs.

Book Synopsis

Hunting predators comes with many costs.

The Ugly Underneath is a stirring and honest firsthand account of the world of crimes against children and one man's dedication to fighting it. Shedding light on the emotional and psychological toll that investigating the horrible acts that occur just beneath the surface of our communities inflicts, author Carlos Rodriguez takes you through the development of his career in the Washington State Patrol and behind the scenes of several investigative operations to capture child sex offenders during his time as the leader of the Missing and Exploited Children Task Force.

To navigate the daily stress, Rodriguez learned to compartmentalize trauma into mental "boxes"-a coping mechanism he unknowingly developed long before his law enforcement career. And while it allowed him to endure through his work, the act of storing away that suffering exacted its own toll on his personal life. Through anecdotes of resilience, mistakes, and growth, he explores how carrying pain shaped him and what it meant to finally begin unpacking it.

Melding personal stories, true crime narratives, and exposés on the many difficulties that law enforcement officers face, Rodriguez shares his compelling experiences with resolute honesty and lightening moments of humor. This book offers a raw perspective on enduring the unimaginable and learning to live beyond it.

Review Quotes

"Absolutely incredible! I laughed, I cried, and I could not put it down. Carlos invites readers into a world few dare to talk about, yet he does so with such honesty and warmth that you connect with him both as a father and a son and a leader. This book is a powerful reminder of how often we box up our emotions-and how healing begins when we learn to unpack them."

-Rebecca Bender, survivor, leader, and founder of Elevate Academy

"Carlos's vulnerability in sharing the realities of this work is powerful. Too often, those of us in helping professions carry these experiences silently. The Ugly Underneath breaks that silence, reminding us there is nothing wrong with being impacted by the work; it means we care. His stories give both grace and preparation for those walking into this space. This book is a gift to the profession."

-Melissa Kaiser, international expert consultant on human trafficking and vicarious trauma

"The Ugly Underneath is raw, brave, and profoundly human. Carlos Rodriguez writes with the kind of honesty that only comes from walking through both darkness and grace. His story shines a light on the unseen toll of protecting children-and the quiet redemption that comes when compassion refuses to quit. As someone who shares this calling, I see in Carlos a fellow warrior of light whose courage reminds us that love, when lived out, is the truest form of faith.

-Jessica R. Muñoz, MSN, APRN-RX, FNP-BC, founder of Ho'ōla Nā Pua and Pearl Haven

"Carlos offers a rare and deeply personal insight into the career of a Washington State Police officer, detailing his journey from a non-commissioned officer trainee to a specialist investigator in the harrowing field of internet sexual crimes against children.

His candid accounts reveal the profound personal impact of exposure to child sexual abuse material (CSAM) and the challenges of investigating these unimaginable crimes. While some of his graphic descriptions may be difficult to read, especially for those unfamiliar with such investigations, this book provides a fascinating and eye-opening read.

The personal toll of this work is poignantly captured, making it a compelling read for anyone interested in the realities of law enforcement and child protection."

-Dr. Joe Sullivan, director, Forensic Solutions