Thriving in a Relationship When You Have Chronic Illness - by Lisa Gray (Paperback)

About the Book

Chronic illness can affect every single aspect of a person's life, including romantic relationships. Grounded in evidence-based acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), this grief-informed guide shows readers--and their partners--how to navigate the challenges of a chronic illness diagnosis, communicate effectively, and strengthen their bond at each stage of the journey for a lasting and healthy relationship.

Book Synopsis

A grief-informed guide to help you and your romantic partner stay connected--despite the challenges of chronic illness.

You're living your happily-ever-after with your partner and suddenly--you get sick. What now? Chronic illness can have a devastating impact on your life--especially when it comes to your romantic relationship. You may be so focused on your health, that you often have to put your relationship second. You might feel guilty that you can't do the things you used to do together. And you may even worry that you are a burden to your partner. So, how can you come to terms with your own chronic illness, and nurture your relationship at the same time?

Grounded in evidence-based acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), this grief-informed guide offers powerful skills to help you and your partner adjust to a chronic illness diagnosis, communicate effectively, and protect your bond at each stage of the journey for a lasting and healthy relationship. You'll learn positive coping strategies to help you manage difficult emotions such as anger, sadness, and grief; promote intimacy and understanding between you and your partner; and identify what it is that truly matters to each of you--so you can move forward in your lives with your values closely aligned.

Chronic illness is now a part of your life--but it doesn't have to define your life, or your relationship. Once you've healed from the initial shock and trauma of a diagnosis, you will need to build lasting coping skills to navigate life with your partner. This evidence-based guide can help you, each step of the way.

Review Quotes

"Thriving in a Relationship When You Have Chronic Illness is a compassionate, practical guide that brings clarity, empathy, and hope to a deeply challenging experience. Lisa Gray beautifully weaves 'well partner' and 'sick partner' perspectives with mindful, actionable tools. A must-read for anyone navigating love in the context of illness."
--Shayna Kaufmann, PhD, psychologist, mindfulness teacher, and author of Embrace theMiddle

--Shayna Kaufmann, PhD

"For those suffering from chronic illnesses and their partners, Lisa Gray has assembled a lovely and wise book using the principles of acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) to help couples navigate strains and struggles with care and appreciation for one another. The exercises and vignettes within are clear and well organized, and readers will discover Lisa's voice to be one of warmth and compassion emerging from her own personal experiences with chronic illness and her clinical expertise."
--Scott Spradlin, LPC, LMAC, author of Don't Let Your Emotions Run Your Life, and codirector of Wichita DBT at NorthStar Therapy

--Scott Spradlin, LPC, LMAC

"This book doesn't shy away from the challenges that health issues bring to an intimate relationship, but it doesn't surrender to them either. With deep compassion and clarity, Lisa Gray shows how--with courage, care, and the right support--couples can not only stay connected but use these challenges as a pathway to deeper emotional intimacy."
--Mali Apple and Joe Dunn, authors of The Soulmate Experience and Wild Monogamy

--Mali Apple and Joe Dunn

"This book is a lifeline for couples facing chronic illness--one I wish I'd had when I went through it myself. It's a must-read, filled with hope and compassion, for the millions navigating a medical merry-go-round."
--Dana Parish, coauthor of Chronic

--Dana Parish

About the Author

Lisa Gray, LMFT, is a licensed mental health professional with a private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area, where she specializes in high-conflict couples and chronic illness/pain. After working as an air traffic controller for ten years, and serving as a peer-debriefing counselor for fellow controllers, Gray decided to go back to school to study counseling. She graduated from John F. Kennedy University in 2004 with a master's degree in clinical counseling, and has been working in the field ever since. Gray is passionate about teaching couples to practice healthy conflict, so that their relationships can thrive and grow. Gray reviews self-help books on her Instagram, Therapy Book Nook. She lives in the Bay Area with her family and three large dogs.

Foreword writer Cynthia Li, MD, graduated from The University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center, and has practiced internal medicine in settings as diverse as Kaiser Permanente Medical Center, San Francisco General Hospital, and St. Anthony's Medical Clinic for the homeless. She currently serves on the faculty of the Healer's Art program at the UCSF School of Medicine, and has a private practice in integrative and functional medicine. She lives in Berkeley, CA, with her husband and their two daughters. She is author of Brave New Medicine.