When Doing It All Is Undoing You - by Alyssa Joy Bethke (Hardcover)

About the Book

"Women are worn out. Exhausted. Disappointed and disheartened. Tired of trying so hard to keep it all together, of managing circumstances to keep everyone happy, of doing all the right things so that things will turn out the way we want them to or think they should. No matter how hard we try, there are so many things we can't control, and in trying to do it all, we're left fragmented and frazzled. But what if it's not about what we do or can't do? What if it's about who we are becoming as we walk through life's realities? In When Doing It All is Undoing You, Alyssa Bethke examines how women so often believe we can manage outcomes and do all the right things to make our lives go well, and how challenging it can be when we realize that we can't control how things turn out. She helps readers understand the difference between the things that are ours to do and the things that are out of our control, and she examines how our striving for approval, balance, happiness, and lofty ideals so often masks fear. She acknowledges that even when we do all the right things, the outcome we hope for is not guaranteed, and addresses the disappointment so many of us feel when the life we have looks nothing like the life we envisioned. Ultimately, Alyssa shows readers that turning away from trying to manage it all and turning towards the God who is after our hearts will actually bring the hope and fulfillment we're all longing for. By drawing near to God, we can learn to hear His voice, find freedom and hope in our deep disappointments, and become the women that He created us to be- free, full, and faithful"--

Book Synopsis

What do we do with our unmet expectations? When life has not turned out the way we imagined?

Feeling fragmented and frazzled, many women today are caught in a vicious cycle trying to do too much, hold everything together, manage and control their circumstances, and avoid mistakes at all costs.

But no matter how hard we try, there are many things outside of our control. In trying to do it all, we are undone ourselves.

What if we could shift our perspective so that, instead of spinning our wheels wasting energy manufacturing and controlling our lives, we aim to let go and lean into who we are becoming?

In When Doing It All is Undoing You, Alyssa Bethke helps readers understand the difference between what is in and what is out of our control, and she examines how our striving for approval, balance, happiness, and lofty ideals often masks underlying fear and disappointment. She acknowledges that even when we do all the right things, the outcome we hope for is not guaranteed, and addresses the disillusionment so many of us feel when the life we have looks nothing like the life we envisioned.

Ultimately, Alyssa shows readers that turning towards the God who is after our authentic hearts is the only guarantee of a life of hope and fulfillment, the life we're all longing for. By drawing near to God as the primary source of our joy and contentment, we can learn to hear His voice, find freedom and hope in our deep disappointments, and become the women that He created us to be- free, full, and faithful.

Review Quotes

"I joined the throngs of people doing more than what I was made to do. Alyssa has words beyond her years for those of us who want to find the peace offering of God within a culture that tells us we need to do everything. This book is your antidote to the chaos of life. It is a cup of water for the weary soul." --Sara Hagerty, bestselling author of Unseen, The Gift of Limitations and Every Bitter Thing is Sweet

"Alyssa has written a beautiful book that I am sure will resonate deeply with the hearts of so many women. We are all looking to deal with the anxiety in our life and culture but so many people are looking for quick fixes and worldly solutions. Alyssa gets below the surface and summons us to our deep connection with God and roots us in a resilient vision of life and joy with God. I cannot wait to see the beautiful fruit that comes from this book."--Jon Tyson, Pastor and Author, Church of the City of New York, and author of The Intentional Father

"Alyssa Bethke has written a book that is a siren's song for so many of us- calling us all to a reality that is hard to face but important to name and then giving us the peaceful and powerful way out of the rhythms we have each embraced that do not serve us in health or joy. This book is a necessary read for every woman wondering when it will get easier and if that is even possible. Thank God for the words of this book reminding us of what is possible with God."--Annie F. Downs, New York Times Bestselling Author of That Sounds Fun

"If you long to be more present and at peace but your dreams and to-do lists tell you that you are the one holding all things together, this book will revive your heart and bring the relief you long for. This book ultimately empowers us to trust God with all that He has entrusted to us! What a gift this book is."--Jeannie Cunnion, bestselling author of Don't Miss Out

"In When Doing It All is Undoing You you will experience a depth of theology that is accessible and livable. Maybe my favorite part of the book are the practical 'spiritual practices' found at the end of each chapter to take the theological principles you've learned from contemplation to cultivation through embodied practice. This is one of those books that you will find returning to routinely, because Alyssa keeps pointing us to one who can truly grant our souls rest - Jesus."--Joel Muddamalle, PhD, Director of Theology and Research at Proverbs 31 Ministries and Author of The Hidden Peace: Finding True Security, Strength, and Confidence Through Humility

"Typically you have to choose between biblical, vulnerable, and practical -- but Alyssa's voice is a rare combination of all three. In this book she issues an invitation on the Father's behalf into deeper rest and durable joy, comes alongside those willing to accept that invitation, and walks them home into fullness of heart. I believe freedom and healing are waiting for all who embark on the journey with her."--Dr. Brian McCormack, Executive Director of Breakaway at Texas A&M University

"What do you really want? It's a fair question, and in When Doing it All..., Alyssa Bethke invites us to let go of what we were never meant to hold/fix/control so that God can satisfy our deepest dreams and desires. This book is a "divine glow-up" for the worn-out and weary; keep a copy in your purse and a box in your car because you're going to want to give it to all of your friends!"--Jodie Berndt, bestselling author of Praying the Scriptures for Your Children

About the Author

Alyssa Joy Bethke loves Jesus, matcha, and the sun, and squeezes as much pickleball and reading into her week as possible. She is married to Jeff, the love of her life, and is mom to three of the greatest gifts: Kinsley, Kannon, and Lucy. The Bethke family recently moved from Maui to Tennessee and are embracing the wild adventure of a life surrendered to God. Alyssa and Jeff help reclaim God's design for men, women, and families at Forming Men, Forming Women and Family Teams.