How to Lose Friends and Influence No One - by Mary Giuliani (Paperback)

Book Synopsis

What happens when a celebrated "caterer to the stars" (and incessant people pleaser) begins to REALLY ponder "what's it all about?" Mary Giuliani deconstructs her ever-evolving existential internal conversation in this new collection of essays, beginning when all the world (and all the stars) are ordered to stay home. Armed with an arsenal of pigs in a blanket and what felt like all the vodka in Manhattan, Mary begins her deep look into what it's finally like to get what she thought she always wanted: peace. Never one to hold much back, Mary invites the reader on this journey as she reexamines life when the proverbial party appears to be over. With space and time to finally stop and take stock of "how did I get here?" Mary shares stories about the businesses she built, the relationships she endured and nurtured, the chronic illness she avoided and the stars with whom she's smoked. We laugh, cry and stumble with Mary as she makes some poignant and hilarious revelations while awaiting for her beloved New York City to rise from its slumber. But will Mary (or New York City) ever be the same? Is the party over or just a new beginning?"

Review Quotes

How to Lose Friends and Influence No One is another fabulous collection of short stories from the brilliance that is Mary Giuliani. Her storytelling has the perfect alchemy of humor, soul, and depth. This creative is pure magic. You will not be able to put it down! Note: I am absolutely ready for all of Mary's stories to be turned into films. Oh, and I love her.--Mindy Cohn, actor

Mary Giuliani is an absolutely charming and beguiling writer. She's a regular Perils-of-Pauline character, except she is the one tying herself to the train tracks of self-created folly. In the end, she always saves the day with her humor and her kindly heart, and the happy reader of these essays, so beautifully written, will come away with the feeling, despite what the title might say, that they've made a new friend, a wonderful friend. --Jonathan Ames, The Wheel of Doll

A funny, and witty memoir that celebrates pop culture, parties, and pigs in a blanket. Mary muses about iconic TV stars of yesteryear who influenced (or who inadvertently raised) her, like Pinky Tuscadero, The Fonz, Jo from Facts of Life, Jack, Chrissy, Janet, Laverne, and Shirley. She has catered for and rubbed elbows with celebrities and racked up hilariously delicious anecdotes while on the job. Behind all the showbiz and passed hors d'oeuvres is a charming and graceful story about how Mary makes sense of life, survives, and keeps the party going no matter what. That's Showbiz.--Murray Hill, Comedian, entertainer, actor

Mary Giuliani is a brilliant storyteller. Following as she finds herself in crazy situations, I found myself laughing and inspired by her pluck, humility, and resilience.--Dana Cowin, founder, Speaking Broadly and former Editor in Chief of Food & Wine

Mary Giuliani is a friend I never want to lose, and you won't either after reading this hilarious, touching and deeply personal essay collection.--Rachael Ray

Mary Giuliani is an inveterate people pleaser, a wonderful caterer, and an even better raconteur and storyteller. This memoir of bumbling happily upward through the travails of big city parenting, family life, and career might be her meatiest, most delightful creation yet.--Adam Platt, New York Magazine

Mary Giuliani is funny the way your best friend is funny: just neurotic enough to be hilarious (never annoying); every late-night text a marvelous conspiracy. Her essays are like that too, skating right up to the edge of impropriety while always letting you in on a delicious little secret.--Jonathan Van Meter

Mary Giuliani's new essay collection is wise, witty, warm and wonderful.--Harlan Coben

"'Tiny Hot Dogs: A Memoir in Small Bites' is told with genuine humor and storytelling reminiscent of Nora Ephron....offers the kind of moments that make readers smile, laugh, and most of all, remember what it's like trying to make your way in the world."―Sweet Paul

"Giuliani has chutzpah to spare in these life-filled, rib-sticking (and-tickling) stories."―Booklist


"What makes 'Tiny Hot Dogs' a fun read is her down-to-earth, pinch-me mindset as she brushes shoulders with the rich and famous while feeding them her beloved pigs in a blanket, aka Tiny Hot Dogs."―The Atlanta Journal-Constitution


"Giuliani (The Cocktail Party) hilariously recounts her evolution from a girl with 'one eyebrow' in a Long Island household that 'couldn't be more Italian if we tried' into a successful caterer to the stars who appears on television with Rachael Ray and Ina Garten.... Giuliani's entertaining memoir is packed with satisfying stories and recipes that readers will guiltily enjoy."―Publishers Weekly

"Mary Giuliani is not a name: it is a promise. Like a guarantee on the box, her name attached to an event, a book, a menu, a meal, is a golden ticket to good times. Mary makes me smile, laugh, cry happy tears, and she always leaves me hungry for more of her wisdom, her humor, and her stories. I raise my glass in a toast to the hostess with the mostest to celebrate this, her most personal, touching, and delicious work yet!"―-Rachael Ray


"No one tells a story like Mary Giuliani and she does it with great recipes, too! To read her deeply personal memoir is to feel that you've connected with a dear friend who's thoughtful, funny, and truly unique. I love this book!"―-Ina Garten