I Never Do This - by Anesa Miller (Paperback)

Book Synopsis

MEET THE UNFORGETTABLE YOUNG WOMAN, LaDene Faye Howell, who finds herself in police custody recounting her story after her paroled cousin Bobbie Frank appears and engages her in a crime spree.

LaDene Faye Howell has spent her life in the small town of Devola, on an oxbow of the Muskingum River, in southeast Ohio. Her family is conservative and deeply religious, although another branch of the Howell clan are notorious criminals. When one of her outlaw relatives returns from prison, LaDene hopes the two of them may share an evening of fun, or even a spark of romance. Instead, Bobby Frank embroils her in kidnapping their old high school principal.

Taken into custody, LaDene recounts her misadventures in the form of a dramatic monologue. Pledging to "tell all in full truth so help me God," she hopes to keep herself out of jail and perhaps even soften Bobby's likely sentence. She also aims to capture her listeners' sympathy by recounting a secret from her past that she has never shared before.

Told with country noir flair, the heart of the story is LaDene's struggle to live as her own person while remaining true to her heritage and family loyalties.

Review Quotes

"Narrated with a noirish sensibility, the novel follows a 27-year-old woman named LaDene Faye Howell as she recounts the tale of how and why she's currently in police custody. LaDene's narration is full of personality and flair. Miller has crafted a compelling cast of characters, from LaDene's churchgoing family to her fellow pregnant classmates at New Dawn Ministry to the overbearing faculty who ruthlessly rule the school. Even the humorous description of the crimes she committed with Bobby is rendered in engaging detail. Everyone from casual readers to the staunchest of mystery fans will find something to enjoy in this quick--and quick-witted--read." --Kirkus Reviews

"Loved it. Miller has written a masterful novel, inhabited by a voice so fearless and compassionate, urgent and heartland-true, that its music and message stay with you long, long after the final page. Indeed, I Never Do This is one of those rare books that makes you want to read it all over again, so compelling and beautifully limned are the characters." --Brandon R. Schrand, author of The Enders Hotel, Works Cited, and Psychiana Man

"Haunting. Feels like an ultra-personal conversation. Grabs you immediately and refuses to let go." --Peter Edwards, The Toronto Star, co-author of The Wolfpack: The Millennial Mobsters who Brought Chaos and the Cartels to the Canadian Underworld, with Luis Horacio Najera

"I'm blown away by Anesa Miller's beautiful writing. She's definitely a master storyteller! Miller leads the reader so deftly down the trail of her protagonist's past that I became consumed by this mesmerizing story. I loved the book." --Kathy Wollenberg, author of Far Less

"LaDene's voice propels us as she recounts her life of family dysfunction, religious fundamentalism, abuse, and how we can't escape the darker impulses of family even when we think we've broken from them. As her story unfolds, we witness how fast a person's life can unravel from a chance encounter. What I love is that the book starts with the confession of a crime, and suspense lies in how the heroine ended up there. For me, this makes it more compelling than the classic mystery or thriller. This suspense holds us to the end we thought we saw coming, but didn't." --Jerry D. Mathes II, author of Shipwrecks and Other Stories and Ahead of the Flaming Front: A Life on Fire

"LaDene Howell, the vibrant, colorful narrator of Anesa Miller's marvelous novel, I Never Do This, has not lived an easy life. She is a survivor, thick-skinned, full of pain, yet soldiers on. Raised in a harsh, religious family, she is sent away as a teenager when an unintended pregnancy is seen as both something to be punished for and a chance at redemption. After giving her child up for adoption, she earns her GED and then a nursing credential. She supports herself, lives her life, harms no one, and is harmed by no one. That is, until her cousin, Bobby Frank, pays her a visit. Bobby has addiction issues and is full of simmering rage. His presence loosens something in LaDene, and she opens up to him. What starts out as a harmless afternoon spent outdoors and having a few drinks turns sinister when Bobby spots someone from their past and decides a long-overdue confrontation is in order. Set in Ohio and Missouri, America's Midwest comes alive in Miller's pages. Coupled with LaDene's path from child to woman to criminal, I Never Do This is a first-rate novel from an insightful and talented author." --Anne Leigh Parrish, author of A Summer Morning

"Anesa Miller's I Never Do This is a gritty novel with a gritty young heroine who must find a way to save herself from those who would save her from herself. I read it in one sitting." --Mary Clearman Blew, author of Think of Horses