Narcissistic Abuse - by Vanessa M Reiser (Paperback)

About the Book

"Gaslighting. Love bombing. Hoovering. Triangulating. These are all insidious weapons in the narcissist's toolkit. Narcissism can be hard to diagnose, but it is one of the hallmarks of abusive relationships. As a therapist specializing in narcissism and domestic abuse, Vanessa Reiser has strategies to help victims to identify, understand, and heal from abusive relationships. With a blend of information, education, and stories, Reiser defines what narcissistic abuse is, breaks down how it's a form of domestic violence and how narcissists think and operate, uncovering their mindset and motivations, so readers can spot a narcissist more accurately, avoid toxic relationships, escape dangerous situations, and heal from mental, emotional and/or physical trauma. Readers will learn how to: Identify dangerous behaviors and warning signs of narcissistic abuse; Create an exit strategy to safely escape from an abuser; Heal from the psychological damage and trauma. Explaining narcissistic personality disorder, clarifying common misconceptions about narcissism, and detailing how narcissism works on a spectrum of benign to malignant, Narcissistic Abuse gives readers a clear picture of what narcissistic abuse entails, using specific situations and examples to show how narcissistic traits translate into real-life behaviors. Reiser describes the five stages of narcissistic abuse (luring, love bombing, mask slipping, discarding, and the smear campaign) and lists common stages and emotions that come after the relationship with a narcissist has been severed (including devastation, confusion, sadness, anger, understanding, and healing). With practical tools and a warm, empathetic tone, Narcissistic Abuse provides a clear path for readers to break the cycle and find a path back to themselves"--

Book Synopsis

Licensed therapist and narcissism expert Vanessa M. Reiser offers a guide to identifying narcissistic abuse, especially in interpersonal relationships, sharing practical strategies for healing.

Gaslighting. Love bombing. Hoovering. Triangulating. These are all insidious weapons in the narcissist's toolkit. Narcissism can be hard to diagnose, but it is one of the hallmarks of abusive relationships. As a therapist specializing in narcissism and domestic abuse, Vanessa M. Reiser has strategies to help victims to identify, understand, and heal from abusive relationships. With a blend of information, education, and stories, Reiser defines what narcissistic abuse is, breaks down how it's a form of domestic violence and how narcissists think and operate, uncovering their mindset and motivations, so readers can spot a narcissist more accurately, avoid toxic relationships, escape dangerous situations, and heal from mental, emotional and/or physical trauma. Readers will learn how to:

• Identify dangerous behaviors and warning signs of narcissistic abuse
• Create an exit strategy to safely escape from an abuser
• Heal from the psychological damage and trauma.

Explaining narcissistic personality disorder, clarifying common misconceptions about narcissism, and detailing how narcissism works on a spectrum of benign to malignant, Narcissistic Abuse gives readers a clear picture of what narcissistic abuse entails, using specific situations and examples to show how narcissistic traits translate into real-life behaviors. Reiser describes the five stages of narcissistic abuse (luring, love bombing, mask slipping, discarding, and the smear campaign) and lists common stages and emotions that come after the relationship with a narcissist has been severed (including devastation, confusion, sadness, anger, understanding, and healing). With practical tools and a warm, empathetic tone, Narcissistic Abuse provides a clear path for readers to break the cycle and find a path back to themselves.

Review Quotes

"Being in a narcissistic relationship can leave you feeling helpless, confused, isolated, and shameful. It can be extremely difficult to make sense of what is happening to you, making it difficult to leave. Vanessa M. Reiser breaks down these patterns in a comprehensive yet extremely empathetic way, making the reader feel seen without judgement. No matter where you may be in your healing journey, no matter what type of relationship you are in, Vanessa's book offers survivors compassion, direction, and a sense of empowerment to reclaim their sense of self."

--Dr. Jaime Zuckerman, licensed clinical psychologist, author and narcissistic abuse expert

"Most books on narcissistic abuse just talk about the narcissist's behaviors and the red flags, but this one is different. Vanessa M. Reiser (Joan of Narc) looks at the bigger picture of mind control, using real-world cult examples to explain her points. She shares relatable stories about how narcissists manipulate any relationship, whether it's just two people, a small group, or even hundreds. It's the same pattern at every scale!"

--Mark Vicente, author, speaker, and award-winning writer/director/producer

"Vanessa M. Reiser is one of the most authentic, compassionate, and skilled clinicians I know in the mental health field. Her insights regarding narcissistic abuse and cult abuse are spot-on, not only because has she experienced it first-hand, but because of the thousands of hours she's spend working with clients who have also experienced trauma at the hands of a narcissist/cult-leader. She fuses the concepts of narcissistic abuse and cult abuse in a way that helps you deconstruct the concepts of mind-control and manipulation in the most clarifying way."

--Debra Newell, New York Times bestselling author of Surviving Dirty John

"Vanessa M. Reiser's book on narcissistic abuse offers a truly unique perspective on the complex and often misunderstood topic of narcissistic mind control. By drawing parallels between narcissistic relationships and cult dynamics, the author provides readers with a fresh and intriguing lens through which to view manipulative behaviors and mind-control tactics. Vanessa's clinical understanding and ground-breaking insights make this book a must-have for your reading list."

--Dr. Nadine Macaluso, trauma bond and complex trauma expert, psychotherapist, and author

"If you feel like you are treading water and cannot seem to find your footing, Vanessa M. Reiser provides hope, knowledge, validation and a true clinical understanding so that you can become free from the vortex of cognitive dissonance and confusion that the narcissist purposefully spins you and entraps you in. She understands the family court system and ways to protect yourself. Her insights are authentic, well-studied, documented and corroborated not just because she has experienced it, herself, but because she has made it her life's work to shine a light on pathological behaviors to help people not only recover but identify behaviors of abusers on a micro and macro scale so that future generations can also be insulated from dangerous people."--Tina Swithin, author of Divorcing a Narcissist, founder of One Mom's Battle and advocate for family court reform

"Vanessa M. Reiser's book is not only vital for anyone seeking to understand the dynamics of abuse endured, but ideally it ought to be required reading for young people--or anyone at all--so that this kind of abuse may be prevented. Vanessa's warmth and wisdom shine through in the way she breaks down this complicated subject in a useful and relatable way."--Sarma Melngailis, author and businesswoman

Narcissistic Abuse: A Therapist's Guide To Identifying, Escaping, and Healing from Toxic and Manipulative People is a validating and compassionate reference which provides clinicians and survivors with the vocabulary for what happens in these relationships, and tools to manage what can feel like a hopeless situation. Vanessa Reiser clearly points out the parallels between narcissistic relational behaviors, domestic abuse, and cultic systems, and provides all readers with comprehensive and accessible tools to cope, heal, and safely disengage from invalidating and manipulative relationships.
--Dr. Ramani Durvasula, Clinical Psychologist, Professor Emerita of Psychology, California State University Los Angeles, and New York Times and International Bestselling Author of It's Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People

"This book covers everything from the phases of narcissistic abuse to ways to break the trauma bond and heal. Vanessa provides education on how to disallow victim blaming and the differences between shame and guilt. Her approach is evidence based, clinical and integrated with a no-nonsense approach. All survivors need to feel empowered and most importantly heard."

--Gretchen Carlson, Journalist, Co-Founder Lift Our Voices, Female Empowerment Advocate and Best-Selling Author

About the Author

Vanessa M. Reiser is a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW), licensed in New York, New Jersey, Massachusetts, and Florida. She is a psychotherapist and the founder of Tell a Therapist, LLC as well as the founder of the nonprofit, Tell a Therapist, INC. Vanessa holds a bachelor's degree in political science from SUNY Empire State college and a Master of Social Work (MSM) from the University of Southern California. Vanessa specializes in narcissistic personality disorder, and her practice focuses on treating victims and survivors of cults, narcissists, domestic violence, and narcissistic abuse. Her insights are both personal and professional, giving her a unique lens into this insidious form of domestic abuse. Vanessa is a long-distance runner and two-time Ironman who is best known for running the state of New York (285 miles in 11 days) in a wedding dress to raise awareness for narcissistic abuse.