People-Pleasing Pastors - by Charles Stone (Paperback)

About the Book

Charles Stone's research on thousands of pastors and ministry leaders demonstrates the dangers of approval-motivated leadership. Bringing together biblical insights and neuroscience findings, Stone shows why we fall into people-pleasing patterns and what we can do to overcome these tendencies for more effective ministry.

Book Synopsis

Charles Stone's research on thousands of pastors and ministry leaders demonstrates the dangers of approval-motivated leadership. Bringing together biblical insights and neuroscience findings, Stone shows why we fall into people-pleasing patterns and what we can do to overcome these tendencies for more effective ministry.

Review Quotes

"Charles Stone is a gift to the body of Christ, and so is his latest book, People-Pleasing Pastors. As I read through the pages I was personally convicted. Who doesn't want validation and appreciation for our efforts? We are human after all, right? But Charles's book reveals the dangers when a healthy need of appreciation goes too far. His extensive research of over twelve hundred pastors gives us insight into what Christian leaders have known intuitively but few talked about--we are serial people pleasers. Thank you, Charles, for highlighting this problem and giving us hope for a solution."

--Brian Dodd, leadership blogger, pastoral coach with The Rocket Company

"Charles Stone is a gift to the body of Christ, and so is his latest book, People-Pleasing Pastors. As I read through the pages I was personally convicted. Who doesn't want validation and appreciation for our efforts? We are human after all, right? But Charles's book reveals the dangers when a healthy need of appreciation goes too far. His extensive research of over twelve hundred pastors gives us insight into what Christian leaders have known intuitively but few talked about-we are serial people pleasers. Thank you, Charles, for highlighting this problem and giving us hope for a solution."

"Charles Stone writes about a topic that every person and leader needs to be aware of: people-pleasing. He shows the problem and offers seven practical principles as solutions to overcoming people pleasing. The principles are full of wisdom and insights. Reading this book will allow you to become a better leader. I personally enjoyed and would recommend reading this well-written book."

"Dr. Stone tackles a topic that ministry leaders nervously joke about but rarely take seriously. People-Pleasing Pastors is an important resource for every ministry leader. Supported by research and made relatable by personal stories, this book will challenge and propel you to lead more authentically and effectively."

"Dr. Stone tackles a topic that ministry leaders nervously joke about but rarely take seriously. People-Pleasing Pastors is an important resource for every ministry leader. Supported by research and made relatable by personal stories, this book will challenge and propel you to lead more authentically and effectively."

--Jenni Catron, executive director of Cross Point Church and author of Clout

"I wish Charles Stone's new book, People-Pleasing Pastors, had been available to me as a pastor twenty years ago. His proposal that many pastors lead from the perspective of wanting everyone to be happy and that "it's our job to make sure that we as pastors please everyone" resonated with me. I think it will do the same for many pastors today who are seeking to understand the intersection of who they are and the challenge of working with people in and outside of the church. Stone skillfully identifies critical gaps that prevent pastors from leading well and then offers authentic insight on how to close them based on his own thirty-plus years of pastoral leadership."

"I wish Charles Stone's new book, People-Pleasing Pastors, had been available to me as a pastor twenty years ago. His proposal that many pastors lead from the perspective of wanting everyone to be happy and that "it's our job to make sure that we as pastors please everyone" resonated with me. I think it will do the same for many pastors today who are seeking to understand the intersection of who they are and the challenge of working with people in and outside of the church. Stone skillfully identifies critical gaps that prevent pastors from leading well and then offers authentic insight on how to close them based on his own thirty-plus years of pastoral leadership."

--Bill Nicoson, president and CEO, Cornerstone Pastors Network

"If you've been a local church leader for more than about five minutes, you know there is a fine line between serving people and pleasing people. And under the pressures of ministry it's often difficult to discern that line. Charles Stone brings profound insight and practical wisdom to help us approach leading and loving others in a healthy and productive way."

"People pleasing is a trap in which many people get caught-especially Christian leaders. As a counseling ministry to Christian leaders, we often see this tendency underlie many of the difficulties that bring pastors and missionaries to us. Dr. Stone combines solid biblical principles with principles of neuroscience and family/organizational systems to show how people pleasing develops, how it impacts the people-pleasing pastor and those the pastor tries to please, and finally, how to overcome it. I highly recommend this very practical book."

"Refreshingly honest and practical, People-Pleasing Pastors is an excellent tool for self-evaluation. Dr. Stone delivers insightful, empathetic help to all of us who deal with a very common struggle in ministry--the need to please. As one who can relate, I highly recommend this book."

--Rusty Hayes, senior pastor, First Free Church, Rockford, Illinois

"Refreshingly honest and practical, People-Pleasing Pastors is an excellent tool for self-evaluation. Dr. Stone delivers insightful, empathetic help to all of us who deal with a very common struggle in ministry-the need to please. As one who can relate, I highly recommend this book."

"We all do it at times--but we easily overlook it or do not try to figure out why. This forthright book does that for us, with strong particulars."

--Knute Larson, Outreach Magazine's Resources of the Year, March/April 2015

"We all do it at times-but we easily overlook it or do not try to figure out why. This forthright book does that for us, with strong particulars."

"We all need to be reminded of who we're really working for as pastors. People-Pleasing Pastors needs to be read by every pastor, especially the ones that are still fighting the urge to please everyone around them. Charles is a great leader himself and has written a helpful book on a much-needed but seldom-discussed topic!"

"We all need to be reminded of who we're really working for as pastors. People-Pleasing Pastors needs to be read by every pastor, especially the ones that are still fighting the urge to please everyone around them. Charles is a great leader himself and has written a helpful book on a much-needed but seldom-discussed topic!"

--Artie Davis, founder of The Sticks Network, founding pastor of Cornerstone Community Church, Orangeburg, South Carolina

"We are not called to please people so that we can achieve a more secure identity. We are called to love people out of the secure identity that we already possess, the one that was bought for us through the redeeming work of Christ. People-Pleasing Pastors acknowledges a real problem, and helps equip those in ministry to resist the temptation of seeking the approval of people above all else."

"We are not called to please people so that we can achieve a more secure identity. We are called to love people out of the secure identity that we already possess, the one that was bought for us through the redeeming work of Christ. People-Pleasing Pastors acknowledges a real problem, and helps equip those in ministry to resist the temptation of seeking the approval of people above all else."

--From the foreword by Ed Stetzer, president, LifeWay Research

About the Author

Charles Stone is lead pastor at West Park Church in London, Ontario, and founder of StoneWell Ministries, where he coaches pastors and church leaders, applying neuroscience insight to spiritual leadership. He is the author of 5 Ministry Killers and How to Defeat Them, and he can be found online at charlesstone.com.