Saying Yes - by Natalie Davis (Hardcover)

Book Synopsis

Twenty years of marriage. One life-altering question. Natalie Davis's brave and candid memoir chronicles the transformation of her traditional monogamous marriage into a vibrant polyamorous lifestyle.

When her husband suggests they have sex with strangers, Natalie is incredulous. Yet, in the aftermath of his infidelity and while battling the voice in her head urging her to leave him, she agrees to try non-monogamy. What follows surprises no one more than Natalie--a soccer mom and lawyer--as she embarks on a daring journey down the rabbit hole of polyamory.
Fearing for her livelihood and community standing, Natalie must keep her new lifestyle secret. She navigates complex relationships, including increasing clashes with her boyfriend's wife (her "metamour"), confronting a therapist who claims polyamory is abusive, and debating what to tell her family and friends. Along the way, she discovers her own bold sexuality, experiences the thrill of young lovers, finds empathy from her husband's experienced poly girlfriend, and learns to weather heartbreak and find bliss.
Saying Yes offers an unvarnished look into Natalie's world, as she explores excitement, intimacy, and connection in unexpected places, including a few stairwells. With humor, heart, and raw honesty, this memoir is for anyone who has ever wondered what might happen if we say yes to what lies beyond conventional relationships.

Review Quotes

"Few books capture the real, lived experience of opening a relationship with such honesty and heart. In Saying Yes, Natalie Davis invites us into the raw, beautiful, and sometimes messy process of navigating love, jealousy, desire, and growth outside traditional norms. With refreshing candor and courage, she illuminates the longing, uncertainty, joy, and heartbreak that can arise along the way. For anyone curious about consensual non-monogamy or seeking to better understand their own relationship landscape, this book is a generous and affirming companion."--Jessica Fern, author of Polysecure, Polywise, and Transforming the Shame Triangle

"This memoir is witty, refreshingly honest, and deeply relatable. Natalie's voice is endearing without ever turning saccharine, offering a vulnerable and candid exploration of polyamory with all its trials, tribulations, and hard-earned triumphs. The result is a thoughtful and often humorous portrait of love, identity, and connection, told through the many ups and downs of real life."--Kate Kincaid, LPC, author of Polyamory Journal: A Relationship Book: Prompts and Practices for Navigating Non-Monogamy.

"Saying Yes is a brutally honest and beautifully rendered account of how one happily married couple chose to expand their love into a polyamory lifestyle. Natalie Davis shows every vulnerable, humorous, and challenging aspect of this choice, all while educating 'normies' with pertinent terminology and sharing her deepest feelings, fears, failures, and triumphs. The sincerity, earnestness, and authenticity of their journey had me entranced from the very first page. This book is not to be missed!"--Lorelei James, New York Times bestselling author

"Many twenty-first-century couples will see themselves in the author's story: Her queasy entry into swinging at her husband's urging, her experience with a disastrous first metamour, and the couple's slow advance into full, loving, community-centric polyamory. We learn from experience, but it's a lot less painful to learn from other people's experiences. Any couple thinking about consensual non-monogamy can learn a lot from reading, and discussing, this book."--Alan MacRobert, Polyamory in the News

"This unflinchingly honest memoir lays bare one woman's exploration of consensual non-monogamy and polyamory. In the tone of your wise best friend, Natalie Davis blends intimate life stories with practical information, including a much needed legal perspective and a spotlight on the challenges and importance of finding a poly-affirming therapist. Saying Yes is an insightful read for anyone new to navigating a mix of love, sex, marriage, and non-monogamy."--Tamara Pincus, co-author of It's Called "Polyamory"

"Through vivid and vulnerable storytelling, Natalie Davis offers the kind of authentic polyamory narrative that builds understanding and breaks down barriers."--Brett Chamberlin, Executive Director of OPEN

"One of my favorite things about polyamory is how different our journeys all are. Like Natalie, I started my polyamorous adventure with my college sweetheart. But while the rest of our paths diverged wildly, we both experienced wins and losses that shaped our lives in unbelievable ways. Saying Yes not only gives insight on the highs and lows of polyamory, but from the very title it reminds us of the value of giving yourself permission and putting yourself out there. Dating, relationships, love, and life don't have to be perfect to be worth celebrating."--Kevin Patterson, creator of Poly Role Models and author of Love's Not Colorblind

"I've had the pleasure of meeting Natalie several times, and her genuine, no-nonsense approach to sharing her story is exactly what comes through in Saying Yes. She doesn't sugarcoat the messy, complicated reality of navigating polyamory - she tells it like it is, mistakes and all, which is exactly what people need to hear when they're considering their own authentic path. If you're curious about polyamory or just want to read about someone's brave journey toward living authentically, this memoir offers the raw honesty and real-world perspective that's often missing from relationship advice."-- Kitty Chambliss, MCC, CPC, TIC, Author of Jealousy Survival Guide

About the Author

Natalie Davis is the editor of the online publication Polyamory Today. Her work has appeared in several publications, and her views on polyamory have been published in The Washington Post. She presents workshops on communication and non-monogamy. She lives in the Washington, DC area with her partner and metamour. You can find her on social media and Medium @nataliedavisadventures and through her website, nataliedavisadventures.com.