The Cost of Control - by Sharon Hodde Miller

About the Book

Did you know that your daily habits are instilling in you a false sense of control over your life? This leads to anxiety and broken relationships when things appear to go off track. But God has a solution: trade that so-called control for influence.

Book Synopsis

We all wish we had more control. When our relationships are strained, when our bodies refuse to cooperate, when the future is uncertain, control promises security and peace. If only I were in charge, we dream. And this illusion seems more attainable than ever. Technology, science, medicine, and the internet all promise us ever-increasing mastery over our world.

The problem is, control is a "devil's deal." The more we seek it, the more it betrays us. In place of predictability, it gives us anxiety. In place of certainty, it creates more complexity. And in place of unity, it divides. It's not just that we cannot control things; it's that we break them even more when we try.

Thankfully the answer to our craving is not simply to "let go and let God." When our kids aren't listening, when our loved ones are self-destructing, or when our health is declining, we don't have to scramble after control, nor do we have to throw up our hands. Instead, God has given us a better tool.

In this culturally insightful and eye-opening book, Sharon Hodde Miller helps us discover the real power God has given us in Christ, to exercise influence over ourselves and our lives.

From the Back Cover

God didn't give us control. He gave us something better.

We all wish we had more control. When our relationships are strained, when our bodies refuse to cooperate, when the future is uncertain, control promises security and peace. If only I were in charge, we dream. And this illusion seems more attainable than ever. Technology, science, and medicine all promise us ever-increasing mastery over our world.

The problem is, the more we seek the illusion of control, the more it betrays us. In place of certainty, it gives us anxiety. In place of predictability, it creates complexity. And in place of unity, it divides. It's not just that we cannot control things, it's that we break them even more when we try.

Thankfully the answer to our craving is not simply to "let go and let God." Instead, God has given us a better tool. In this eye-opening book, Sharon Hodde Miller helps us discover the real power God has given us in Christ--to exercise influence over ourselves and our lives.


"If you are like me, and you find yourself grasping for all kinds of control, this book is a breath of fresh air. Sharon takes the time to remind us of all the ways we are grasping for that control and how it's hurting us, but more importantly, she reminds us of the power we have through the Holy Spirit. This book is for every single one of us."--Jamie Ivey, bestselling author of You Be You and host of The Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey podcast

"With sharp theological and psychological understanding, Sharon opens a world of insight that we desperately need to loosen the grip--or rather be freed from the grip--of the illusion of control. This book is a gift."--Rich Villodas, pastor of New Life Fellowship and author of The Deeply Formed Life

About the Author

Sharon Hodde Miller, PhD, is teaching pastor at Bright City Church in Durham, North Carolina, which she cofounded with her husband, Ike. The author of Free of Me and Nice, Miller has blogged at SheWorships.com for over ten years, has been a regular contributor to Propel, Her.meneutics, and She Reads Truth, and has written for Relevant, Christianity Today, (in)courage, and many other publications and blogs. She lives with Ike and their three children in Durham, North Carolina.