The Fear of Large and Small Nations - by Nancy Agabian (Paperback)

About the Book

A feminist bisexual Armenian American woman journeys to her homeland to confront the many contradictions of being a diasporan. Her story of breaking free from intimate partner violence is told in short stories, journal entries, and blog posts.

Book Synopsis

In Nancy Agabian's The Fear of Large and Small Nations, feminist writer and teacher Natalee--aka Na--flees the conservative fearmongering of George W. Bush's America to reclaim her cultural roots in post-Soviet Armenia. As she contends with rigid gender roles and rampant homophobia, learning the language when her linguistic roots in the Ottoman Empire have all but disappeared, and centering her identity as a bisexual Armenian American woman amid her own secret desire for love, Na is soon left with more questions than answers about where her fractured self belongs in the world.

When she falls for Seyran, a much younger bisexual punk rocker who seems to value her for who she is, it comes as a relief: in a culture where marriage is seen as a source of protection for women, Na has the satisfaction of subverting societal expectations by shielding Seyran from conscription and, after marrying and moving to New York together, deportation. But when Seyran reveals an abusive side, Na becomes trapped in a dangerous codependent web, complicated by intergenerational trauma, political ideals, and, above all, love. To leave him, she will have to choose herself--whoever that is.

Written in gripping short stories interspersed with intimate journal entries and blog posts, the fragmented narrative reveals what is lost in the tightrope journey between cultures ravaged by violence and colonialism--and what is gained when one woman seizes control of her story, pulsating in its many shades and realities, daring to be witnessed.

Review Quotes

This is a courageously fragmented approach to storytelling that depicts a valiant search for self-understanding while challenging traditional gender roles, discrimination, and homophobia. Beautifully textured writing in a compelling tale that ponders identity and belonging.

In this epic feminist-misadventure story, a bisexual woman returns to her twice-estranged homeland determined to find belonging. Alongside a mosaic of artists, intellectuals, and students facing restrictive gender politics, she sifts through her own traumatic history of genocide and survival, bears witness to post-Soviet echoes, all the while navigating the vulnerable borders that exist between nations and individuals. This riveting, multilayered novel will make you laugh, cry, rage, and in the end, hold it tenderly against your heart.

To read Nancy Agabian's new novel is to experience a masterful storyteller in the process of chiseling one's hardened stereotypes, assumptions, and meager traditions-sometimes patiently-but oftentimes with the unrelenting bang of the pulverizing pen. Just like the ancient stone carvers of the Armenian highlands, Agabian's courageous voice clears the settling dust of despair, gives us ample room to contemplate, satiates us with hope, and ultimately empowers us to see.

Much like her beloved Armenia wedged between other countries, Na is caught in a tug-of-war between the weight of what's owed and the acts we perform to survive. Transplanted where language, sex, and oppression collide, Na's ear, plastered close to the ground of the female soul, exposes intimate rooms where few dare to go, where women ponder or claw, ascend or stumble along. A vanguard feminist-humorist, honest, unflinchingly brave, Nancy has written a new book that is a salve for us all."