When Kids Call the Shots - by Sean Grover (Paperback)

About the Book

Learn how to stop the cycle of abusive behavior and make parenting fun again.

Book Synopsis

If you want to fix your rebellious and disrespectful child, you need to start by fixing yourself.

Are your kids pummeling you with demands and bossing you around with impunity? Have your once-precious preschoolers become rebellious, entitled, and disrespectful to authority? While there are plenty of so-called experts who might try to validate your convictions that you have done all you can to "fix" your "difficult" children, the hard truth is, they're not doing you any favors by placing the responsibility solely on your children. Parenting struggles rarely originate from just one side. Instead, they erupt at the volatile intersection of a child's personality with a parent's own insecurities and behaviors.

In When Kids Call the Shots, therapist and parenting expert Sean Grover untangles the forces driving family dysfunction, and helps parents assume their leadership roles once again. Parents will discover:

• Three common bullying styles used by kids
• Parenting styles that contribute to power balances
• Critical testing periods in a child's development
• Coping mechanisms that backfire
• Personalized plans for calmly exerting authority in any scenario

The solution to any problem begins with learning to control what you can control. In parenting, you've already learned how impossible it is to control your kids. Begin by controlling you!

From the Back Cover

If you've picked up this book, you're probably at your tipping point. Behavior that used to seem excusable--he's just spirited; she's a little lawyer--has become a huge source of stress in your life.

But parenting doesn't have to be this hard. When Kids Call the Shots opens your eyes to the root cause of your child's bossy behavior, with a liberating message and perceptive advice that puts your family on a healthier, happier path. With this sanity-saving book, you'll:

- Recognize the three most common bullying styles that our kids use against us--anxious, defiant, and manipulative--and learn strategies to restore your leadership

- Understand how your own insecurities and personal history have shaped your parenting choices

- Discover the three parenting styles--guilt-prone, anxiety-fueled, and fix-everything--that are most likely to provoke disruptive behavior in children

- See how troubling behaviors are often triggered by conflicts between your child's personality and your parenting style

- Be alert to the critical "testing" periods in children's development that fuel conflicts with their parents

- See how increasing self-care and eliminating burnout can strengthen your parental leadership role

- Know exactly what to do when your child acts out

- Reclaim your parent power, and bring back the joys of family life

"Inspired and practical thinking by one of the finest therapists in the field." --Julie Y. Low, MD, Board-Certified Child & Adolescent NYU Faculty

"Masterful lessons in the delicate art of parenting." --Marianne Pearl, author of A Mighty Heart and In Search of Hope

"Sage advice that parents will be able to use immediately." --Jean Kunhardt, MA, LMHC, Director, Soho Parenting

Sean Grover, LCSW, is a psychotherapist with 20 years' experience working with adults and children, and he maintains one of the largest private group therapy practices in the United States. He has designed award-winning youth programs and has been quoted in Newsweek, New York Magazine, NPR, and elsewhere about parent-child relationships. For information on parenting workshops, articles, and videos, or to contact Sean, visit www.seangrover.com.

Review Quotes

..".fabulous, stupendous, and all around terrific how-to book that helps parents control situations when a child is bullying them." --Grandma Ideas

..".it is nice to have a book like this one to help me learn how to parent better." --Beautiful Mommies

..".lot of good ideas, and common sense approaches to not only getting control of your kids, but most importantly helping you to see what caused the problem..." --Learning Curvy

..".offers readable bites of advice, case studies from his 20 years working with families and personal stories of his own trials as the father of two girls." --Associated Press

.."this is a book I will be reopening for a long time. The advice is easy and sound!" --Maria's Space

"Grover hit his groove in a savvy compilation of how NOT to let your kids get away with tantrums...MUST HAVE BOOK for parents, teachers, and this blogger!" --The Review Broads

"It helps that Grover readily admits mistakes he made in his own parenting, which lets us relate to his teachings--and makes him more believable, too." --Psychcentral.com

"It is as if this book was written just for me...I am learning coping mechanisms that I can use to deal with everyday scenarios and situations..." --All Beautiful Mommies

"Psychotherapist Grover pulls no punches in this parenting manual...[his] empowering, motivating approach is highly compassionate to suffering, burnt-out parents..." --Publishers Weekly

"The art of parenting will be enhanced with this interesting, insightful, and helpful read." -Bookloons

About the Author

SEAN GROVER, LCSW, has worked in child development and adult psychotherapy for 20 years, and maintains one of the largest private group therapy practices in the U.S. He has been quoted in Newsweek, New York Magazine, NPR, and elsewhere about parent-child relationships.