Letting Go of Your Ex - by Cortney Soderlind Warren (Paperback)

About the Book

For those struggling with relationship addiction, or "love addiction," a breakup can feel overwhelming. Letting Go of Your Ex offers evidence-based skills and techniques grounded in cognitive behavioral therapy to help combat symptoms such as emotional distress, impulsive behavior, and obsessive rumination. With this compassionate and nonjudgmental guide, readers will find the tools needed to recover from love addiction, create a new life without their ex, and start focusing on what makes them happy.

Book Synopsis

Do you feel like you'll never get over your ex?

Are you struggling to get over a former lover? Do thoughts and memories of your ex occupy your mind day and night? Do you wish you could talk to them, touch them, see them--anything to make you feel close again? Are you consumed by anger, sadness, frustration, or unbearable pain that your relationship is over? If so, you're not alone--and you may be going through a love-addicted breakup. For people who struggle with love addiction, breakups can be downright devastating. Yet, there are tools you can use to start healing.

Letting Go of Your Ex offers powerful, evidence-based skills grounded in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to help you manage intense emotions, get unstuck from the past, and start focusing on what makes you happy now. Feeling addicted to your ex can leave you in a constant state of craving and withdrawal. But you can emerge as a stronger, more honest, and authentic version of yourself. This compassionate and practical guide can help you heal your pain, and start enjoying your life again--with or without your ex.

You'll learn:

• How and why love can function like an addiction
• How to change the harmful beliefs that keep you stuck on your ex
• How childhood experiences affect adult romantic relationships
• How to avoid recreating old dynamics in a new relationship

Review Quotes

"Letting Go of Your Ex is an engaging book for anyone who finds themselves addicted to love and struggling to let go. Cortney Soderlind Warren breaks down the healing journey into three easy-to-follow stages with exercises to help you along the way. This book is an excellent first step toward building a confident and authentic self."
--Linda Castillo, PhD, psychologist, and professor of counseling psychology at Texas A&M University--Linda Castillo, PhD

"Letting Go of Your Ex is an expertly crafted self-help guide that will assist anyone struggling to get over a former love. Based on a cognitive behavioral conceptualization of addiction, Cortney Soderlind Warren skillfully helps readers understand their post-breakup symptoms of heartache while teaching practical skills to facilitate healing. Infused with examples that anyone who's fallen in love can understand, this book offers readers an empathic path to growth and empowerment."
--Phillip Levendusky, PhD, ABPP, faculty at McLean Hospital and Harvard Medical School--Phillip Levendusky, PhD, ABPP

"Cortney Soderlind Warren eloquently captures the inner psyche of a person who is in the throes of a painful breakup. Using case studies, science, and practical tools, Warren helps the addicted person gain insight into why they feel the way they do, and how they can free themselves from emotional heartbreak. This is definitely a book I will recommend to my patients struggling to get over an ex."
--Robi Ludwig, PsyD, psychotherapist, author, TV expert, and creator and host of Talking Live with Dr. Robi Ludwig and the Byte Size podcast--Robi Ludwig, PsyD

"Cortney Soderlind Warren's book explains how CBT skills can be used to address a love addition to an ex-spouse, partner, or love interest in a way that makes the techniques accessible to anyone. The case studies provide fascinating insights into the real-life applications of CBT. Warren also explains the underlying neurological basis of love addiction, and provides a compelling case for using CBT to address this problem."
--Nancy Raymond, MD, board-certified psychiatrist who has served on the faculty at two Midwestern medical schools over her thirty-year career--Nancy Raymond, MD

"Cortney Soderlind Warren's evidence-based approach to healing after a breakup is practical and effective. Anyone struggling with difficulty moving forward after a relationship loss will find comfort in this inspiring read, which helps readers to know they are not alone, and gives them empowering solutions for letting go."
--Judy Ho, PhD, ABPP, ABPdN, CFMHE, clinical and forensic neuropsychologist, tenured professor at Pepperdine University, and author of Stop Self-Sabotage--Judy Ho, PhD, ABPP, ABPdN, CFMHE

"Every once in a while, a book comes along that fits several much-needed criteria in the pantheon of self-help texts. Cortney Soderlind Warren combines a compassionate point of view from her work as an esteemed author and clinician, pairing her personal experience with her years of clinical, research, and academic expertise. Filled with case studies and pragmatic exercises, this book is for anyone who has ever felt addicted in romance."
--Patrick Ross Scott, PhD, LCSW, DCSW, LFAPA, adjunct assistant professor of psychiatry at the Kirk Kerkorian School of Medicine at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas (UNLV); president of the Association of Integrative Psychology; and executive vice president and clinical director of Heads UP Guidance and Wellness Centers of Nevada--Patrick Ross Scott, PhD, LCSW, DCSW, LFAPA

"For anyone who has fallen head over heels in love only to find it's taking an eternity to stop thinking about your ex, this book is for you. Compassionately narrated life stories meet empirically supported techniques for letting go of your ex."
--Andrea Goeglein, PhD, cofounder of Serving Success; cohost of the Hey Boss Lady! podcast; and coauthor of the Don't Die inspirational book series--Andrea Goeglein, PhD

"For people suffering in the emotional black hole of love addiction, Cortney Soderlind Warren provides a path forward to a safe place, grounded in one's values. She creatively adapts cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) skills to guide therapists in a structured yet flexible way to help their clients transform themselves from the inside out. Using a practical approach with empathy, Warren instills hope that healthy mutual love and fulfillment are possible."
--Edmund C. Neuhaus, PhD, ABPP, assistant clinical professor in the department of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School--Edmund C. Neuhaus, PhD, ABPP

"For those struggling with post-breakup emotions and behaviors, Cortney Soderlind Warren's book is like having a therapist in your hand. She walks the reader through the process of CBT in a seamless fashion, interwoven with example vignettes which truly bring the book to life. Her embedded worksheets will be a gift to readers embroiled in 'EXAHOLIC' patterns. Warren truly has a gift of breaking down complex concepts into easily digestible bites, as she invites the reader on a journey of self-discovery."
--Lisa Durette, MD, DFAPA, DFAACAP, vice chair of the Kirk Kerkorian School of Medicine at the UNLV department of psychiatry and behavioral health--Lisa Durette, MD, DFAPA, DFAACAP

"There are many resources to help clients with their intimate relationships, but few to guide them when those relationships end. This wise and sensitive book by Cortney Soderlind Warren fills the gap--supporting clients through a three-part process of understanding their pain, examining beliefs and early experiences contributing to their distress, and navigating steps toward letting go and moving forward in a healthy way. Readers will grow and prosper!"
--Douglas K. Snyder, PhD, professor in the department of psychological and brain sciences at Texas A&M University, coauthor of Getting Past the Affair, and coeditor of Clinical Handbook of Couple Therapy--Douglas K. Snyder, PhD

About the Author

Cortney Soderlind Warren, PhD, ABPP, is a board-certified clinical psychologist; and former tenured associate professor of psychology at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas (UNLV). Having won numerous professional awards for her research, Warren is an expert on addictions, eating pathology, self-deception, and the practice of psychotherapy from a cross-cultural perspective. In addition to her academic work, Warren is a speaker, author, and coach with a passion for bringing psychological tools to the public. She earned her doctorate from Texas A&M University after completing a clinical internship at McLean Hospital/Harvard Medical School in 2006.

Foreword writer Antonio Cepeda-Benito, PhD, has published extensively, received several awards, and his research connecting the disciplines of behavioral neuroscience and clinical psychology to investigate drug addiction and eating disorders from a cross-cultural perspective has been supported by grants from the National Institute on Drug Abuse, the Texas Department of Health, and the Spanish Ministry of Science and Technology. In 2009, he was named one of the "Top 100 Most Influential Hispanics" by Hispanic Business Magazine.