Talk to Me First - by Deborah Roffman (Paperback)

About the Book

From nationally acclaimed educator and author of "Sex and Sensibility" a guide to raising sexually healthy kids in a world saturated with sexual language and imagery"

Book Synopsis

We live in a time when kids of all ages are bombarded with age-sensitive material wherever they turn; "sexting" and bullying are on the rise at an increasingly younger age, and teen moms are "celebrified." What is a concerned -- and embarrassed -- parent to do? With wit, wisdom, and savvy, Deborah Roffman translates her experiences gleaned from decades of teaching kids and parents, and as a mom, into strategies to help parents navigate this tricky terrain. Talk to Me First is for any parent who wants to become and remain the most credible and influential resource about sexuality in their children's lives.

Review Quotes

Publishers Weekly, 6/4/12
"For Roffman, human sexuality is the 'richest, deepest, and most extensive' subject there is, and one can clearly sense her joy and exuberance in addressing her subject...Roffman's frank and vibrant pep talk will give parents the inspiration and tools needed to tackle the subject of sex with their kids."

Kirkus Reviews, 7/15/12"An informative, helpful guide for parents contemplating how to talk to their children about the birds and the bees...In utilizing this important guide, parents can reclaim the sexual education of their children instead of surrendering it to the influence of misguided media advertisers. Roffman's cleareyed text and non-clinical delivery makes the slippery slope of sex education less daunting."
Metro New York, 6/26/12
"A guide to 'the talk' in the 21st century."

Parents, 8/3/12"A very helpful book."
Bookviews.com, August 2012"Filled with excellent advice on topics such as teaching kids to view the sexually-saturated media critically, becoming approachable to ask questions regarding sex, and learning how to communicate with information, clarity about values, anticipatory guidance, and setting limits. The author has written extensively on this subject and really knows what she is talking about."

InfoDad.com, 8/23/12

"Deborah Roffman is our most articulate champion of sensible and wise sexuality education. I have referenced her work in conversations with my own children, and recommend her to all parents who wrestle with the question, 'So, how do I talk with my kids about sex?'"

Matthew Stuart, Head of Caedmon School and former Middle School Head at National Cathedral School
"Deborah Roffman has been my 'go-to' person for parents, faculty, and students when it comes to having a sane, healthy, and helpful conversation about that 'scary' subject called sexuality. The fears and awkwardness are replaced by intelligent, thoughtful commentary, and school communities are happy, relieved, and enlightened once Debbie has spent some time with them!"

Independent School, October 2012"Roffman has clearly established herself as the education world's 'go-to' expert. While Talk to Me First is written primarily for parents, it's also a great resource for educators...Calm, clear, [and] affirming."

Curled Up with a Good Book"Parents will get a clear understanding of the sexual messages youth are exposed to today and how it can affect them in future relationships."

Metapsychology Online Reviews, 12/23/12

"I only wish that my wife and I had this book when we were raising our children! Actually, I wish my parents had had this book too! Wise, honest, and funny, Deborah Roffman addresses all the fears and hesitations parents have about talking to their children about sexuality, puts the topic in its proper, broader context of parenting, and gives helpful advice."

Steve Clem, Executive Director, Association of Independent Schools in New England
"Reading this book is like sitting down with a wise, warm, and supportive best friend--she happens to be a sexuality educator--who tells you 1) what's really going on with kids and sex; 2) why this is happening; and 3) what you need to do about it. Deborah Roffman will make you feel confident that you can and will handle this crucial parenting task. Read this book. You and your kids will be glad you did."

William J. Taverner, Editor, American Journal of Sexuality Education
"Deborah Roffman is one of the most enlightened thinkers in the field of sexuality education today. To truly understand what sexuality education is all about, people of all ideologies need to stop digging in their heels, and truly listen to what Roffman has to say."

Michael Brosnan, Editor, Independent School, National Association of Independent Schools


"Information-packed...A thoughtful, chatty, intelligent discussion of human sexuality--not just sexual issues to be discussed between kids and parents, but sexuality from birth to adulthood, gender issues in everyday life, and more...Roffman's point is not exactly to demystify sex--it is to show parents that it is ever-present in kids of any and all ages, and can therefore be discussed with children anytime, provided that the talks are done in age-appropriate ways (of which she gives numerous helpful examples)."

San Francisco Book Review / Sacramento Book Review, 9/7/12"This is a great book and worthy of being on any parent's shelf."

Michael G. Thompson, PhD, author of the New York Times bestseller Raising Cain
"By the time you finish reading Talk to Me First, you will want to have a conversation about sex with your children. With compassion for adults and a profound developmental understanding of children, Ms. Roffman shows you how to overcome your own inhibitions so that you can send your son or daughter towards a sexual life that is intimate, satisfying, and responsible."

Robie H. Harris, award-winning author of It's Perfectly Normal and It's Not The Stork!


"Roffman gives parents and educators a gift that not only tells us what to say about sexuality to today's kids, but also helps us understand why so many of us feel the way we do about talking about this crucial topic. Roffman gives us the words, understanding, and confidence we need, and enables us to give young people the gift of staying healthy and safe at every stage of childhood and adolescence."

Jennifer Bryan, PhD, author of From the Dress-Up Corner to the Senior Prom
"Talk to Me First is really a guide to becoming your kids' go-to person about life. As a parent and a professional, I am doubly grateful for Roffman's clarity and practicality; she knows that parents must be 'ongoing nurturers' rather than 'periodic information givers' if they are going to successfully counter today's valueless marketing and media messages about intimacy and relationships."

Praise for Deborah Roffman:

Rabbi Elliot N. Dorff, Ph.D., is Distinguished Service Professor of Philosophy at American Jewish University and author of Love Your Neighbor and Yourself

About the Author

Deborah Roffman is a former member of the National Advisory Council for Sexual Health. Her work on childhood and teen sexuality has appeared in the Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, and Boston Globe. She lives in Baltimore, Maryland.