Unkind Mind - by Betsy Holmberg (Paperback)

About the Book

Many women live with a hypercritical inner voice that constantly tells them they aren't good enough, smart enough, or worthy of success or love. Written by a psychologist and expert in negative thinking, this book shines a light on where this voice comes from--a deeply rooted survival mechanism in the brain called the default mode network (DMN). Using powerful skills drawn from neuroscience, readers will learn how to flip the switch on this unkind mind, so they can live with greater confidence and self-compassion.

Book Synopsis

A cutting-edge, neuroscientific approach to quiet your unkind mind--and cultivate the self-compassion, confidence, and courage you need to thrive.

Is there an unrelenting hypercritical voice inside your head, constantly telling you that you aren't smart enough, attractive enough, successful enough, or worthy of love? Have you ever asked yourself why this harsh, judgmental voice is so damn ruthless? Negative self-talk is all too common for women. After all, we're expected to be perfect, look perfect, and "do it all" with a smile. So, how can you stop holding yourself to unreasonable standards, turn the volume down on your unkind mind, and give yourself a little self-love and acceptance instead?

This unflinching guide shines a light on why women are the hardest on themselves, and where this merciless inner critic comes from--an evolutionary mechanism in our brains called the default mode network (DMN). Using powerful and practical skills drawn from cutting-edge neuroscience, you'll learn how to flip the switch on these toxic self-critical thoughts, move past the "not good enough" mentality standing between you and the happiness you deserve, and supercharge your confidence and self-compassion!

Discover a new outlook on life, as you:

• Stop comparing yourself to others
• Quiet negative self-talk for good
• Reconnect with your kind mind
• Live with courage and authenticity

Review Quotes

"Any woman who has ever thought, 'There's something wrong with me, ' needs to read this book. Betsy Holmberg's voice is an encouraging counterbalance to the negative self-talk she explores, helping us judge ourselves less and understand our judgments more. Packed full of immediately applicable anecdotes and exercises, women from all walks of life will feel at home in Holmberg's words."
--Caroline Fleck, PhD, licensed psychologist, and author of Validation--Caroline Fleck, PhD

"As a therapist who works with survivors of relational trauma, I find that negative self-talk is one of the biggest hurdles in their healing process. This book is a great resource for the 'whys' behind this pattern, and provides some practical strategies for moving through self-doubt and inner criticism. A must-read for those looking to reclaim their sense of self-worth in their healing journey!"
--Kaytee Gillis, LCSW-BACS, author of Breaking the Cycle--Kaytee Gillis, LCSW-BACS

"Betsy Holmberg focuses on an important topic in women's health: how problematic negative self-talk is, and how your inner critic can be at the crux of your suffering. She weaves evidence-based neuroscience as a theoretical framework, while offering practical advice and helpful exercises that can help you quell your inner critic, for good. This resource can help restore your inner peace and promote your journey to healing."
--Tracy Hutchinson, PhD, psychotherapist, faculty at the College of William and Mary, and author of Adult Children of High-Conflict Parents--Tracy Hutchinson, PhD

"In a friendly, direct, and loving voice, Betsy Holmberg teaches about how our brains limit us when we most need their help. I found her insights exciting, freeing, energizing, and above all, practical. What a joy! I know I will return to this book--the sections I've underlined and tagged--for a refresh and a guide as I take on the next challenge, and the one after that."
--Joanna Barsh, best-selling coauthor of How Remarkable Women Lead--Joanna Barsh

"This book is easy to read, understand, and so relatable. Betsy is open, honest, and uses humor throughout the book, which makes reading it a delight. You are not your thoughts, so don't let your default mode network (DMN) run the show. Betsy gives lots of examples and tools to choose from. I really enjoyed this opportunity to learn something new and I hope you do too!"
--Susan Sullivan, psychiatric nurse practitioner--Susan Sullivan

"This well-written self-help book is easy to read and, more importantly, put to immediate use. The author helps us to clearly understand the origins of some of our most self-defeating thoughts by seamlessly blending science-based information with clear, real-life examples. The best part of the book is that she also provides the reader with a hopeful template for change."
--Hope Payson, LCSW, LADC, producer of Uprooting Addiction: Healing from the Ground Up--Hope Payson, LCSW, LADC

About the Author

Betsy Holmberg, PhD, is a psychologist and author specializing in overthinking and negative self-talk. She writes for Psychology Today, and has been featured on radio, television, and podcasts. Before that, she ran the mental health service line at McKinsey & Company, and received her PhD from Duke University.