Finding Loretta - by Diane Wheaton (Paperback)

Book Synopsis

For fans of Dani Shapiro's Inheritance and Nicole Chung's All You Can Ever Know, a debut memoir from a mid-life adoptee who, just as she's meeting biological family for the first time, unearths a secret kept from her for years by her adoptive parents.

Adopted as an infant by a naval officer and his wife during the Baby Scoop Era, Diane Wheaton has always heard conflicting versions of the truth of her origins--but it's not until she is forty-seven years old that she begins to search for her biological family in earnest. Amid search and reunion, however, Diane's adoptive parents become ill--and while overseeing their care, she is told about a secret they have kept from her for over fifteen years. This shocking disclosure complicates her already complicated feelings for them, and she finds herself faced with an important decision--one that feels almost impossible to make, but which results in a level of healing she never could have anticipated.

A touching memoir of self-discovery, Finding Loretta is Diane's tale of searching for history, roots, and family. Ultimately, she comes to accept the two distinct dynamics of the families who have helped make her who she is today, and in doing so she learns to embrace herself and feel grateful for everything she has experienced--even loss.

Review Quotes

"Finding Loretta is a touching and powerful memoir chronicling one woman's journey to uncover her identity amidst the scars of psychological abuse and the tangled web of secrets and betrayal. Trapped in the shadow of an adoptive mother whose unaddressed grief and trauma manifested as gaslighting and manipulation, Diane struggles to reconcile her deep longing to please her mother with the need to find herself. This bittersweet narrative offers a heartbreaking yet inspiring exploration of resilience, identity, and belonging--a story that will linger in your heart long after the final page."--Monica Hall, author of Practically Still a Virgin

"In her memoir Finding Loretta, Diane Wheaton has crafted a work of the heart, a search for belonging, wanting the heritage that is due her; to look in the mirror and know who she is. This book brought me to tears as the story unfolded like a mystery. Will she find her mother? Will she find her true origins and family? What is the legacy of her life? A wonderful story of hope and healing."--LINDA JOY MYERS, founder of the National Association of Memoir Writers, author of Don't Call Me Mother, Song of the Plains, and a novel The Forger of Marseilles

"Secrets are woven into fabric of closed adoption, on a systemic, institutional level, and within adoptive and biological families. These secrets have deep generational repercussions, which are so deftly illustrated in Diane Wheaton's complex and moving book. In this deeply personal story, she shows us the damage that secrets can inflict, as well as the potential for connection, redemption and healing."--SUSAN KIYO ITO, author of I Would Meet You Anywhere

"I was pulled into the many layers of Finding Loretta from the very beginning. From her rocky relationship with her adoptive parents to her unrelenting search for her birth parents and blood relatives, Diane's story is that of resilience, hope, perseverance, and strength. From gut wrenching heartbreak to the relief of finally knowing one's roots, emotions run deep in this beautifully written memoir."--KRISTI ELIZABETH, Los Angeles Book Review

"In Finding Loretta, Diane Wheaton deftly showcases the balancing act all adoptees face when launching a search: displaying loyalty to the only family one has ever known; navigating the closed adoption system; sifting through lies and missing information; staving off fears of rejection; honoring self in the pursuit of truth and identity. The battle between 'right to know' and 'right to privacy' is front and center in Wheaton's gripping personal tale."-- JULIE RYAN MCGUE, author of Twice a Daughter, Belonging Matters, and Twice a Family

"Diane Wheaton offers a thoughtful reflection on the realities of adoption for an adopted person. Finding Loretta takes an honest look at the complexities of adoptee loyalty and includes many compelling moments from start to finish."--HALEY RADKE, creator and host of Adoptees On podcast

"Most little girls would have felt lucky to have been adopted into a two-parent family in an upper-middle class community by the beach with a stay-at-home mother who kept everything just so. But for Diane Wheaton there was something more she yearned for. Something money or a formally set dinner table couldn't buy. This page-turning memoir is full of twists and turns you won't see coming."--LAURIE JAMES, author of Sandwiched

"Finding Loretta opens reader's eyes to the complexity of adoption as Diane Wheaton searches for family and identity while navigating her relationship with her aging adoptive parents and their complicated issues. A moving, personal story of loss, love, and coming home to self."--ANNE HEFFRON, author of You Don't Look Adopted and To Be Real

"In clear, well-paced prose, Diane Wheaton offers gentle insight into the effects of infant relinquishment on an adopted person's life. Finding Loretta is an emotionally honest portrayal of the author's choice to recover what was lost to her in adoption. Five Stars!"--MARY ELLEN GAMBUTTI, author of I Must Have Wandered

"In Finding Loretta, Diane Wheaton offers a glimpse behind the veil separating fallacies from the shattered fantasies that guide her life as an adoptee. Mixed emotions color complicated relationships as she begins her brave journey toward self-discovery. Wheaton courageously rises after every fall, piecing together fragments of who am I and where did I come from, while risking abandonment and betrayal in turns of events readers will least expect. Every word of Finding Loretta is true; a rare opportunity to view adoption from multiple angles."--JUDITH CASSIS, book coach and author of Where Do I Go From Here?

"Finding Loretta unfolds like a good mystery, but it is so much more. It is a love story and a hero's journey. Memoirs tend to be vulnerable to either of two pitfalls; one is the story of 'poor me'; the other is the story that ends with a neatly gift wrapped resolution. Finding Loretta is neither one. Wheaton has written a captivating memoir that does justice to the complexities of real people and real life. I found it to be a moving story and a satisfying read."--LEAH FISHER, author of My Marriage Sabbatical

"One of the best books on adoption. This is groundbreaking work, far beyond a memoir. There is much that can be gleamed from Finding Loretta."--NICOLE NEUMAN, cultural consultant and psychologist

About the Author

Diane Wheaton, a reunited adoptee, is a wife, mother, and grandmother. When she's not writing, she enjoys spending time with her family and friends, as well as reading, painting, gardening, and swimming. She is a member of The National Association of Memoir Writers and was a contributing author to the AN-YA Project's adult adoptee anthology Flip the Script. A native Californian, Diane lives with her husband and their Alaskan Malamute in Santa Clarita, California.