I Don't Want to Talk about It - by Terrence Real (Paperback)

About the Book

A national bestseller, this groundbreaking examination of male depression has been hailed by Robert Bly as a book that "moves on to new ground in language and in story . . . exhilarating in its honesty and its grief."

Book Synopsis

A bestseller for over 20 years, I Don't Want to Talk About It is a groundbreaking and hopeful guide to understanding and destigmatizing male depression, essential not only for men who may be suffering but for the people who love them.

Twenty years of experience treating men and their families has convinced psychotherapist Terrence Real that depression is a silent epidemic in men--that men hide their condition from family, friends, and themselves to avoid the stigma of depression's "un-manliness." Problems that we think of as typically male--difficulty with intimacy, workaholism, alcoholism, abusive behavior, and rage--are really attempts to escape depression. And these escape attempts only hurt the people men love and pass their condition on to their children.

This groundbreaking book is the "pathway out of darkness" that these men and their families seek. Real reveals how men can unearth their pain, heal themselves, restore relationships, and break the legacy of abuse. He mixes penetrating analysis with compelling tales of his patients and even his own experiences with depression as the son of a violent, depressed father and the father of two young sons.

Review Quotes

"This is a hopeful and important book because it shows a way out of depression for men." --The New York Times Book Review

"An important book about men and depression that is uplifting...Men will recognize the other men found here: laconic bullet-biters, 'rage-aholics, ' emotional runaways, and badly fathered sons turned into disconnected dads who spill their emotional truths onto the page." --Richard Higgins, The Boston Globe

"Extraordinary...brings to light a hidden history of male depression...A powerful book." --Michael Kimmel, San Francisco Chronicle Book Review

"The most provocative in a flood of new books on depression...The only volume that speaks exclusively to and about depressed men." --Pamela Warrick, Los Angeles Times

"Offers not only crucial insights to men suffering from depression but also comfort and guidance to the women who love them." --John Bradshaw

"This is a sobering, powerful book about male depression both 'covert' and 'overt.' The book moves on to new ground both in language and story. I Don't Want to Talk About It is exhilarating in its honesty and grief; it moves forward like a hurricane." --Robert Bly

"Even in this era of managed care and Prozac, therapy is still an art. Mr. Real emerges in this book as an artist who plays his theories with the passion and skill of Isaac Stern in concert." --Dallas Morning News

"A tour-de-force, this landmark book uncovers a hidden epidemic with devastating effects. In an elegant novelist style, Terrence Real traces the shadow of male depression from father to son. And in a bold, courageous way, he tells his own story of trauma and recovery, which shines like a golden thread throughout the book." --Connie Zweig, Ph.D., author of Romancing the Shadow

"Riveting reading. You pick it up and can't put it down. . . . I Don't Want to Talk About It could get you started on a conversation with yourself that would allow you to shed a burden you've been carrying a long time." --Jane Tompkins, The Raleigh News & Observer

"Terry Real writes with understanding and compassion for his own father, for himself as a father of young sons, and for the many men in his practice whose stories he tells. Like a good novel, I Don't Want to Talk About It pulls you in and keeps you reading. Beautifully written; it's an important book for all of us." --Olga Silverstein, author of The Courage to Raise Good Men

"Boys in our culture are taught that real men are stoic. The ability to not complain, endure pain, and strive in the face of adversity is admired and celebrated in story and song. The price paid for this isolation is depression. Terry Real has produced a seminal work that is likely to be the text of choice for therapists and patients for many years." --Pia Mellody, author of Facing Love Addiction and Facing Co-Dependence

"Clear, compelling . . . strongly reasoned. . . . The book is wise beyond its stated scope: in setting up a model, nature, and etiology and treatment of male depression, Real ends up offering--with some gender variants--an almost universal paradigm." --Publishers Weekly

About the Author

Terrence Real is an internationally recognized family therapist, speaker, and author. He founded the Relational Life Institute, offering workshops for couples, individuals, and parents along with a professional training program for clinicians to learn his Relational Life Therapy methodology. He is the bestselling author of Us, How Can I Get Through to You?, and The New Rules of Marriage.