The Green Dumb Guide to Houseplants - by Holly Theisen-Jones (Hardcover)

About the Book

Profiles of 45 house-plants that are easy to find and even easier to grow.

Book Synopsis

For those who want to take care of houseplants but can hardly take care of themselves, The Green Dumb Guide to Houseplants is the perfect handbook for even the most greenery-inept individual.

We all love the idea of houseplants, and maybe you've stood by helplessly as a cactus went all slimy or you've endured the perpetual indoor autumn of an unhappy Ficus. Good news--all of the plants in this book have two things in common: They're easy to find and hard to kill.

The benefits of plant ownership are legion. Studies indicate just being around plants creates a relaxing effect on people. And plants make great roommates--no Peace Lily will ever criticize you for quitting your workout video to go finish a box of Triscuits.

Does your bedroom have a mattress on the floor and Christmas lights taped to the wall? Put a Money Tree in the corner. Instant upgrade! Are you a corporate lackey trapped under fluorescent lights and a drop-tile ceiling? A colorful Calathea or a chunky little Aloe could help restore your will to live. The Green Dumb Guide to Houseplants is full of useful advice, crucial dos and don'ts, and realistic inspiration for all budgets and attention spans--ensuring success to even the most risk-averse, commitment-phobic indoor gardeners.

THE EASIEST POSSIBLE GUIDE TO LEARNING THE BASICS OF PLANT CARE: No skills needed, except knowing how to read this book.

FORTY-FIVE HOUSEPLANT PROFILES: EACH ONE EASY TO FIND AND HARD TO KILL: Divided into difficulty sections ranging from "Practically Plastic," "Chill," "Fussy," or "Master Gardener" (only one of those!), this handy houseplant book ensures you choose the right plant for your level of commitment.

IF ALL ELSE FAILS, A BONUS SECTION ON HOW TO CHOOSE PLASTIC PLANTS: Shade doesn't only come from plants! Take your absolutely true advice with a healthy dose of humor.

Perfect for:

• Everyone who has ever tried and failed to grow houseplants
• DIY decorators
• Anyone starting out in a new home or apartment
• A great gift for grads, newlyweds, and hosts or hostesses (along with a plant, of course)

Review Quotes

" A charming, browsable, useful book for beginners...The layout is colorful and inviting, and humorous asides pepper the text."

--Library Journal

About the Author

Holly Theisen-Jones wrote a viral piece on wellness-industry influencers for McSweeney's in 2017 called "My Fully Optimized Life Allows Me Ample Time to Optimize Yours" and was subsequently shocked by people's inability to distinguish satire from reality after she was offered contracts as a life coach, invited to contribute to wellness blogs, and even asked to speak at events. As she says, "At first, it was funny. Then it was scary." During a brief, unimpressive career in horticulture, Holly learned that she is to tropical plants as Charlie Brown is to Christmas trees and switched careers to human services. If plant murder were a crime, she would be on the way to Venezuela. She lives in Atlanta with her husband, child, six frogs, and a house full of plastic succulents.