Are You Mad at Me? - by Meg Josephson (Hardcover)

Book Synopsis

"If you struggle with that screensaver type of anxiety that's always on...this book will feel like coming up for air. Read it and get free." --Katherine Morgan Schafler, psychotherapist and author of The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control

From psychotherapist and social media star Meg Josephson, a groundbreaking exploration of people-pleasing as an under-recognized but common trauma response, that also offers a compassionate and actionable path for healing.

Are you...

- Constantly worried about what people think of you, if they like you, if they're mad at you?
- Anxious, a perfectionist, or an overachiever?
- Always overextending yourself (and then resentful)?
- Someone who avoids conflict at all costs?
- Fearful of getting into trouble or being seen as "bad"?
- Silencing your needs for the comfort and happiness of everyone else?
- Prone to overexplain or over apologize?
- Eternally obsessing over why someone texted with a period instead of an exclamation point?

It's time to stop surviving and start thriving. Meg Josephson, MSW, will tell you how. In Are You Mad at Me?, Josephson explodes the idea that people-pleasing is a personality trait. Instead, she illuminates how it's actually a common trauma response (also known as "fawning"): an instinct often learned in childhood to become more appealing to a perceived threat in order to feel safe. Yet many people are stuck in this way of being for their whole lives.

Meg weaves her own moving story, fascinating patient case studies, and thought-provoking exercises to show readers how to:

- Identify all the roles you might play--from peacekeeper to performer to caretaker to perfectionist to lone wolf to chameleon--that keep you far from yourself.
- Stop fearing your thoughts and emotions, even if they're unpleasant.
- Rethink conflict and boundaries as an opening for deeper connection.
- Practice "leaning back" in relationships.

Review Quotes

"Was Are You Mad at Me? written especially for me? It sure felt like it. For all the people-pleasers, peacekeepers, and fawners out there: Read this book now. My copy is already well-thumbed and heavily underlined--and, no, you can't borrow it! The book, brimming with wisdom and humanity, helped me change my relationship with myself by understanding the patterns of the past that I was still living out today. Thank you, Meg, for freeing me from so much I had buried. It is no overestimation to say that this book is a gamechanger." --Susannah Cahalan, New York Times bestselling author of Brain on Fire

"Are You Mad at Me? unlocks a secret door in the house of healing: understanding the fawn response. Honest, relatable, and totally binge-worthy, Josephson's work has the power to change your entire life. If you struggle with that screensaver type of anxiety that's always on - constantly worrying that you're doing something wrong or that people don't like you - this book will feel like coming up for air. Read it and get free."--Katherine Morgan Schafler, Psychotherapist and Author of The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control

"Hallelujah--at last, salvation for all of us who've ever agonized over an awkward text exchange, wondered if we embarrassed ourselves at a party, or become convinced that a friendship cooling meant we'd unwittingly committed some grave sin. Meg Josephson's instant self-help classic is wise, actionable, and could change your life."--Ada Calhoun, New York Times bestselling author of Why We Can't Sleep

"Meg Josephson has given the world a huge gift in Are You Mad at Me? For all of us who've spent our lives feeling like we were in trouble-- with friends, bosses, spouses, children, everyone-- this book offers explanations, comfort, and best of all, solutions. I'm grateful this book exists because I needed Josephson's gentle wisdom and empowering message now more than ever."--Christie Tate, New York Times Bestselling author of Group: How One Therapist and a Circle of Strangers Saved My Life

"I can count on one hand the number of books that have settled my nervous system within the first three pages of reading. It's so rare to be able to say: I needed this book, me too, thank you." --Holly Whitaker, author of Quit Like a Woman

About the Author

Meg Josephson, MSW, is a full-time psychotherapist with over five hundred thousand followers and millions of likes across social media platforms. She holds a Master of Social Work from Columbia University with a concentration in clinical practice and received her meditation teacher certifi­cation from the Nalanda Institute in New York City.